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Benzos a question for the advanced benzo users

kushblowin

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 12, 2021
Messages
110
i just wanna hear stories from people who have done benzos regularly for 5-10+ years but even any daily prolonged use is good too but just what the hell does it feel to live 24/7 under a heavy heavy super strong hypnotic drug where even a tiny crumb can make anyone black out and lose control for days. i know you build up a tolerance but ive smoked weed non stop for 10 years straight and still cant even begin to wrap my head around living under the influence of benzos as your entire life. i would at least need some weed to make sure im not doing something stupid and kill off the benzos a little bit.

ive done benzos casually and didnt realize how strong they really are because i was always mixing it with alcohol to give an extra kick and i thought if i took a small small amount of benzos but drank beer or i would be able to control my dosage easier/safer but yeah i was already a drug addicted alcoholic idiot so that never worked.

it freaked me the fuck out the first time i took 1mg and i blacked out and was just a totally different person and didnt remember it and slept for 12 hours straight. even just taking the smallest dosages of xanax i can see what its doing to me and i still feel the effect for DAYS after. its amazing for my anxiety but my anxiety is so bad but im afraid of benzos i dont think ill ever be able to take a full bar in 7 years of doing them ive never taken anything bigger than 1.5mg at once but i have redosed over time getting higher doses.

i have to fuck know what it feels like to just live as an alternate version of yourself where you have no fear and just permanently grounded in reality but have no fear of it. is the tolerance really so strong that you taking 4mg is me like .25mg? have you had daily amnesia for years or is it just totally gone? i think about doing it all the time but i never do it. how do you not do stupid shit? how do you do benzos for 10 years and not get arrested?

the "auto pilot" just scares me too much
 
i started my benzo addiction on 10mg valium couple times a day for a few months that grew to over the course of a year to 100mg+- a day. that was good for awhile, that inflated over time to me starting my day with 100mg and taking what ever it took to maintain that. at the peak of this i was going thu two 150 count bottles. and some days cracking a third to get to sleep.

i lost so much time i can't honestly tell you how long this went on. im guessing around 4 to 5 years. been off them coming up on three years, i think. some days it's clearer than others about that time.
 
This benzo you have is not alprazolam and will not provide a reliable comparrison to real xanax.
Whatever is in your pressed bars are giving effects of what it is. The effects are not from alprazolam.
But yeah, tolerance does build quick and there was a time I ate 6-8mg in an 8 hr shift at work for years. Didnt affect me much til I walked out of the tempest as it was going from 190mph to 20mph instanty. Not reccomended.
 
For me heavy daily benzo use results in some pretty odd risk taking behaviors.

I've spent years on benzos, very glad to be free of them. Of course I'm not free exactly since they have desensitized my receptors to the effects of GABA. Horrible stuff. Benzos cause brain damage, potentially irreversibly so.
 
This benzo you have is not alprazolam and will not provide a reliable comparrison to real xanax.
Whatever is in your pressed bars are giving effects of what it is. The effects are not from alprazolam.
But yeah, tolerance does build quick and there was a time I ate 6-8mg in an 8 hr shift at work for years. Didnt affect me much til I walked out of the tempest as it was going from 190mph to 20mph instanty. Not reccomended.
there was alz in there. its a blur and hard to tell but ive done a lot of xanax straight out of pharma bottles and there was definitely a nostalgic exactly like that feel. it might be fluap or something though im not too experienced.
 
there was alz in there. its a blur and hard to tell but ive done a lot of xanax straight out of pharma bottles and there was definitely a nostalgic exactly like that feel. it might be fluap or something though im not too experienced.
It doesn't really matter if it's alprazolam or some other potent triazolobenzo. If used at therapeutic doses then it's a different story. If they're taken in large doses to get fucked up it's really all the same.

Edit: i don't claim it's impossible to differentiate between different benzos. I mean that after certain threshold they all start to feel very similar.
 
