I was really young when I first started, about 12 years old. It started at school, first I smoked cigarettes because a girl I was crushing on did and I wanted to be like da "kool kidz". Then I ended up at my now best friends house, they were all smoking weed so my drug addiction started there. I smoked as often as I could. I used to idolize characters from skins and sorta made that my lifestyle. Now I'm addicted to a fair few drugs.
Substances I am abusing: - Opiates, everyone of them except heroin
Substances I still do, but try to not do often: - GHB and all the similar ones too it
Drugs I don't do anymore: - Weed
Duration of Addiction/Dependence
For weed, I smoked that everyday for 4 years straight, then I stopped for a year, then went back on it for another couple years at the moment I've not smoked for about 8ish months and I have no intention of ever smoking it again. I have drug induced psychosis and weed is a big no for that mental illness, only problem is weed is something you can do everyday so it stopped me from doing harder drugs, now I have to be careful with how much I used the other drugs. I was addicted to meth two different times too, first time was for a year and a half and that was the good times because I didn't feel the need to go out and buy copious amounts it was just a social thing. Next time was a lot worse even though the duration was only about 8 months, I lived in a 'crack den' (people would come in and out all the time to buy it, lots of dealing and lots of the wrong kind of people you'd want to be around).
I started opiates two years ago, that to me is my current weed. I try to not go past 3 days at a time though and space them out in case of liver damage. My GHB usage started around the same time and my second meth usage, I find that one light hearted and fun as long as I don't become psychically dependent on it and I don't do it nearly enough for that to happen.
Psychedelics to me is something I take to grow a bit, I don't see it so much as a recreational value I see it more as a tool and a gift, so that I do mostly just around mushroom season.
MDMA and Ketamine are more party drugs for me.
And the speed is because its close to meth but I use ADHD medication for the high so I don't have the bad comedowns and psychosis.
I've ended up in hospital 3 times from accidental overdoses, one was taking too much lyrica for too long then stopping so I had seizures all day and ended up there, another was for having an OD amount of tramadol with phenergan and baclofen and the last was after I had a couple bottles of Rikkodeine and god knows how many xans, I remember taking more because the Rikko made me throw up and I was like nooo threw up the xans, and I'm guessing that kept happening because I had no idea what happened and I ended up in a hospital ages away from home.
I eventually became so addicted to drugs that I was kicked out of home, became homeless for a bit and really had to get my life together. Meth and weed has given me psychosis which makes me no longer enjoy those drugs, and my psychosis gets really scary and even that wasn't enough for me to quit, it took a lot. I was put in a psych ward to get off the weed and I stopped the meth in order to have a place again. It was hard.
Warnings and Advice
All drugs are fine in my opinion but PLEASE if you're new to these drugs just make it a once in a while thing it can take over your whole life. I stopped caring about my apperance all that mattered was my next fix. I'm lucky to not be permanently schizophrenic.
Also if you do choose to do harder drugs, make sure you're around a good group of people who will tell you when you've had to much and when to slow down.
I have decided to become a drug and alcohol worker this year to help other people in similar situations.
I’m a 34 year old female, from the northeast US. I grew up in a pretty average home — both parents, mom stayed at home, consequently, we didn’t have a lot of money. I didn’t fit in very well at school, mainly because I didn’t really have social contact with any other kids UNTIL I started school, and because I was very smart, but I didn’t fit in with the other “smart kids” because we weren’t well off. My dad is a daily drinker, my mom was an alcoholic, she was depressed for large portions of my childhood and had very bad anxiety and agoraphobia. She also had possibly negative self worth, and I always swore I would not end up “like her”.... but my mother ended up being my very best friend until the day she passed, and I am very very much like her.
I started with alcohol when I was 9 or so, mainly because it was so readily available. I was a daily drinker by the time I was 16 or so. I also started dabbling in other drugs around that time - first weed, then ecstasy, eventually cocaine. Only the weed and alcohol were used with any regularity, and I quit both at age 20, and quit smoking cigs as well. I moved to the next state over shortly after that, and while I did drink and smoke weed occasionally through the next few years, I never was truly addicted to anything until I found opiates at the age of 25 or so. By this time I was engaged and working as a restaurant manager. I regularly worked 70-80 weeks and sometimes more. My body couldn’t keep up and instead of realizing it was the crazy amount of hours, I thought I had some kind of chronic pain condition, and tried in vain to find a dr who would prescribe the opiates I wanted. Eventually I moved to take over a different location for work. There, my assistant manager’s father started selling me pills. He had scripts, well honestly everyone seemed to have scripts. It was 2009 and oxycodone was literally everywhere, even in the smallest of towns. I became further enmeshed in their family and the lifestyle. I was a daily drinker and cig/weed smoker again. I got into the bar scene. Time flew between work, using and drinking. I excelled with my company and stepped into a role where I did “turn-arounds”, fixing the operations in bad restaurants. I got married to that very innocent boy a year older than me, and he stayed relatively clueless about my new habits. I fucking loved oxy, and the energy it gave me. Quickly I went from needing a quarter of a blue, to a whole one, to 2, 4, 6, 8 and more at a time. Tried to quit a few times, joined Bluelight and got told to get my shit together or regret it.... well, I regretted it. One day I was sick, and took a bunch of tramadol... I’d been up for days snorting blues from my new Mexican mail order provider, and I fell asleep at the wheel on my way home and hit a 72 year old man and his wife, almost killing all 3 of us. At my husband’s and family’s insistence, I “tried” to get clean, then just got better at lying.
