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Poetry A Poem called Poem

December Flower

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
1,107
Why should a poem rhyme?
A question supplied by my hands bound in time.
It ties the ship to the tide, switched a switch in my mind,
there's this feeling that I don't have to worry

I do feel sorry, but if memory serves me,
I surfed the surface, and the wind served a purpose,
that hurts the furnace, if the surfer is earnest, but why deny?

I ponder the question, pawned my last superstition,
it doesn't have to rhyme like rosemary and thyme,
just a sword to cut deep where no darkness sees my eyes
 

iTry91

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
289
I'm usually a music does the talking type of person but I am also rhymey lol when I give it a go I think it may stem from my love of rap. Here's a wee one I am just gonna make up just now.
.
It's society that kills/ Can't cure it with a pill/ there's no sense to make of it... But why are we so ill?
You think you need a thrill?/ you better pay your bill/ or you might just become ill/ it's society that kills
 

Hannah Capps

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 29, 2006
Messages
520
Very well done, well written and expressed in rich imagery. It reminds me of those old PC games Mist and Riven in the mid 1990's early 2000's, those games were way a head of their time. I feel like I'm in Riven reading your 'poem' out of one of the books left behind with a TV fizzled out message on a parchment fragment to solve the larger puzzle on another island.
 

December Flower

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
1,107
Very well done, well written and expressed in rich imagery. It reminds me of those old PC games Mist and Riven in the mid 1990's early 2000's, those games were way a head of their time. I feel like I'm in Riven reading your 'poem' out of one of the books left behind with a TV fizzled out message on a parchment fragment to solve the larger puzzle on another island.
Wow that's a very sweet comment.
Thank you very much :)
 

December Flower

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
1,107
I'm usually a music does the talking type of person but I am also rhymey lol when I give it a go I think it may stem from my love of rap. Here's a wee one I am just gonna make up just now.
.
It's society that kills/ Can't cure it with a pill/ there's no sense to make of it... But why are we so ill?
You think you need a thrill?/ you better pay your bill/ or you might just become ill/ it's society that kills
very much in love with rhyming, especially Stabreimen. Bit hard to do in English, let me show you in German

Schlechter Stimmung schwimmt der Schwager, schweift schwebend in stotternder Scham.

don't know how this is called in English, or if it even exists as a stylistic element.
 
Last edited:

iTry91

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
289
I'm sober today and I am cringing at my above 'poetry' I'm sorry hahahaha. I could adapt the lyrics in to a song though...maybe. But lol I'm actually cringing over that. 😅
I'm definitely more of a music describes my emotions best typa person a think.

@December Flower really love your style. I honestly wish I could write like that. Is it natural, have u always enjoyed this? do u practice and got better? I've been trying to craft words for years cause I love music I have ideas but just can't convey them through words. I am good at academic writing though I suppose. Anyways love it keep them coming 😛
 

December Flower

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
1,107
Wow so many nice comments, thank you guys :)
Really means a lot to hear nice things about my work


@December Flower really love your style. I honestly wish I could write like that. Is it natural, have u always enjoyed this? do u practice and got better? I've been trying to craft words for years cause I love music I have ideas but just can't convey them through words. I am good at academic writing though I suppose. Anyways love it keep them coming 😛
I'm not entirely sure, but I've been writing for years. I have a dozen scratchbooks full of words and sketches. I'm a freelance musician, which is why I started writing in English about 16 years ago. I think it's a lot of improvement over time, when I look at older scratchbooks, especially my English sounds quite clumsy.

Your poem just needs a hip hop beat :D Don't beat yourself up.
Gimme a half-step beat and a deep voice rapping this to a heavy bass, and it sounds awesome :)

Anyways, thank you very much1
 

FixXxer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
726
Location
Niagara Falls.
I'm a freelance musician
Could you help me turn some stuff into music? :) I just write, but some of them are written to be songs. I have tried digital programs but I don't play any instruments, or understand music more than what feels right..so its tough to make a beat or anything I like.
 

December Flower

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
1,107
Could you help me turn some stuff into music? :) I just write, but some of them are written to be songs. I have tried digital programs but I don't play any instruments, or understand music more than what feels right..so its tough to make a beat or anything I like.
Sure, I can give you some theory about harmony and rhythm if you want :)
Feel free to PM me with whatever problems you're having, and I'll give it a look
 
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