💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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Shady's Fox said:
Destroy my belongings, make yourself at home
Break the thoughts that will send you to sleep
Shutdown my thoughts that doesn't let me fall asleep
Gather your rows that doesn't let me pour
Hide my free will and go but leave without trace
Take my helplessness and give me back the zest of world
Wipe your tears and let's talk about currency
Kill my past and my desire for compassion
And now shut up, I don't like to talk for the sake of talking.
Be careful what you say today, here the paraskeets end up sliced by knives.
Let me enjoy my coffee, lost like a ship with painted veins
I want a sewing machine, rumpled stories
Am not afraid to say it, I wrote on machete's like Puskin
With my feet on ground, I didn't dream rockets like Russians did
And I would say hurtful things but my consciousness doesn't let me
Do what you want, fullfil my desire and if you don't have a clean conscious do your time
Don't belive in stories, here the wolf eats the Little Red Riding Hood
I am happy with what I have, I still enjoy pizza
These lines hurts my pen...
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I should write the other side too..
 
Blowmonkey said:
Sounds like time to take a dab tbh.
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I'm afraid you're right

but also that I blew through too much drugs and it hurts
like I CANNOT SLEEP
i CANNOT RELAX
i CANNOT UNWIND naturally
my mind is OVERLY MANIC
and it's painfully delicious
life is beautiful suffering and then you die which can be beautiful too if you choose to see/perceive it that way
i don't choose to hate my mortal existence
i choose to just hate existence and enjoy the mortal nature of it
the impermanence, she bleeds through us all

my instinct is to cut myself or start gnawing at my own flesh or tearing at it with my own fingers
i can't stop
and it hurts
I know many of y'all cannot relate
this is not a normal mental state, I did something to my brain.
I am likely over-working bruised and jammed joints
my body won't stop moving it hurts to stop it

i am STILL SCREAMING and moaning
and remembering what was said to me last
DO NOT contact him
let him come to you
if he wants
because you're worth it
they said that to me
i was like awww <3 someone believes in me
should I?
most of you cannot relate
to the jonah complex eating me away after having killed all my friends at a young age
we are afraid of our destiny
we are tired of the suffering

ok I'm giving in I can't help myself doggos it hurts it hurts bad and I want the pain to stop

i'm now crying thinking about yet another loved one in the end of life
it hurts and i don't have anyone in real life to cry on a shoulder
i am not weak
i just feel safe expressing this in private, alone
i like being alone i fucking hate myself

these mood swings are really fucking intense

if i could highlight how intense these mood swings are i'd probably get help
that i don't want because i'd feel pathetic
and i would rather die young and am giving into the void
i absolutely cannot go out in public screaming and whining and crying my eyes out like this

my greatest wish in life is to fuck myself to death
 
oh my god

and my friend goes

"______________" and it's EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING HERE and it's like

he think it funny to be the gossip ho BITCH I AM ALREADY 1 STEP AHEAD OF YA and it may not have been the 1st time he made the joke

cuz he prolly started the rumors there too bout what goes on and

i feel bad for him and JAMAL rip bros that night would have been epic

I can't stop myself I'm in manic overdrive guys if there was a god in heaven benzos would be OTC
 
C.H.
keep your healthy weight gain up sweetheart and eat!
It is way sexier to be at a healthy weight!

You need the fuel for all that fire you bring!

Do what makes you happy.
@DopeM has a very excellent point above!

I want to see you happy!
you have come so far and are doing so good.
I am proud of you for what you have accomplished.

Coming off the hard drugs like you did is an inspiration!

