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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

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"If you go out , you come back and you come back to an empty house.
You know, it's loneliness again.
It feels as though you've been dumped in the deep end and there is nobody there to rescue you.
It's just something that is thrown at you. You can't throw it back to anybody.
You got to just carry on..."
 
so, this morning i needed to have some medication, but in the evening i wanted to redose
but instead i cut a half a dose in half andnit helped tremendously.
i was thinking it would be so easy to to a little bit more, however, i didn't want to have to deal with the painful consequences so i limited the dosage to even more of a minimum and was very benefiting and so very helpful.
i still do however have have to experience the pain when eliminating medicine completely.
 
I don't want to be lazy so
I am trying again today.

Captain. That is so dope 💓
💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓

Thank you for all of your
contributions and for inspiring
our worlds 💓
 
IlhuNFW.jpg

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Hylight said:
That is so dope 💓
Click to expand...
I woke up feeling like shit, mostly just need to feel better and I can't stand how bad I feel. The outside world is shit.

The plebes are so afraid of dying. I guess because bitching about their bosses and minimum wage jobs they don't have the balls to quit is better so they can cower in fear from everyone wearing a face mask that surely isn't going to help them not get the covid-19 they've already been exposed to.

I'm just afraid of waking up and feeling like shit.

I'm also afraid I'll be stuck in this shell of a human being forever.
 
Feel like ordering some heroin and meth but gonna stay away from those. Propably time to start making some money now that I live in a city.
 
schizopath said:
Feel like ordering some heroin and meth
Click to expand...
Only two drugs that can grab someone like me by the balls, any desire to not do it or resist that urge = REALLY GOOD, don't let go of that. :)

Everything else is like take it or leave it (except for cannabis, something I've admitted, and I have accepted)

Hylight said:
I don't want to be lazy so
I am trying again today.

Captain. That is so dope 💓
💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓

Thank you for all of your
contributions and for inspiring
our worlds 💓
Click to expand...
It's really crazy how I have the will power to let something like the flu, covid19 or whatever kill me from asphyxia and still don't want to use opiates.

Like I'll still use drugs but I know those are like nothing to me anymore. I never thought I'd feel that way. Ever.

It took a lot of years. It really did.

I even see heroin dealers in NOT SKID ROW. Yeah that shit's alive, it's real. I won't say what neighborhoods. It's probably all of them? the cartels have stockpiles, I'm sure, and people will get bored during quarantine. The state is over-tasked. ...

It's pretty bad situation for someone like me if I was craving. I'm not. And I'm in pain every day. Don't care. The condition "is often prescribed opiates" = won't take them. MAKE BETTER DRUGS. That will help the disease I have. Or the condition. <3
 
i guess cos your dark comes up from mexico, and can be brought by sea, the supply will be less hit. over here i can see it running out soon, being an island and all, and at the end of a very long line of locked down countries.

how is everyone doing?

yesterday I had my first 'i cannot do this' reaction to lockdown, i want to see someone who is not my family. i really hope it doesn't last more than the 3 weeks after which we will have a new assessment of the situation, but i'm not hopeful. at least i won't be doing any drugs here.
 
chinup said:
i guess cos your dark comes up from mexico, and can be brought by sea, the supply will be less hit. over here i can see it running out soon, being an island and all, and at the end of a very long line of locked down countries.

how is everyone doing?

yesterday I had my first 'i cannot do this' reaction to lockdown, i want to see someone who is not my family. i really hope it doesn't last more than the 3 weeks after which we will have a new assessment of the situation, but i'm not hopeful. at least i won't be doing any drugs here.
Click to expand...
Oh no way there's so much money to be made in the trade that it is going to keep going on. Just my 2 c.

I don't blame you for leaving to get out and see somebody. It is totally understandable. We are social creatures.

Without sex I would probably get unreasonably depressed and self harm a lot.

It is part of what we need for our mental health. Its ok to break down and lapse and am proud you have a place to stay clean. If I relapse I wouldn't have a sober refuge. It would be game over.
 
wow. i don't think i am ever going to get better again.
i don't like agony and the universe right now.
and i tapered down to nothing but something i need more. ☹
i will try to trip on some kratom like once a year,
to see if it will help but i doubt it.
depression is just awful. sun helps and a diet coke.
i just hope the air is safe and the sun doesn't have too much radiation in it. hey ?
loooool
<3 anyway, it's nice to be around others that want to and care.
 
the last little mg's are the worst to get rid of.
i can't and won't be able to.
and it hurts to stop but not anywhere as awful as dabbling in benzo's. period.
so. .
 
oh i just want to take a hydrocodone so bad, but will i pay for it later ?

maybe i will do just like 4mg's and then drink later.
it's windy and the virus situation is everywhere.

at least low doses still work for me. so far.
 
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