jhjhsdi
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2010
- Messages
- 5,635
Ok so been struggling with sleep again recently and getting into a good sleeping pattern for work as I have a new job. I asked a friend to bring me a couple blue Diazepam and a zopiclone to help me force a good early night. Then I changed my mind and said no no, bring me 1 diazepam and 2 zopiclone. He drove to me and handed me a tobacco pouch with a concealed bag inside and drove off. When I got in an opened it there was;
1 x whole blue diazepam, loose, unmarked, pellet size.
2 just-over half chunks of same stuff.
4 x 5mg diazepam in a strip cut off. Actavis.
4 x 3.75mg zopis also in strip. Also Actavis.
Guess he was feeling generous.
I didn't want this much it's way too much for one night without fear of getting out bed blacked out and doing something stupid which I can not afford to do where I'm staying atm. BUT I reallllly don't want to have anything left in the morning. Maybe a couple zopis hanging around would be OK because I hate them and would never take them in the day. But I'd already started thinking hmm I'll take the blues and save the yellows and take 1 before work each day - NO!
No fucking way mate. You're either taking them all tonight or throwing away what you don't. Not sure who here knows my history but I had a savage benzo addiction that nearly killed me when I stopped 4 or 5 years ago and have only touched them 3 or 4 times since then in doses up to I think 20mg diaz.
I used to take 400mg Diaz/20mg Xanax equivalent a day, of multiple different benzos. I just want a good sleep. I don't want to use them to get high. I thought the 10mg Diaz would ease me nicely into the zopiclone sleep and maybe even put me to sleep before that disgusting metallic taste kicked in and the zopis hold me asleep until the morning.
1.57am
I took the blues sublingually, dissolved quicker with some diet coke. This is definitely NOT diazepam and tastes EXACTLY as I remember a Xanax to - fucking disgusting! Make you screw your face up and gurn your jaw sucking air in and shuddering. Taste is very hard to get rid of.
2.04am
The taste is still lingering badly. Knew I should have swallowed those blues. Might put 5mg of the legit diazepam under my tounge to try help cover it up.
2.22am.
So if those dodgy blues are 1mg Xanax each then I've had roughly 40mg diazepam, taking another 20mg at once is probably going to black me the fuck out and I don't want that. And it's not like I can safely take 1 wait 15 take another repeat with all 4 because by the time you realise you're fucked and you should stop or go to bed it's too late and I have the tendency to walk around blacked out n do stupid shit on them instead of jus going to sleep. I think I'll take the 4 zopiclone next. 15mg isn't a big dose right? Even with no tolerance. I swear I used to get the 7.5mg tabs and take like 5 at once. If that metal taste kicks in I'm going to hate myself.
In fact I might not even bother. I've got some valerian root pills I'm going to take them and see if they combine with the 2 blues before I take anything else. I hope I'm strong enough to just give him the 4 yellows and 4 zopis back. Or might flush them. Come on willpower.
Kind of a pointless post but I'm bored lol. Was thinking I'd write a kind of live trip report but na.
2.27am.
Am going to take 4 valerian root pills have a cigarette and get into bed.
Goodnight bluelight. I need to be up at 10am.
Mods please post in the right place for me. TRs? The what was your nightcap thread? The lounge? I'm really not sure.
Edit: spelling and punctuation
Double edit;
2.39am fuck it, Yolo as the kids say, taking 5mg Diaz and 3.75mg of zopi orally alongside the valerian root. For a 100% send off without the risk of blackout.
I'll update with how I slept in the morning. Or if I do anything stupid *fingers crossed I just stay in bed* lol
1 x whole blue diazepam, loose, unmarked, pellet size.
2 just-over half chunks of same stuff.
4 x 5mg diazepam in a strip cut off. Actavis.
4 x 3.75mg zopis also in strip. Also Actavis.
Guess he was feeling generous.
I didn't want this much it's way too much for one night without fear of getting out bed blacked out and doing something stupid which I can not afford to do where I'm staying atm. BUT I reallllly don't want to have anything left in the morning. Maybe a couple zopis hanging around would be OK because I hate them and would never take them in the day. But I'd already started thinking hmm I'll take the blues and save the yellows and take 1 before work each day - NO!
No fucking way mate. You're either taking them all tonight or throwing away what you don't. Not sure who here knows my history but I had a savage benzo addiction that nearly killed me when I stopped 4 or 5 years ago and have only touched them 3 or 4 times since then in doses up to I think 20mg diaz.
I used to take 400mg Diaz/20mg Xanax equivalent a day, of multiple different benzos. I just want a good sleep. I don't want to use them to get high. I thought the 10mg Diaz would ease me nicely into the zopiclone sleep and maybe even put me to sleep before that disgusting metallic taste kicked in and the zopis hold me asleep until the morning.
1.57am
I took the blues sublingually, dissolved quicker with some diet coke. This is definitely NOT diazepam and tastes EXACTLY as I remember a Xanax to - fucking disgusting! Make you screw your face up and gurn your jaw sucking air in and shuddering. Taste is very hard to get rid of.
2.04am
The taste is still lingering badly. Knew I should have swallowed those blues. Might put 5mg of the legit diazepam under my tounge to try help cover it up.
2.22am.
So if those dodgy blues are 1mg Xanax each then I've had roughly 40mg diazepam, taking another 20mg at once is probably going to black me the fuck out and I don't want that. And it's not like I can safely take 1 wait 15 take another repeat with all 4 because by the time you realise you're fucked and you should stop or go to bed it's too late and I have the tendency to walk around blacked out n do stupid shit on them instead of jus going to sleep. I think I'll take the 4 zopiclone next. 15mg isn't a big dose right? Even with no tolerance. I swear I used to get the 7.5mg tabs and take like 5 at once. If that metal taste kicks in I'm going to hate myself.
In fact I might not even bother. I've got some valerian root pills I'm going to take them and see if they combine with the 2 blues before I take anything else. I hope I'm strong enough to just give him the 4 yellows and 4 zopis back. Or might flush them. Come on willpower.
Kind of a pointless post but I'm bored lol. Was thinking I'd write a kind of live trip report but na.
2.27am.
Am going to take 4 valerian root pills have a cigarette and get into bed.
Goodnight bluelight. I need to be up at 10am.
Mods please post in the right place for me. TRs? The what was your nightcap thread? The lounge? I'm really not sure.
Edit: spelling and punctuation
Double edit;
2.39am fuck it, Yolo as the kids say, taking 5mg Diaz and 3.75mg of zopi orally alongside the valerian root. For a 100% send off without the risk of blackout.
I'll update with how I slept in the morning. Or if I do anything stupid *fingers crossed I just stay in bed* lol
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