I landed in yet another new location and suddenly blues were $55. I drove back to my old city frequently but seeing as my tolerance was up to like 400 mg a day, it was a futile effort. But no need to worry, because my new employees had heroin instead. Quickly the $400 I spent on blues a day became $400 worth of heroin. I only sniffed it, but I became just as hopelessly addicted as the homeless junkies in my old city. I started hanging out with this girl, fucking around on my husband, and she started doing dope and pills with me.
Duration of Addiction/Dependence
I used oxycodone for at least four years with minimal damage to my life, but once I found heroin, my life started to unravel with breakneck speed. Within three months I landed in an inpatient rehab, where they did a 9 day suboxone taper due to my ridiculous tolerance, only to almost immediately tell me that my insurance had decided to stop covering me after 16 days. I spent 3 days non stop trying to find a suboxone provider on their phones, and when that didn’t happen, I planned my relapse instead. I left rehab and immediately drove to find some oxycodone. 6 days later, my husband and I split up, and I moved in with that girl... we continued to use more and more. I found a suboxone doctor finally, and settled into a routine of using once a week or so. A year went by, with our using becoming more and more frequent (my new friends from rehab made this much easier), until I got kicked off my program. At that point I relapsed hard. I cashed out a $10k 401k to buy a car.... and in 3 weeks, it was gone. My mother had just been diagnosed with cancer, and things felt literally hopeless. It was at this time that I enrolled in a methadone maintenance program. I had only used heroin for a year and a half, most of it not even daily use — but it had literally taken everything from me.
I lost a great paying job, then also a slightly worse one, my marriage, most of my friendships, even my relationships with my parents were very strained. At my worst I was jobless, selling my belongings to buy a few shitty bags that would not even get me off sick. I lost my mother three months into MMT — I used a handful of times shortly before she died and right after, resulting in a DWAI and a possession charge. The last few times I used, I did IV, but fortunately, my girlfriend had listened to all my harm reduction talks (thx to none other than this site, I knew everything about IV despite never doing it), and neither her or I ever had any complications from shooting.
The last time I used was Oct 4, 2015 — I used 4 shitty bags because I missed a weekend at the clinic — and now I’m about to celebrate 4 years clean. In that time, I tapered down to 28 mg of methadone and switched back to suboxone. I then got complacent for a while, started taking up to 32 mg of suboxone a day, tried to do a rapid detox off that, made it 12 days, had a mental breakdown.... and that brings me to right now. I have an appt with my old suboxone dr tomorrow, and while I would rather not get back on subs, I know that I need to, to be safe. I plan to keep the dose low this time, and hopefully taper off correctly. I’m back managing restaurants, but I hate it, so I’m hoping to back to school for computer science as soon as possible.
Warnings and Advice
I thought I was literally the last person who would ever get addicted to heroin. I used many drugs prior to that without ever becoming addicted. Once I was addicted to opiates, I also briefly went through alcohol and cocaine addictions as well. This disease does NOT discriminate.
I also had no clue that the seemingly harmless Vicodins, Percocets, and Oxys were just as addictive as heroin. If I had known what pills REALLY were, I’d never have touched them. I didn’t know withdrawal was a thing until I was experiencing it. For a very smart kid, I was utterly clueless about this dark underworld. I truly believe this country needs to educate its children a bit better on the dangers of the shit you snag outta your parents’ and friends’ medicine cabinets.
Also, if you have a baby habit, don’t be like me. Listen to the people here that tell you how much worse it can get. At my worst, I couldn’t even get up to GET MORE DRUGS when I was in withdrawals.
I tried over 100 times to get clean before I found success!!! Believe me when I say this - if I could do it, anyone can. But thankfully, I was ending my run when fent was hitting the streets — if my addiction was shifted just a year or two later, I’d very certainly be dead. I thought I would die in this game for sure. But if you’re truly not ready yet, I understand that better than anyone — just PLEASE use safely until you are. Test any new product with a very small amount first.
If you’ve never touched heroin... now is not the time to start. This game is life or death now in a way it never has been previously. Since getting clean, I have lost dozens of friends to ODs. One of my best friends just left behind FOUR beautiful daughters. Those girls will miss their daddy for the rest of their lives.
Staying clean depends on YOU! You need to put together some kind of life where you don’t WANT to use anymore. I have let myself drift closer and closer to the life I was living when I started using and I almost paid for that dearly! I thought getting off subs would compel me to fix that.... then my dr had me take a naltrexone pill which put me into the worst withdrawals of my entire life... and with four years clean I was out here trying to score. It can happen just like that, a few wrong decisions and you’re looking in the mirror and seeing the addict you were reflected back at you! The only reason I’m here typing this right now is because I keep good people around me, and because I STAYED HONEST with them when it felt like the hardest thing I would ever do!
There are so many stories in this thread... read them all and you realize that literally anyone could get addicted.... all it takes is a few wrong decisions. And once you start making the wrong ones it gets harder each time to make the right one instead. The rest of this country needs to wake up and realize that there is no shame in becoming addicted... the only SHAME is treating addicts like it’s something to be ashamed of.