monster_fallacy
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2016
- Messages
- 1
Preface(meaning you can skip down past this if you hate reading)
This is my first post, I apologize for the length but I'm tweaking on addy right now and very much feel like writing!
(Like for real, this tiny little phenomenon is probably not worth reading all this girth, but I'll still have fun writing it so whatever)
I used to get this every time I did more than my daily dose of Adderall.
Now it only happens after a tolerance break or a dangerously high dosage, (considering I need one or the other to get fucked up anymore).
For me, Adderall is my daily drug. I use about 20-40 mg's everyday to magically transform into a functional member of society (in other words, not a huge pile of shit).
I used to be prescribed Adderall XR, which would do this to me every time, actually, but sucked at everything else.
Anyways, down to the phenomenon that I've been experiencing.
This is very weird and specific thing.
I'm wondering if anyone can relate to any part of this reoccurring event.
--------
What Happens to Me
I don't know what to call it, so I'll just describe it.
It's always after the peak.
At this point my motivation and energy start to simmer down, but my heart and organs still have that lovely "elevated" feeling that adderall gives.
I become very zoned out. Staring blankly at nothing, zoned out. I'll want to lie down and close my eyes.
It feels like my brain is definitely working, but I'm not sure what it's actually doing because I'm not having any thoughts at all, and moving at all seems like a lot of effort.
This part is difficult to explain properly because I've truly never felt anything like it, but I'll try my best to describe it.
My brain is still definitely working, I feel figurative gears turning and grinding, but on what I'm still not sure.
Despite feeling like there is the equivalent of a factory in my brain, my mind is completely blank. It's actually astonishing how truly empty my thoughts are.
It's almost like said factory is hidden by a curtain, and although behind it I can feel a lot of work is being done, in front of it, where I am, is nothing but empty space.
Sometimes, while my mind is simultaneously working vigorously and also totally doing nothing at all, my leg or foot will want to shake or bounce.
When I allow them to, it's a very automatic thing. I don't feel like I'm actually doing it. It just happens.
It's incredibly hypnotic, the rhythm of it, in tune with my zoned out brain. This is the first stage of the brief meditative state I fall into.
The next stage might actually just be me being "half asleep". At this point, my mind feels so zen that I actually don't know if I'm asleep or awake. But, after what feels like a long time, I "wake up".
Almost exactly, every time, 15 minutes is all that has passed. It's weird how close it always is to 15 minutes exactly.
After "waking", I don't feel zoned out or dead, and am now just at my normal state. Sometimes I'll get irritable later, but for the most part, this tiny meditative "nap" gets rid of my crash.
With Adderall XR, this would happen like clockwork everyday. It was very odd how exact it became, like a ritual for me.
It happens at almost exactly 9 hrs for XR, but after 6 hrs elapsed for the non XR.
----------------
Thanks for reading :^)
Does anybody else have anything similar happen?
This is my first post, I apologize for the length but I'm tweaking on addy right now and very much feel like writing!
(Like for real, this tiny little phenomenon is probably not worth reading all this girth, but I'll still have fun writing it so whatever)
I used to get this every time I did more than my daily dose of Adderall.
Now it only happens after a tolerance break or a dangerously high dosage, (considering I need one or the other to get fucked up anymore).
For me, Adderall is my daily drug. I use about 20-40 mg's everyday to magically transform into a functional member of society (in other words, not a huge pile of shit).
I used to be prescribed Adderall XR, which would do this to me every time, actually, but sucked at everything else.
Anyways, down to the phenomenon that I've been experiencing.
This is very weird and specific thing.
I'm wondering if anyone can relate to any part of this reoccurring event.
--------
What Happens to Me
I don't know what to call it, so I'll just describe it.
It's always after the peak.
At this point my motivation and energy start to simmer down, but my heart and organs still have that lovely "elevated" feeling that adderall gives.
I become very zoned out. Staring blankly at nothing, zoned out. I'll want to lie down and close my eyes.
It feels like my brain is definitely working, but I'm not sure what it's actually doing because I'm not having any thoughts at all, and moving at all seems like a lot of effort.
This part is difficult to explain properly because I've truly never felt anything like it, but I'll try my best to describe it.
My brain is still definitely working, I feel figurative gears turning and grinding, but on what I'm still not sure.
Despite feeling like there is the equivalent of a factory in my brain, my mind is completely blank. It's actually astonishing how truly empty my thoughts are.
It's almost like said factory is hidden by a curtain, and although behind it I can feel a lot of work is being done, in front of it, where I am, is nothing but empty space.
Sometimes, while my mind is simultaneously working vigorously and also totally doing nothing at all, my leg or foot will want to shake or bounce.
When I allow them to, it's a very automatic thing. I don't feel like I'm actually doing it. It just happens.
It's incredibly hypnotic, the rhythm of it, in tune with my zoned out brain. This is the first stage of the brief meditative state I fall into.
The next stage might actually just be me being "half asleep". At this point, my mind feels so zen that I actually don't know if I'm asleep or awake. But, after what feels like a long time, I "wake up".
Almost exactly, every time, 15 minutes is all that has passed. It's weird how close it always is to 15 minutes exactly.
After "waking", I don't feel zoned out or dead, and am now just at my normal state. Sometimes I'll get irritable later, but for the most part, this tiny meditative "nap" gets rid of my crash.
With Adderall XR, this would happen like clockwork everyday. It was very odd how exact it became, like a ritual for me.
It happens at almost exactly 9 hrs for XR, but after 6 hrs elapsed for the non XR.
----------------
Thanks for reading :^)
Does anybody else have anything similar happen?
