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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2021 ⫷⫷

f1mula0ne

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
44
I'm 21 days clean of meth, wasn't easy but glad I got there. The offering was there for me to take and I resisted it, I feel like the odd one out and like peer pressure plays a role in drug use. But I love my junky friends and the ones that still use. I just can't use with them since it impacts my mental health so badly. Could use someone to talk to. But this party may have worn thin and I'm going to bail (it is 3 fucking am and I'm LOADED with a bunch of supplements like True Focus and had a couple of dexies). (Hope this post is allowed here, things have been going great, got some work lined up and generally feeling a lot healthier and creativity doesn't have to come from a crack pipe
 

n3ophy7e

Moderator: TDS, H&R, MH
Staff member
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
30,899
Location
Dex's room
I'm 21 days clean of meth, wasn't easy but glad I got there. The offering was there for me to take and I resisted it, I feel like the odd one out and like peer pressure plays a role in drug use. But I love my junky friends and the ones that still use. I just can't use with them since it impacts my mental health so badly. Could use someone to talk to. But this party may have worn thin and I'm going to bail (it is 3 fucking am and I'm LOADED with a bunch of supplements like True Focus and had a couple of dexies). (Hope this post is allowed here, things have been going great, got some work lined up and generally feeling a lot healthier and creativity doesn't have to come from a crack pipe
Well done man! That is so awesome, keep it up <3 Early recovery can be really hard, especially having to avoid your usual group of friends due to triggers and their drug use. Where do you live? Do they have Crystal Meth Anonymous meetings where you are? I'm a recovering alcoholic and addict but have never touched meth, however I used to go to CMA Meetings cos the crowd was more my age group, they were generally more down-to-earth and more real about recovery, and I found the stuff they said more accessible to me than other meetings. Try it, in recovery it is vital that you hang out with sober/clean people sometimes.
 

iTry91

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
774
Went to an AA meeting yesterday and tbh I didn't enjoy the culty vibes but then again I need to be out my comfort zone just now. Just never been one to follow rules etc plus the addiction speaks a lot so maybe part of that is skewing my perception. I couldn't help but think they get people hooked in when they are at their lowest, which is technically a great thing for a lot of people as it "saves their life"... I just couldn't help but think the lady who spoke could have well had a seizure or something the way she was explaining her DT's the first time she went there and how instantly she trusted the person who put his arm around her and she is sober to this day. It's a great thing but I just dunno why that doesn't sit right with me. Anyway all my personal bias aside I got something out of it and that's the main thing the speakers were really nice and down to earth and I related to a lot that was said and it gave me the reminder I desperately need/ed. So will be going back but it's definitely not gonna be my new obsession. Good to utilise though. I dunno if I'm being close minded because I secretly want to pick up a drink again.
Off to a female group today to try and learn to socialize without a drink etc again wish me luck I'll need it I'm a visible nervous wreck most of the time lol.

Hope everyone is doing okay 🤛
 

f1mula0ne

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
44
Well done man! That is so awesome, keep it up <3 Early recovery can be really hard, especially having to avoid your usual group of friends due to triggers and their drug use. Where do you live? Do they have Crystal Meth Anonymous meetings where you are? I'm a recovering alcoholic and addict but have never touched meth, however I used to go to CMA Meetings cos the crowd was more my age group, they were generally more down-to-earth and more real about recovery, and I found the stuff they said more accessible to me than other meetings. Try it, in recovery it is vital that you hang out with sober/clean people sometimes.
I don't, my drug and alcohol counsellor (who was very helpful in the initial 2 weeks of withdrawal) says they run group counselling sessions where it's open book, share what you will sorta thing. I overshared with the housing agency where I'm at and ended up screaming at them. Not their fault they have to force empathy and they've probably heard worse. Today is day 2 without naltrexone (highly recommended if anyone's looking to quit, helped me heaps in the first 2 weeks). The brain fog is lifting and I'm starting to manifest good stuff in my life, just gotta stay on track and be healthy, but I think the group meetings will be helpful, just to engage with people who are also quitting. Might make some friends.
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R, EADD
Staff member
Joined
Aug 1, 2010
Messages
5,955
Location
Greatest city on Earth
@iTry91 well done for going to AA!! i went in rehab, just cos it was that or not getting to leave the site that day. way way prefer NA, it seems a bit more chill and less preachy?

i'm flying out to greece at shit o clock tomorrow. i'm sorry i haven't got back to everyone like i said i would. i've been insanely tired and had a lot to do with work and sorting out my house purchase in my few days back. i wish you all well and hopefully normal chinup service will resume upon my return!!
 

dragonix

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
906
Dangit I tried to moderate drinking again felt like I was at a dead end inside the beverage center again didn't really binge but had probably four beers technically made me feel guilty I need to stop dude it was the THC that triggered me wanting beer to go with it.