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i started my benzo addiction on 10mg valium couple times a day for a few months that grew to over the course of a year to 100mg+- a day. that was good for awhile, that inflated over time to me starting my day with 100mg and taking what ever it took to maintain that. at the peak of this i was going thu two 150 count bottles. and some days cracking a third to get to sleep.
That is incredible. You can't say that BL doesn't have members that can help with harm reduction. That statement right there would get any level headed person thinking twice. Then again I am not that level headed so I get when people want to medicate. But that demonstrates the way tolerance can get so out of hand and then in the end not worth it.

Edit:/Additon: Actually I also think what Negrogesic is saying is atrong statement. The brain damage and after effects of a large benzo withdrawal is a great warning for people almost going down this path.

There has to be more healthier natural ways to get rid of anxiety. I mean for me benzo's are ok because I do hardly use and have saved some pills for years for some events. I may actually try and get my doc to write me 30 alprazolam or something once a year. But for people that eat their stash in one night the benzos are not for them.
 
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Well i started back in 2010, had my first dabble with klonopins and it was fun for sleep & highschool since i graduated in 2012, so you know more or less my time frame, then in 2012 i went in hard on Xanax's since my parents had a pharmacy and all the "expired" medication was to be thrown out to the fda but my little sneaky ass got my parents fined a couple of times cause bottles were missing and a pharmacist got fired but.....it was worth those 2 bottles of 120 2mg Alprazolam and Promethz/Cod Bottle.. i felt like the KING OF THE WORLD, i used to be kinda bullied back in 2007 and was a little introverted, so when i started to use benzo's a who new dude came out, hittin on girls, getting laid, started sellin pot, blow, e, going to raves, heck i even got into dj'in DnB and House Music... and to this day...not proud but, still take ON THE DAILY, around 3-4mg Xannies or 2-6mg Ativan if i dont have anything...YOU SAID IT BEST, "an alternate version of yourself where you have no fear and just permanently" .. I did a LOT OF STUFF IM GLAD im not Locked Up or Dead Like going 120 while on Ecstasy and took a Xanax, thinkin it would chill me out.. IT FUCKED ME UUUUP ended up blasting through the highway PEDAL TO THE METAL with my lights off and my tire blew up at that speed, luckily managed to swerve almost flipped but didn't crash but at that speed a tire blowing and in the hills i was driving 4am coming from EDC... 18 year old me was nutss, *IM NOT PROMOTING DRIVING Under Influence" just sayin one of the many stories i got cause of Benzo's
 
it was fun at first. but when they consume your life like it did to me, the fun goes away fast. i knew i had a problem for a long time, tried to quit many times would last maybe a half day. the only advice i can give someone, is if your taking benzos recreational stop now.. it's very easy to cross the line with these and not realize you have a problem. the big difference in my addiction and most others, is i had a free and unlimited supply

i ended up having to quit cold turkey, that is a hell in it's self that lasted about six months. got up one morning and could only find two pills, in hundreds of empty bottles for some reason i collected the empties i don't know why. i know i can't have a stash of any kind of benzos or opiates all i do is think about them until they are gone, then im good but as long as the pills are around they are on my mind.
 
I have taken them as prescribed for 10+ years. I don't get high or feel anything other than relief
New to the forum. 20 year user of Clonopin. .5 mg 5 x daily. Doc prescribed them no one told me anything about them. I go for a check up. Tell me everything is good write the script. I moved 4 years ago and no one wants me as a patient. Trying to find a doc was near impossible. Tapering myself now because I can’t find help unless I go to the one meth clinic in 60 miles of my house and I live in a tourist town.
I’ve read the info. I want off. The withdrawal is crazy bad but I refuse to go back up to try to go back down. Right now I’m at .5 2x a day.
I know it’s a small amount but it is still painful trying to get rid of it.
Any help at all for relief from the withdrawal other than sleep, less sugar and Tylenol is appreciated. I’m allergic or sensitive to most meds.
Thanks
 
