💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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Times with no weed are bad. I think it would send me bananas
Like legit 24 hours without it and I'm crawling at my skin screaming and the intrusive thoughts to commit suicide/hurt myself are very strong.

It's just an intrusive thought and I can avoid it but HOLY SHIT is it intense. It's like an instinct to fuck, just as strong but like inverted and turned against the self. It kind of sucks.

But I'll be 100% OK I have FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES who are helping me stay high because they see me struggling.

the color of the day is THE COPS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO FUCK THE WHORES
 
I need to stop buying drugs, but I have willpower of zero, when willl I learn!
 
I need to stop buying drugs, but I have willpower of zero, when willl I learn!
This is where I'm at like if I'm out on my luck I absolutely have to get at least some alcohol and cannabis.

I'm weak, I know. My friends are like "aww but he's hot" so they help me out. My looks aren't going to last forever so I'm planning for a suicide when my looks go because it would only be logical at that point.

Or maybe when you get ugly that's when you have to get a job. I haven't been clued in yet.

I frankly don't like or want to contribute to society. The world I live in is largely one I don't want to live in.

4 beers, some benzos, some DXM (don't want to take becausae I'll want more than the amount I have) and some cannabis extract.

THE MADNESS CONTINUES

Hmm, I assume it takes more willpower to get drugs than to quit them 😉
It's totally the opposite though it's so easy to buy so hard to quit when you have a real habit.

If you find it easy to quit you're probably not an addict and are just intuitively trying to heal your brain.

I absolutely cannot stop cannabis it's like a hardcore addiction/need for my brain.

I'm in CB-1 WD and the sweating sucks. My GI tract hates me. My whole body/brain is screaming FUCK YOU TAKE A DAB THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WAITING SO LONG FOR and I have to wait to teach myself some form of patience. You have

NO IDEA

how hard it is unless you're in my shoes. I've been using cannabis for 15 years and that shit is like my bread and butter.

The yawning/throes of WD are telling me IT'S OK TAKE MORE DRUGS and I'm like NO YOU STUPID GIT and I want to slam my head against a wall until I'm unconscious to stop the craving. It's sick. It's not normal.

if I can use less drugs and suck more dick it'll all balance out.
 
This is where I'm at like if I'm out on my luck I absolutely have to get at least some alcohol and cannabis.

I'm weak, I know. My friends are like "aww but he's hot" so they help me out. My looks aren't going to last forever so I'm planning for a suicide when my looks go because it would only be logical at that point.

Or maybe when you get ugly that's when you have to get a job. I haven't been clued in yet.

I frankly don't like or want to contribute to society. The world I live in is largely one I don't want to live in.

4 beers, some benzos, some DXM (don't want to take becausae I'll want more than the amount I have) and some cannabis extract.

THE MADNESS CONTINUES

if I can use less drugs and suck more dick it'll all balance out.
I'm super weak. I used to be ok when I worked full time now I'm just happy go lucky
 
I never run out of weed. That would be hell
YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

I ran 100% out and had to go buy more yesterday and my friend who LENT me money was like ENCOURAGING ME TO because he knows how bad I'll get without it

and I literally can't waste like 2 months of my life on a withdrawal I'll probably just relapse on anyways I'll just kill myself now.

I just have to BE SMART and not STUPID this go around. BE SMART cpt.
 
oh my god I just started screaming "oh my god thank you" and shrieking like a monkey

I'm gonna lose my mind

it's gonna be ok

it's
gonna
be
ok

you

just

need
to
not
NOT
buy a lot of drugs
just SOME
and chillax and spend the rest on bills and shit and save some because you're an addict
please
please god
PLEASE LISTEN TO ME GOD
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
I never run out of weed. That would be hell
....or benzos. I am good at limiting those or they just make me cry. but I seem to be turning into a bit of a crack head lately 😵 not good. I blame the lack of opiates in my life...... I feel it's making me go a bit perculiar 🤣. Anyway. Deffo an early night tonight. I really have had a great Monday and Tuesday, nothing to do tomorrow.
 
oh my
GOD
that was
delicious
i was like
nutting in my pants over that dab of shatter

oh thank you god
THANK YOU GOD
I have to show my thanks with my rock hard D because that's what the universe seems to appreciate most about me.
 
....or benzos. I am good at limiting those or they just make me cry. but I seem to be turning into a bit of a crack head lately 😵 not good. I blame the lack of opiates in my life...... I feel it's making me go a bit perculiar 🤣. Anyway. Deffo an early night tonight. I really have had a great Monday and Tuesday, nothing to do tomorrow.
I went like a whole MONTH without benzos AND I HAD A HYPNOTIC AND XANAX ON HAND and like

I was losing my shit going manic as fuck

but no cravings/withdrawal.