Unproductive then time to revamp what I am doing
 

opiofr3k

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
11
Location
United Kindgdom
Buprenorphine as i predicted helped me leave codeine/tramadol alone. I've even took a day off from pregab's and benzo's. I want to take only benzo's few times in a month as a stress relief. Keep taking pregab's till my source of groin ache will be find out. Subutex was too strong for me but coop great with pregab's during last week when i had to be still productive at work everyday. I had 2mg pill and ive crushed them, made 8 approx lines and sniff from time to time. Plus 3x 150mg preg's per day. Now small break :) I dont want to take more than 200mg pregab's and still wants to valium 10mg put me to sleep :) wish me luck!
 

dragonix

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
906
Just threw a nicotine and bathtub gin vape and some shake down the sump pump they aren't fun anymore had a big pint of eleven percent alcohol nothing seems to be helping I am dead inside parents just dropped us food I feel horrible for being a failure and burdening them like this I don't think anything nor anyone will help me since that Buddhist witch called me nothing without her guidance doomed to die early
 

birdup

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 26, 2021
Messages
179
Location
Somewhere Near Mount Dandenong
I am no longer addicted to anything. I drink sometimes. I get stoned, but not every day. Sometimes I have benzos, but I've got it under control.

I highly recommend getting a time-lock box. It makes weaning so much easier.

My mental health is way better without that monkey on my back. Everything is easier. I'm more confident and I really engage with people.

I used to have this tunnel vision problem. My mind was always waiting for the next joint or the next drink. I am distant when I'm an addict. Everybody and everything else takes second place.

It is nice to be free and still able to get high when I want to. I don't want to quit everything anymore. I don't hate myself for not being sober.

I am tired of being a prisoner.
Drugs are great. Addiction is shit.
 

Blankenstein

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 19, 2021
Messages
186
My dad can now breathe on his own as of today. Still in ICU though.

I decided to go back to work a couple of days ago. Im not going to wait around for him to die. If I stay in the city I’ll just kill my self with various pills.

I took a few days off work while he was at his worst. Ended up using a lot. I don’t really even want to say how much I was using, but I feel by writing it down it makes me confront how dumb I am (let me know if If moderators want me to delete it, I don’t like talking numbers in case someone else reads it and thinks it’s all good). Over the course of 3 or 4 hours I had 240mg of morphine, 160mg of oxy, 200mg of tramadol, 25mg of Valium and 30mg of baclofen. Maybe that isn’t that much compared to some I dunno.


I dont know what I’m trying to achieve with this post.

a close friend of mine is now in rehab and says he is scared with what I’m doing. 4 years ago when he was using a lot of heroin I said the same thing to him.

my father still isn’t out of the woods and never will be. Even if he gets out of hospital he won’t be going home. He doesn’t know that.

a close friend of his came over the other day after visiting him in hospital. She was saying how he said “I don’t want to die” and she was saying how much of a fighter he is. That’s bullshit. My brother, mother and myself have tried to help him so many times over the years and he never accepted the help. It’s too late for him.

and yes I’m aware of how hypocritical this is because I’m in his situation except I multiple substances to deal with. I need to try a different approach.

anyway I got back to work and didn’t drink for 2 nights. Did an AA meeting last night. Now I’ve drunk on the 3rd night. My plan is to go to a meeting tomorrow (this town has a Monday and Friday meeting) and get back on the Antabuse.

see how we go.
 

Blankenstein

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 19, 2021
Messages
186
Sorry for not responding to other people’s posts. feel kind of selfish. Just feeling a little drained.

I hope everyone who’s posted on here is feeling on point and kicking goals. Thinking of you all.
 

dragonix

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
906
Before I write off treatment for the final time I will try one last outpatient here only because it is free while I am hopefully temporarily on Medicaid.

I just came across this thing called natural recovery like without treatment and self-help groups discuss if you like

Honestly tho I don't think anyone gets clean until they choose to for themselves and have had enough.

