• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

⫸STICKY⫷ 🕯 A Special Shrine For the Unknown Bluelighter 🕯

SKL

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
14,647
A SPECIAL SHRINE

FOR THE UNKNOWN BLUELIGHTER




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Just as anyone who's been here some time has made and lost friends, and knew people who are now remembered in this special, sacred space on our site, we have also all had friends on this site who've fallen out of touch, and as a community likewise have members who've unexpectedly dropped out over the years.

Quite often it's because their interests have simply taken them elsewhere, or they've quit drugs or lessened the intensity of their interests such as they'd want to be on a web forum about them, or they are incarcerated, or just don't feel like it anymore. We have a had a great ongoing thread, or series of threads, in the Lounge, and now, still active here, in The Lounge, where we can ask after our old friends from fellow members of the community and hopefully get a response as to how they're doing. Quite often it works, and we know what's happened to our friends with whom we've lost touch, or even get in touch again.


Sometimes it doesn't; sometimes for all our individual and collective efforts, we don't know what happened.

Sometimes we fear the worst, and some times, the worst will be true.

And we may never know.

This is a Shrine post for the ones that we don't know about; Bluelighters who have passed on and left a digital legacy and also one of human connection with ourselves, but who disappeared due to having passed on, without confirmation; leaving us with the unknown. It is in an inevitability that there are a number of them which by it's very nature can't be determined; there are times that the rather grim phrase of Tom Waits, Everyone that I used to know is either dead or in prison, comes to my mind. Some of them we may feel like we can feel fairly sure about—I definitely do about some, given the shape that they were in, but then again, for all I know, they could've taken an entirely different turn—and I dearly hope so, and sometimes this winds up being the case, likewise some people who we would think it unbelievable that they'd pass on (just as it was for some of those who we lost in 2016.)

This is for them, the ones that we can't name; or feel like we know in our hearts, and have no proof.

We don't, and can't, know how many of you are, or exactly who you are, but there must be many, from people who were barely known here to some fairly well known names who just up and disappeared, who did so because they shuffled off the mortal coil. This is for you, whether you were a Greenlighter or an Administrator, here for a week or for years, if your fate is unknown to us and wound up being to lose your life without us being able to know, you were still a part of our community, and there is still a hole here left by your absence.

Post your remembrances of the unconfirmed, or pay your respects generally, to the Bluelight Unknowns, here.
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Please don't use this as a place for speculation or use names of any kind (they would be either speculatory or would deserve their own thread.) If you want to post an anonymous remembrance or thoughts in general about our losses, known and unknown, this is the place, but this is for the "unknown 'almost'-knowns" and "keenly felts" I guess; otherwise, this is just a general remembrance.
 
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My brother, you were one of my first, and fast, friends here; one of the first Bluelighters I met IRL; you taught me a lot about some of the darker and more hidden parts of the scene that we were both in. We shared a passion for a lot of the same drugs, the same music, the same lifestyle and some of the same ideals; including the same sort of romanticized self-destruction. Neither I nor any mutual friends that I know of have been able to reach you, it's getting closer and closer to ten years now, never saw you or bumped into you at a show or knew anyone who did. Your departure from Bluelight wasn't in the best light, but we remained in brotherly touch for a while, and I know you were in a bad, bad place when you suddenly disappeared from our radar.

My sincere hope is that you got out of it and just decided fuck us as a bad influence or wrote us off as one chapter or whatever, and maybe even got into some kind of recovery, which you'd tried in the past, or, even, in some extremely relative way, that you're locked up, but in my heart I think you're lost to us and that you've passed on in one way or another. I was far, far less cynical at the time, but I will say it as we did then, <3 Love & Light, Fam, wherever you are. I hope somehow you see this (I'm sure you'll know exactly who you are) and either know we're thinking of you and the feeling is still there; and most of all I hope I'm wrong.

And for the rest of you, some of whom I'm sure if talked to, or even broken bread with, and even those with whom I haven't, our lives intersected in a very particular way in this very special community; and even if it's unknown to me, even if you were unknown to me, your passing leaves a void here. You are missed and loved.
 
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Amen, bro. Solemn and bittersweet, and in memory of all the late Bluelight Unknowns, peace be yours.
 
Danny I never knew your BL name. But in real life you were like a brother... Miss you everyday. <3 1 1/2 years... Xx - NW
 
For all the Bluelight Unknowns, rest in peace and let peace be with your souls
 
42069;14119282]For all the Bluelight Unknowns, rest in peace and let peace be with your souls[/QUOTE]
R.I.P my dear friend, KJ
 
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My brother, you were one of my first, and fast, friends here; one of the first Bluelighters I met IRL; you taught me a lot about some of the darker and more hidden parts of the scene that we were both in. We shared a passion for a lot of the same drugs, the same music, the same lifestyle and some of the same ideals; including the same sort of romanticized self-destruction. Neither I nor any mutual friends that I know of have been able to reach you, it's getting closer and closer to ten years now, never saw you or bumped into you at a show or knew anyone who did. Your departure from Bluelight wasn't in the best light, but we remained in brotherly touch for a while, and I know you were in a bad, bad place when you suddenly disappeared from our radar.

