somni i'm so sorry you're struggling. are you in a situation where you can something from a doctor to help you sleep? sleep was always such a massive thing making it hard for me to stop, even back in the day when i was just trying to quit weed. i was lucky in rehab i got zopis cos i'd brought in a recent script so they had to give it to me, even then they wouldn't give it me too often. personally, persistent lack of sleep will drive me to do literally anything. luckily until recently when i've been waking up early and through the night, which is exhausting now, my sleep has been good since i just decided to face some pain and force myself not to use sleeping pills for a week. that was over 3 months clean though, so i know i had it easier than you at 12 days in.
CATINTHEHAT i would be interested to know why you think NA can actively hinder people? what little research there is is positive. it couldn't get me clean but its really helped me stay clean. i think its a uk vs north america thing, but its not madly religious here,
AFAIK there's no evidential base to suggest that 12-step programs are any more effective at helping people recover than any other form of treatment or a placebo.
One of my main issues with 12 step programs is their black and white definition of what an addict is. The entirety of their program is based around the idea that there is this black and white division between an 'addict' and a 'normal' person. Their belief is that if you are an addict then you have no ability to control your using whatsoever and that if you have that first use up then you will surely go full blown shortly after, and that if you don't use in that manner then you're not an addict, not one of them and their program isn't for you. I find this philosophy be both blatantly inaccurate and also something that stands in the way of many people getting help.
If you ask people to define themselves in this black and white way then naturally the first thing that people do is go on an existential journey trying to work out whether they're an addict or not. A certain proportion of people will just say that's not me and turn away, a certain proportion of people will say yes that's me and submit, but the vast majority will be left questioning on which side of the line they fall and for some people this is a conflict in their mind that is NEVER really resolved. You can see then that for the majority of people going there for help, the first thing they're going to do is not start to formulate a plan for how they're going to recover or solve their problems but start fighting with themselves over whether they are an addict. So now we have this absurd situation whereby someone that was so desperate for help that they've attended an NA meeting is questioning whether they're ill enough to warrant asking these people for help or whether they fit in.
This situation is a disgrace, the only questions people should have to ask themselves when they first go to a group and ask for help are 'do I have a relationship with drugs that is affecting my life in a negative manner which I feel unable to control' and 'do you want help with trying to recover from that situation and lead a more healthy life'? If these were the qualifications for involvement then practically every person who walked through their doors would say yes that's me and immediately feel included and like they were in the right place to receive help. Instead we have this absurd situation whereby people have to go on this huge philosophical journey (whilst they're at their most vulnerable and least likely to be thinking straight) just to be able to allow themselves to commit to receiving help. It's absolute nonsense.
Now everything within the 12-step program everything that you will be taught derives from this black and white idea of addict/not an addict, we could go on and unpick pretty much the entire program because it's built on this horrendously shaky ground, but that's a discussion for another day. There are many other reasons why I believe 12-step can hinder people as much as help them, but I see this core ideological fallacy as being the main offender in terms of 12-step programs hindering people from receiving help. I bet you went through the same process of asking yourself whether you're an addict and whether you fitted in with this group.
You mention religion as usually this is the thing that people assume is preventing people from getting on board with the program and yes this is also one of the (many) other issues with their beliefs. Of course anyone who isn't completely delusional will agree that religion shouldn't have any place in medical treatments whatsoever, that is some primitive medieval shit and the fact that governmental medical agencies will funnel you towards a program that has religion at it's core is also a disgrace. It's unbelievably lazy and reeks of not-giving a shit, imagine if you had diabetes and the doctor sent you to a group and said oh yeah the core of their believe is that you just pray to God that you'll get better. People would be outraged.
So that's basically the core of why I believe 12-step programs actually hinder a lot of people from getting help. I'm not saying they're 100% bad and that there's nothing good to be learned there, but I am saying that on balance they're not any more effective than placebo effect and that actually for a significant chunk of the population seeking help they actually slow that process down. That 12-steps is basically the only answer the mainstream medical community has to addiction is madness, can you imagine if that was the process for any other form of treatment? People wouldn't swallow that bullshit, but people who have a problem with drugs will because they're lonely, desperate, not thinking straight and scared.
I actually get quite angry thinking about this. One day when I'm stronger I'm going to do something about this bullshit situation whereby we have doctors sending away people who desperately need help to pray to god that they will get better. It's a disgrace.
unfortunately until I start getting steady paychecks I won't be able to get anything from a doctor. If I could it would probably be a game changer. At my age and with my usage history my recovery periods are becoming extremely long and horrendous. I have done some serious damage to my brain after over 20yrs of heroin addiction, benzo addiction and my past crack abuse. I Have gone through serious abuse of just about every major drug at one time or another during my drug using career. I especially did a number on myself during my late teen years with MDMA. I know the consequences of using have given me PTSD from all the totalled vehicles, being robbed at gunpoint and having my girlfriend die next to me in bed. I wish more people had a little compassion. Anybody that has heard me talk a little about my story knows I have been through hell. 