❤️
 
dear FUTURE CPT this is your PAST SELF reminding you why you don't do drug binges anymore
because it fucking hurts you're pushing 60 days bro
but it feels so riteeeeeeee
 
Painful One said:
You need $10 worth of taco’s a day just to keep that nice, fat, big D in shape!
😁
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like THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING
get me $100 and that shit's going to drugs honey and you can feed me a meal
but if you got drugs like just take me to the taco truck I'm simple babe I only need like $7 - 10 at the taco trucks.
My friends think its totes hilarious that's my going rate. I don't care I'm not a prostitute I'm your friend and I need a meal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MEN HAVE no sense OF DIGNITY they give it away

gay407

more like I need < $1 worth of BENZOS and THE STATE IS BEING A DICKWEED TO ME i hate this national socialist state predatory capitalism at its finest
i am 100% planning on emigrating to a 3rd world country for the OTC pharmacy options I cannot stand living like this forever I need to leave america WHEN donald trump is getting re-elected
 
Captain.Heroin said:
it is IMPOSSIBLY PAINFUL not to take benzos to sleep at night I DON'T NEED FOR ANXIETY/PANIC anymore but

it HURTS like

do you know what it's like to be the only one unable to sleep
maybe getting start/stop sleep for 2-3 hours a night and 4-5 hours of painful awareness
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I do know what that is like and it sucks!

I did not sleep for an entire year after I was injured in that car accident that has left me injured and in chronic pain.

It is better to have a drugged sleep than no sleep at all.
(three different doctors told me that)
it is true!

Please sleep by whatever means necessary!

With Love
PO
 
haha no my doctors tell me not to numb the pain forever

IT IS DOING NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE I AM SURE OF IT GOD DAMN and no one listens

SAVE MEeeeeeeee



"just take your meds get a new doctor" DON'T YOU THINK THAT HASN'T CROSSED MY MIND

sorry I know you are all helping <3 I am going manic and it hurts like the brain thinks of nothing but self-harm intrusive thoughts
not everyone feels this way
just me
had a dab is not entirely helping what is going on, have to bork at you doggos later for real
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I know many of y'all cannot relate
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I can though. We don't all have the same reasons, but lol, mental anguish is my forté. Life is shit, people are shit, I am shit, pain is shit, money is shit, I don't even know where I was going with this, chocolate icecream is the shit.

KEEP SCOOPING
zPZXqNhCuHYIoIl-800x450-noPad.jpg
 
Blowmonkey said:
I can though. We don't all have the same reasons, but lol, mental anguish is my forté. Life is shit, people are shit, I am shit, pain is shit, money is shit, I don't even know where I was going with this, chocolate icecream is the shit.

KEEP SCOOPING
zPZXqNhCuHYIoIl-800x450-noPad.jpg
Click to expand...
Ice cream for life

When brain comes up for air

And checks freezer contents
More than 1 container?
Life is good.

Going to eat.

Blood sugar is such a powerful valve for emotions.

HAIL SATAN i has 2 beers and holes in my system

watching WHEN LONDON BURNS by DEICIDE

thinking of yOU DEVILS <3

devilsgospel said:
One sexy ass part of the world
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have you seen DEICIDE WHEN LONDON BURNS?


It's pretty fucking solid.

LONDON FUCKING ENGLAND HUH will SHOVE THIS UP YOUR ASS THIS IS CALLED DEMONS OF THE UNDERWORLD

*solid death metal*

FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND SATAN RULES THIS WORLD

DEATH METAL AND DISSOCIATIVES
HAIL SATAN

Devils if i get supes loadedi am sendingyou WHEN LONDON BURNS by DEICIDE and a box of whippits

Hail satan! Satan is love! I love Devilsgospel so much.

We wrote this one when most of your moms and dads were fucking in back seats of cars this is called SACRIFICIAL SUICIDE

DEATH BY DAWNDEATH BY DAWNDEATH BY DAWNDEATH BY DAWNDEATH BY DAWNDEATH BY DAWNDEATH BY DAWNDAWNDAWNDAWNDAWN

I THOUGHT YOU GUYS DIDN'T LIKE ME?

it's ok my mom and dad don't like me either
WE'RE DOING CHRIST DENIED

I'm
so
heavy
feeling
i feel so good
and pain still
but it's going away
gonna take an nsaid
lol i am so conservative with shit these days it's scary :( i can't even take an antihistamine for fear of RUNNING OUT OF THAT TOO what if they ban it like otc dxm or benzos like COME ON PAPA NEEDS HIS MEDS
 
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