Hey there, sorry you're going through this. Benzos are notoriously difficult to get off of. It gets, in a way, even more challenging when you get really low because if you drop another pill, suddenly you're cutting your dose by 50% which is going to be really rough. The proper way to taper is to cut about 10% off every 1-2 weeks. basically cut 10% of the dose, wait til you feel stable, cut 10% again, etc. Are you able to cut the pills in half? If you could cut them into quarters, then you could take 7 of the 8 quarters that make up 2 pills, which would be a 12.5% reduction. Oh it's twice a day... well if you cut into quarters, you could try taking 3/4 of a pill twice a day (I'm guessing they're 0.5mg pills? if they're 0.25mg, it will be easier). Then from there, try taking just half twice a day. Each time you reduce, stay at that dose until you feel fine on that dose. Whatever you do, don't cheat (you probably already know that).

You might also be able to dissolve some pills in vodka or propylene glycol, so that the benzo is dissolved in the liquid, and then volumetrically dose to very accurately dose exactly the amount you need. The Key here is that you need to be able to dose with finer degree of accuracy than multiples of whole pills, in order to get the rest of the way down and then off.

Gabapentin can help reduce the severity of benzo withdrawal, but it is addictive as well. But if you can get ahold of some, it may be able to help you when you're reducing, for the few days you might feel shaky whenever you drop the dose. Look into it, there are various threads here about gabapentin. if you decide to try it, we can give you some tips on how to properly dose it in order to help. Gabapentin could also be a big help when you finally jump off entirely. But don't dose it daily too long as you can become dependent on it, and while it's not as bad as benzos, it's not good to be dependent on.

One final thing is clonidine. It lowers blood pressure and can help with the physical symptoms of anxiety, which are a big factor with benzo withdrawal. Clonidine is not addictive and quite safe, though it is a prescription drug. But if you go to a doctor and explain that you are trying to get off, I have a hard time imagining they would deny you clonidine as it doesn't get you high and isn't considered dangerous or addictive.

Good job getting this far and welcome to Bluelight. :)
 
True, pregabalin is better. Harder to get prescribed, though, as doctors consider it a much higher risk for abuse. personally I find gabapentin similar but it's harder to dose right and is less powerful/more subtle.
 
I wish i had insurance, doctors give me gabapentin and lyrica like candy because i have fibromyalgia, but its like 600 a bottle without insurance :'(
 
Thank you for the dosing advise. I truly needed it. I’ve seen so many different things that scared me to take too long or go too fast tapering.
The tablets are .5 mg and yes I can cut them in quarters. That’s how I am down from .5 mg - (5)times a day to (2) - .5mg in quarters a day. It getting harder. The withdrawal has other things popping up (GI related) I was not expecting. I think I have that under control. I’ve been 3 weeks so I think this Friday I am ready to taper again

I won’t take anything else that will get me addicted. My family has an addiction history to alcohol so I’d rather not go that route unless absolutely necessary.

is it true sucking sugar free candy or lollipops helps? Sounds dumb to ask but I’m truly novice and looking for reputable answers on the internet isn’t easy.

This was not for anxiety it was combined with donatol for a spastic colon and I tapered off that myself. That was also a real bear! 20 years ago the doctors didn’t know clonopin would be so difficult - there were no long term tests and it was the latest and greatest “fix all” drug.
Thank you again so much for your replies.
 
I see most of you are USA based so I was wondering how easy it is for you to get Benzos prescribed. Here in the UK its fairly tricky to get them prescribed and if you manage that getting them for any length of time is even harder. It all depends on the doctor you have and what your past drug use is like. It was easy to get Pregabalin for a time but it was often one of the drugs in OD cocktails ( Heroin often being the other ) so became as tricky as benzos to obtain.
 
