6 months pregnant n need help.

ThatAmazinChick

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 18, 2017
Messages
24
Location
Nowhere in the United States...or is it..?
So I'm almost six months pregnant and the father of the baby life has fallen apart. He already has a five year son with the prior girlfriend of his. So I feel like he didn't doesn't see or feel the way I do bout our son who I am pregnant with currently... But he decided that financially we are incapable of being able to raise our son well and give him the life he deserves at all and we should let my brother and his wife adopt him and raise him for us. Prior to the most recent events he acted like we are for sure keeping him and doing this together and blah.... Idk what happened honestly... I know he has cheated on me with the first kids mother in the last year multiple times. I feel he still has very strong emotional feelings for her yet. I may be wrong tho. And he does have prior drug issues too. Right now I'm on probation and have a felony till April of 2020 and am limited to with jobs cause of complications with the pregnancy and can't do anything with to much physical activity including standing or sitting up for periods of time. This is my very first child. And I have grown so attached to him of course more so then I ever realized i would. I have no family that cause help support me temporarily or even help me find a new home and help me move. I don't want to lose my son. I feel like I'm up against a wall and have no way to keep him and actually be able to raise himself myself. I don't even have a running vehicle anymore due to my boyfriend claiming he was excellent machanic and that turned out to be an outright lie n ended up murdering my vehicle when I was not home and I have no money in the bank and blah.... I just need some advice or some opinions from a non basis party... Honest answers please....
 

Foreigner

Bluelight Crew
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Mar 18, 2009
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6,517
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The Cosmos
Honest answers? Are you sure you want honesty? Ok...

You chose a lying deadbeat with a sordid history to sire a child with, a deadbeat with a track record of being unreliable and unfaithful. You let him convince you in a moment of connection between you two that his whole history doesn't matter and that he would miraculously and instantly change his ways. He is to blame and so are you.

You created a life without any stability in your own. You can't get solid work to provide financially for a child and you can't even really take care of yourself. You have no support network to care for a child. You have a criminal record which in the United States means you will be limited for the rest of your life.

What kind of advice do you want? You are not equipped to raise a child. You're in the United States. You're past the abortion deadline, so other than adoption, the best you can do is get on some kind of government assistance to get tax payers to pay your way so you can try and raise this child that you aren't in any way prepared to raise.

I'm sorry to sound harsh but I am thinking of this unborn child. You are possibly bringing a baby into awful circumstances.

If more people took responsibility and didn't have kids before they were ready, the world would be a better place. You need to put aside all of your selfish desires and think about if this kid is going to be entering the world with the best leg up in life, or are you condemning them to a life of misery and institutions? Because to me, it sounds like the latter.

I have cousins who went through the adoption system. Even though they were lucky, they still went through foster hell. Orphanages are hell holes and full of neglect. Statistically, children who are raised in the orphanage and foster systems come out with addictions, learning disabilities and other mental health problems because they suffer routine neglect. They can't possibly get proper care in them. The only hope through adoption is that you find an agency that will pair you with a family IMMEDIATELY so that your baby goes from being born to their arms. That is the only realistic chance of a happy life for this baby... but there are not enough parents adopting vs. the number of children that need homes. Babies have the highest chance, but it's still not foolproof. Babies that are white and male have the highest chances in the United States because it's still a very racist country. If you want more info, you should go to an adoption agency and get more info. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go to a religious based adoption agency. They are fucked. Find one that is non-denominational and get more info.
 

garym

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 9, 2018
Messages
96
Location
UK
jesus, wreck the poor girl's head much ??? she needs help. the guy that knocked her up sounds like a reet tool. all i can say though is that hopefully the state will help her.
 

nuttynutskin

Bluelighter
Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
8,084
What would you like me to say? Keep doing drugs and not being responsible for your kid?

Just because you're in a hard place doesn't mean you can't do the right thing.
 

Xorkoth

Sr. Mod: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
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Feb 8, 2006
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39,229
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Shadowmeister v0
I'm sorry you're in this situation. Actually you never mentioned whether or not you're taking drugs. If you are, you definitely need to stop for the sake of your child. It does sound like having a stable family member adopt the baby would be the best possible outcome, considering you don't have the means to support the child. You have to think about what's best for the baby.

Also, my strong advice is to get away from this guy if you can. He sounds like a shitbag who's going to keep dragging you down.

Again I'm sorry, I know this must be really hard. <3 Just do what's best for your child. That's probably adoption. And if your brother and his wife raise him, then you can even still be a part of his life. Children need a stable environment, so above all else that's what you need to give him.
 

leet

👑 Gamesmaster 👑
Joined
Aug 10, 2008
Messages
940
Location
A wretched hive of scum and villainy
Do your best to hold onto your baby. It is going to be hard, perhaps your brother can support you in doing this in a less formal manner than adoption? Try and keep your son. Ditch the loser now, he sounds toxic and will not improve, he's dragging you down and will not be a positive influence on the child. The baby is the most important thing in your life now and possibly the best thing you have done so far, fight to keep him, I'm sure your brother will help, especially if you ditch the bum.
 

Phobos

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 5, 2010
Messages
1,271
jesus, wreck the poor girl's head much ??? she needs help. the guy that knocked her up sounds like a reet tool. all i can say though is that hopefully the state will help her.
USA is not like the UK regarding benefits.
 

Shady's Fox

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jul 12, 2017
Messages
2,004
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Palm trees & sea, just walkin along the beach.
How can you beat a pregnant woman? I would make him eat his teeths and the Adam's Apple, maybe I understood something wrong from what Gary said and I hope so, anyway what are the news, did you managed to improve something? Did you talk to your brother?

Get rid of that fuckin piece of shit you are with, he's too toxic.
 

Zopiclone bandit

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 25, 2018
Messages
3,704
Honest answers? Are you sure you want honesty? Ok...

You chose a lying deadbeat with a sordid history to sire a child with, a deadbeat with a track record of being unreliable and unfaithful. You let him convince you in a moment of connection between you two that his whole history doesn't matter and that he would miraculously and instantly change his ways. He is to blame and so are you.

You created a life without any stability in your own. You can't get solid work to provide financially for a child and you can't even really take care of yourself. You have no support network to care for a child. You have a criminal record which in the United States means you will be limited for the rest of your life.

What kind of advice do you want? You are not equipped to raise a child. You're in the United States. You're past the abortion deadline, so other than adoption, the best you can do is get on some kind of government assistance to get tax payers to pay your way so you can try and raise this child that you aren't in any way prepared to raise.

I'm sorry to sound harsh but I am thinking of this unborn child. You are possibly bringing a baby into awful circumstances.

If more people took responsibility and didn't have kids before they were ready, the world would be a better place. You need to put aside all of your selfish desires and think about if this kid is going to be entering the world with the best leg up in life, or are you condemning them to a life of misery and institutions? Because to me, it sounds like the latter.
This 100%
 
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