My brain is.... um..... unusual, to say the least.

But CB-1 withdrawal FORGET IT game over.
 
oh my god I just started screaming "oh my god thank you" and shrieking like a monkey

I'm gonna lose my mind

it's gonna be ok

it's
gonna
be
ok

you

just

need
to
not
NOT
buy a lot of drugs
just SOME
and chillax and spend the rest on bills and shit and save some because you're an addict
please
please god
PLEASE LISTEN TO ME GOD
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh my god I feel EXACTLY the same? R u my twin from across the pond?
 
Oh, papa, yes, oh god, I feel it, I feel my brain thanking me it's like yes bro you needed that your shit wasn't going to work out without this
 
Oh my god I feel EXACTLY the same? R u my twin from across the pond?
probably

i got past the heroin wd and all but

I KNOW it will mean I get addicted again if I use hard opiates again.

The weaker ones like pharmaceuticals DON'T EVEN INTEREST ME. I have been SHOWN them and I'm like "yeah whatever that's nothing" lol

but HEROIN/BUPE = game over. Like I will end up in hell/dead.
 
Unusual brain? 🤣 I can relate
I also eat psychedelics like candy and I fucking love them.

I absolutely need cannabis or my brain isn't right. I can't ever overdo it again. Oh wow this sucks. I have to dab NORMALLY. Forever.

when people let you down you always have your families to back you up, it's great. I'd do anything for them. My peeps know I got their back, it's great. You can walk on water. You can fly in the sky. Gonna be sky high when I die. Oh yeah.

Fuck I have to get ready and leave soon :( I would so rather just sit here and vegetate today. I look sexier the older I get right now and when my looks start going I won't care to carry it on forever.

Finding someone to potentially settle down with is good but when their last dude left them it's like yea I probably will break his heart too



i played this for just 2 of my friends and they lol'd heartily.

I have fucked every love situation I ever had up. Well it takes two to tango. I am beginning to believe I really belong alone and can't wait to die alone. BTW the guy I like def doesn't like sleeping next to me at night like I don't either normally but doing that with my other friend is super hot so I'm thinking I like the sex the most w/ him but there is someone sexier in my life.

And there's like 0% chance in hell of me ever telling someone that without wrecking their little manheart.

WHEN THEY CRY... but it's the truth though. Maybe I should just come out and say it. Be like "ur only my #2 brah". LOL. Oh god. NO DON'T DO THAT CPT YOU ARE AN IDIOT don't borderline this one too.

LULZ.

He really likes the sex too though. So as long as I just play the "sex" card and keep it to that I know I'll be getting it.

IRL listening to black metal and occasionally screaming as I see fit. Kind of wakes you up but also relaxes you. SATANSATANSATAN

This black metal is really good and it's going to suck having to not listen to any for a hot minute. Fuck I really need help and I'm gonna have to ask for it *again* today.

Every time I have to ask for help it humbles me and it makes me feel like a piece of shit that can't do everything on their own. No one person can but seriously it makes me feel awful. My god growing an ego too quick. Need more DXM. Thank god I have $ this time. Oh god. So going to buy like 4 bottles of it minimum.


NEVER
STOP
THE
MADNESS
 
I have 20 mins doggos. I am so high I won't need to take another dab.

But holy shit am I so trying to be 100% clean and it's HARD. I don't even know why I'm trying I just am, alright?

:|

*MAJOR SIGH* I can do this, for at least like, a week or something. I can maybe just dab for a week. I don't have to. I can wait. I CAN.
 
Fuck.... fuck my life. I can't stop with this overdrive shit.

I get boners in public and shit like I'm a teenager. All over again. That's what going manic is like. Fucking manic overdrive shit is real.

I would take some more alprazolam but I don't HAVE to. I'm not GOING to. I won't even bring it with me. FUCK.

This is brought to you by the TAKE ALL THE DRUGS campaign especially the benzos those are some good shit. Just don't overdo the hypnotics that shit BITES DOGGOS' BALLS.

I did have four beers last night. That shouldn't be fucking me up. It's quitting stuff like dxm I think. I really shouldn't do so much dxm. COME ON CPT gotta surface for water w/ your brain sometimes :| fuuuuuuck

Maybe I should go stare at my benzos and cry because I won't let myself take them and then just go about my day. I'm so sick minded for having something that will help and not using it. This isn't normal. I know.
 
IRL listening to black metal and occasionally screaming as I see fit. Kind of wakes you up but also relaxes you. SATANSATANSATAN
That just sounds scary! I'm more of a raver so I'd rather sing some happy tunes. I drove to Chester today and with 2x12 inch subs and 2 amps my car was loud!
I can maybe just dab for a week.
tbf that sounds quite hard. But I might need to do this soon, people keep corrupting me though.
 
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