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I see most of you are USA based so I was wondering how easy it is for you to get Benzos prescribed. Here in the UK its fairly tricky to get them prescribed and if you manage that getting them for any length of time is even harder. It all depends on the doctor you have and what your past drug use is like. It was easy to get Pregabalin for a time but it was often one of the drugs in OD cocktails ( Heroin often being the other ).
That is part of my problem in the US. I moved and the doctors were freaking out that I was on this for 20 years.
They won’t even prescribe it in ER’s in some states even if you are in the meds.
IMO knowing what I now know I am very glad.
I would love to get people like me that didn’t know addiction and Alzheimer’s is the end game being on this - can sue the Pharma!!!!! I’m truly angry
 
That is part of my problem in the US. I moved and the doctors were freaking out that I was on this for 20 years.
They won’t even prescribe it in ER’s in some states even if you are in the meds.
IMO knowing what I now know I am very glad.
I would love to get people like me that didn’t know addiction and Alzheimer’s is the end game being on this - can sue the Pharma!!!!! I’m truly angry
The way pills are prescribed in the USA is mind boggling to those of us looking in.
the control big pharma has is scary, Did they dish out benzos in the same way they did opiate pain pills?
 
They put me on this for a GI issue combined with another prescription drug. I was told it was “the new wonder drug with no side effects or long term issues”. I trusted the physician. I was very sick. I am not a medical professional. I’ve grown and learned from that day. A lot!!! This country has a lot of work to do.
 
what the hell does it feel to live 24/7 under a heavy heavy super strong hypnotic drug where even a tiny crumb can make anyone black out and lose control for days.
Lol you rapidly build tolerance. I've been on 2mg-5mg of alprazolam daily for over two years, I don't even feel it anymore.
what it feels like to just live as an alternate version of yourself where you have no fear and just permanently grounded in reality but have no fear of it.
That never happens. The extreme anxiety killing effect wears off pretty quick. I only take alprazolam still because the myorelaxant properties (for which I am prescribed it) are still present. It does little to nothing for my anxiety at this point, and I act like I always have before.
is the tolerance really so strong that you taking 4mg is me like .25mg?
Yes. To me, 1mg is roughly equivalent to what .25mg is for you I'm guessing. I don't get anxiety relief or sedation unless I take a whole days dose (2mg) in one go.
have you had daily amnesia for years or is it just totally gone?
My memory is fine these days as long as I don't smoke weed. And pro-tip for adulting, keep a calendar and notes with reminders to do stuff, it makes life a lot easier.
how do you not do stupid shit? how do you do benzos for 10 years and not get arrested?
I was never prone to crime (such as kleptomania) in the first place. Even in my early usage days when I'd blackout, I wouldn't do anything criminal. If you steal things or do stupid shit when on benzos I think you need to look at yourself, not the drugs.
i think about doing it all the time but i never do it.
And finally... Just DON'T. It's not worth it. You become a slave to benzos. Without them you can die once you're in the hole. I would not still take alprazolam daily if I didn't have an incurable stomach pain that requires a myorelaxant substance to relieve the pain.

Benzos are not a great answer to anxiety. In a pinch? Yeah, great for panic. But daily? No, it's too much trouble.


This was not for anxiety it was combined with donatol for a spastic colon and I tapered off that myself.
Literally how are you getting off clonazepam? I have a spastic colon issue and it's the reason I am prescribed alprazolam. If I try and reduce my dosage, the pain becomes too great for me to eat ANY Food. When it first started I lost over 30lbs in two months until my doctor FINALLY scripted me some alprazolam. I've tried almost every IBS medication there is, none work like a good benzo.
I would love to get people like me that didn’t know addiction and Alzheimer’s is the end game being on this - can sue the Pharma!!!!! I’m truly angry
Huh? There's no concrete proof that benzos cause Alzheimer's. I've looked into this a lot. Statistically, being black or Latino raises your chances of getting Alzheimer's more than daily benzo use does. Lack of exercise, not using your brain (i.e. doing puzzles, reading), and a bad diet are more likely to cause Alzheimer's than benzos. The evidence linking the two is hardly conclusive.

Seriously though, how did you overcome IBS? I'm nearing my third year of treating mine with alprazolam and I don't foresee a day when I'm NOT on benzos...
Did they dish out benzos in the same way they did opiate pain pills?
Nope. They're very hard to obtain in the modern era and I'd argue that there was never a period of over-prescription with benzos. I literally had to doctor shop to get treatment for an incurable disease... not easy IMO.
 
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