My sincere hope is that you got out of it and just decided fuck us as a bad influence or wrote us off as one chapter or whatever, and maybe even got into some kind of recovery, which you'd tried in the past, or, even, in some extremely relative way, that you're locked up, but in my heart I think you're lost to us and that you've passed on in one way or another. I was far, far less cynical at the time, but I will say it as we did then, <3 Love & Light, Fam, wherever you are. I hope somehow you see this (I'm sure you'll know exactly who you are) and either know we're thinking of you and the feeling is still there; and most of all I hope I'm wrong.

And for the rest of you, some of whom I'm sure if talked to, or even broken bread with, and even those with whom I haven't, our lives intersected in a very particular way in this very special community; and even if it's unknown to me, even if you were unknown to me, your passing leaves a void here. You are missed and loved.

That was fuckin' beautiful, dogg.

Rest in paradise, all the lost souls that've touched this forum, whether we interacted or not. Whether we were cool or not. Fuck that petty shit. May the angels let you fly.

Peace. Love. Unity. Respect.
 
I have received much good advice from this site and i have nothing but the deepest respect for those bluelighters which have passed on. RIP and thanks for caring enough to be a part of this community.
 
RIP Jason:
I do not know if you where ever on this sight ( but with your DOC and dangerous levels of use. may have been) so sorry that you never got the Harm reduction you needed!
Died with a needle in his arm in his mothers bath room getting ready to go out to a nice dinner !! Only 25 so so fuckin sad
 
We don't have to sit idle and passively morn.

 
RIP my friend you're still the only person I'm sure I've met from BL. I keep wanting to go visit your mother but I keep putting it off. I miss my hiking buddy. This is the only picture I have of him from our hikes. I lost the original.
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My 20-yr-old nephew lurked here. I'm not even sure if he had an account - he wasn't one to comment. He told me about this place. He died by purposeful heroin overdose on July 22. I found him.

This may sound strange given the context, but I'm glad this place exists. He'd been battling mental illness, addiction and occasional homelessness for a few years and had researched how to end things many times. He researched what a heroin overdose was like here - I know because he saved screenshots with pertinent details highlighted. We'd been getting him mental health treatment for the first time, and he had a spot in a rehab he was excited about - until he wasn't. Long story short, he decided not to go about halfway through our trip there, opting instead to buy a tent and live rough until he could execute his plan, which was to rent a PO box, get heroin delivered, and go on a whopping bender ending with a purposeful OD. He did exactly that. I feel grateful that he at least came to me the day he died and the last words we exchanged were loving ones. He set up his tent in the park across the street from my apartment and we made plans for morning coffee... but he was dead when I got there, and had been for a few hours at least.

I'm glad this place exists because if he was going to do this, he was able to find information that put his mind at ease about it. Heroin is a pretty good way to go, as I understand it.

I'm also glad this place exists because people who use drugs are often looked down on and not given community, and I think that's shitty. I'm glad you're all here for one another. That's why I wanted to post about my nephew. It may not sound like it given the outcome but this place was a help to him and I appreciate it.
 
My 20-yr-old nephew lurked here. I'm not even sure if he had an account - he wasn't one to comment. He told me about this place. He died by purposeful heroin overdose on July 22. I found him.

This may sound strange given the context, but I'm glad this place exists. He'd been battling mental illness, addiction and occasional homelessness for a few years and had researched how to end things many times. He researched what a heroin overdose was like here - I know because he saved screenshots with pertinent details highlighted. We'd been getting him mental health treatment for the first time, and he had a spot in a rehab he was excited about - until he wasn't. Long story short, he decided not to go about halfway through our trip there, opting instead to buy a tent and live rough until he could execute his plan, which was to rent a PO box, get heroin delivered, and go on a whopping bender ending with a purposeful OD. He did exactly that. I feel grateful that he at least came to me the day he died and the last words we exchanged were loving ones. He set up his tent in the park across the street from my apartment and we made plans for morning coffee... but he was dead when I got there, and had been for a few hours at least.

I'm glad this place exists because if he was going to do this, he was able to find information that put his mind at ease about it. Heroin is a pretty good way to go, as I understand it.

I'm also glad this place exists because people who use drugs are often looked down on and not given community, and I think that's shitty. I'm glad you're all here for one another. That's why I wanted to post about my nephew. It may not sound like it given the outcome but this place was a help to him and I appreciate it.

I'm sorry we couldn't do more. People with mental health issues often turn to 'drugs' for self-medication and not to get high. So many people do not understand that.

I'm sure I speak for us all when I say - we do care.
 
I have friends and people I went to school with who died from overdoses who I am almost certain were on here especially the one friend who loved MDMA/MDXX drugs, and going to raves, the other loved new wave and synth pop, and the rest would go on the internet to find out information about drugs, but I don't know their usernames so I will type out their name and last initial instead rest in peace Nate T., Chris B, Ed L., Mike T., Andrew B., Ryan R., Luke D., Tom E., and Ronnie D. You are all loved and missed.
 
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