Bupe 6 weeks on suboxone - still uncomfortable

[Bretting]

I?ve been on and off heroin for about 2 years. 6 weeks ago was the first time it was 100% my decision to get off and without a rehab or detox facility. I was an IV user and at the end I was trying to limit myself to 4 shots a day (because I was planning to get off of it), but it still ended up being about a gram a day (shooting quarters generally). My parents stayed with me I my apartment for the detox. I waited about 24 hours or so until I was in serious withdrawals before taking suboxone. It had no effect. The first 3 days I was in full blown withdrawals and the suboxone didn?t seem to help. I have taken it before and it has helped during the induction, but this time it did not. I started off with low amounts like 2mg at a time but moved on to taking 32mg a day since lower amounts were not working. That also did not help. Since the subs had no noticeable effect, my mother gave me large doses of Rick Simpson oil. Basically concentrated cannabis oil some people use for cancer treatment. Amazingly, I slept during some of those 3 days (never slept a second in withdrawals before) and the whole thing is kind of a blur.


After 3 days, I started to stabilize somewhat on the suboxone. I still felt terrible, only sat in the recliner and watched tv all day, and could definitely not work (I have a physical job). The marijuana oil helped me sleep but I personally hate marijuana?s and find it very unpleasant so I stopped using it (my sleep is better anyway). I started taking around 24mg of suboxone everyday. Still very uncomfortable but no longer in full blown withdrawals.


After a few more days, I lowered the dose and started working again (but with assistance so I didn?t have to carry things). About one week on suboxone I was taking maybe 16 mg a day and I actually felt good for a couple days. Then I started to feel worse and worse. I tried upping the dose but it did not help. I tried lowering but that did not help either, though it wasn?t worse.


I stuck with 8-12 mg a day since that wasn?t any worse. Since I felt like suboxone was basically keeping me in withdrawals, I figured I should get off it and start tapering. So recently I?ve been doing 2-4 mg a day and things have not really changed. Some days I feel worse and some days a little bit better, seemingly independent of the dose.


Sorry I know it?s a long wall of text. I?ll try to sum it up here.


So here?s basically the situation. Whatever the dose, I still have bad body aches, back pain, muscles hurt to flex, low energy, irritability, cravings, slight shakiness, and stomach pain. I also sweat tsunamis. I put a shirt on right after a shower and feel like I have to change it 10 minutes later. I also have experienced sleep paralysis multiple times. Simple things like showering, hygiene, putting on clothes (I?m very immobile because of the aches and pains), even getting out of bed takes at least an hour to muster up the energy.


Honestly, I have hated every day since I stopped heroin 6 weeks ago. That is really hard to tolerate for 6 weeks when it seems like I should be feeling better and I know how to make it all go away (at least temporarily).


The point of suboxone is to take away withdrawals (and the ability to use heroin) so that you don?t have cravings. That is not happening for me. I?ve tried to just stop taking it but I simply cannot work like that. I have work for another 2 weeks, so if I don?t figure anything out, I may just try cold turkey at that point though it will be hard. The doctor told me to just cold turkey and get through it because it?s ?just a matter of willpower.?


I went to an ER (this particular one was recommended to me) they basically turned me away because my life is not in danger (despite relapse OD potential) and my insurance doesn?t cover their detox. I don?t need someone to hand me suboxone anyway, unless they?ll taper me with methadone or some other full agonist.


So that?s pretty much it.


Anybody had a similar experience or any advice? I?d greatly appreciate it.

 

[g0to]

That's just how it is.. your habit was large and isn't being fully covered by Suboxone.. seems you're getting through it okay tho. Just keep persevering try to hit some type of stride and then begin your sub taper (posts about it on here). Alot of ppl will say go on methadone because it will hold you, but you've made it this far already so..

Cold turkeying from 24mg sub, while not as painful as kicking heroin CT, will keep you in mild wd for months before finally subsiding and there will still be a base level of withdrawal symptoms after that that come back in waves.. this is my experience with subs at least. That thought of "holy fuck this feels terrible and is getting worse and there's not an end in sight" one might have with heroin wd, well it's still there in sub wd except it lasts alot longer and more drawn out. With the h at least there is some type of end in sight, the wd symptoms break and progressively get better.

The good thing about subs is they're cheaper than h, longer lasting, not as conducive to abuse as h and they also make h stop working as effectively. They're not a magic bullet by any means.

Someone on here will probably have better advice but my advice to you is just stay on the subs and they eventually will start working better but as soon as you're at a place you'd deem "normal" or stable, start tapering off of them. Take a full panel blood test to make sure it's not something with your health besides the wd that's making you feel like shit, that the h was masking but the subs aren't strong enough to mask.