The challenge of sobriety: natural recovery without treatment and self-help groups​

S Burman. J Subst Abuse. 1997.

Abstract​

Natural recovery is a phenomenon that is not understood and largely challenged by self-help group members and professionals working in the field of substance abuse. So strong is the supposition of the process of recovering as a life-long condition that requires treatment and/or a self-help group for on-going support and rehabilitation that recovery on one's own is given little credence. Yet there is growing empirical evidence that natural recovery not only exists, but may be more prominent than is currently recognized. This article presents a study of natural recoverers from alcoholism and problem drinking, reporting their subjective motivating factors and strategies of recovery, while examining an issue of which there is still limited data--the perceived changes since abstaining, i.e., how their lives have been altered by pursuing abstinence on their own. It concentrates on rich narrative data to explore the meaning of the change experience that can be applied to various addictions, for the purpose of illuminating novel approaches that have the potential for expanding practice techniques and forums, thereby enhancing its effectiveness.
 
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Pumpkin2021

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
1,887
Location
Michigan
Before I write off treatment for the final time I will try one last outpatient here only because it is free while I am hopefully temporarily on Medicaid.

I just came across this thing called natural recovery like without treatment and self-help groups discuss if you like

Honestly tho I don't think anyone gets clean until they choose to for themselves and have had enough.

The challenge of sobriety: natural recovery without treatment and self-help groups​

S Burman. J Subst Abuse. 1997.

Abstract​

Natural recovery is a phenomenon that is not understood and largely challenged by self-help group members and professionals working in the field of substance abuse. So strong is the supposition of the process of recovering as a life-long condition that requires treatment and/or a self-help group for on-going support and rehabilitation that recovery on one's own is given little credence. Yet there is growing empirical evidence that natural recovery not only exists, but may be more prominent than is currently recognized. This article presents a study of natural recoverers from alcoholism and problem drinking, reporting their subjective motivating factors and strategies of recovery, while examining an issue of which there is still limited data--the perceived changes since abstaining, i.e., how their lives have been altered by pursuing abstinence on their own. It concentrates on rich narrative data to explore the meaning of the change experience that can be applied to various addictions, for the purpose of illuminating novel approaches that have the potential for expanding practice techniques and forums, thereby enhancing its effectiveness.
What are you addicted to and how old are you ? For what it's worth I got clean on my own. No meds, no rehabs, no therapy, no NA/AA, no nothin'

Just my fortitude to be done with it when enough was more than enough already. But I am older and had a lifetime of poor choices so my resolve was much stronger than someone that hasn't been in the game for too long. Didn't do it at 30, 40 or 50 so I can see why it is largely challenged that it can't be done. If we survive the lifestyle , and get old enough, it become much easier to self heal.

Good luck with outpatient.
 

dragonix

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 24, 2021
Messages
906
What are you addicted to and how old are you ? For what it's worth I got clean on my own. No meds, no rehabs, no therapy, no NA/AA, no nothin'

Just my fortitude to be done with it when enough was more than enough already. But I am older and had a lifetime of poor choices so my resolve was much stronger than someone that hasn't been in the game for too long. Didn't do it at 30, 40 or 50 so I can see why it is largely challenged that it can't be done. If we survive the lifestyle , and get old enough, it become much easier to self heal.

Good luck with outpatient.
35. Polyaddicted I won't begin to name it all but most regular with alcohol except I realized using cannabis is a risk for me due to how my brain has developed also propylhexedrine cannot drink long without it that is the main triple threat

That is amazing to hear inspires me to improve my daily living patterns immediately

Thanks I still think I could use rehab for the ego check

I was thinking how I have been talking to and becoming familiarized with the folks behind headshop and convenience store counters more recently than say people at self help meetings that is just a blatant sign how bad I should attend right now
 
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f1mula0ne

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
44
28 days clean of meth. My skin, muscle tone and face look so much better. I've been getting shifts left right and centre which have helped heaps. When work dies down I might go to group counselling but otherwise just staying on track. Have the day off. So good being able to spend money on myself instead of that dirty washed down drug. Hope you all are going well.
 

Pumpkin2021

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
1,887
Location
Michigan
28 days clean of meth. My skin, muscle tone and face look so much better. I've been getting shifts left right and centre which have helped heaps. When work dies down I might go to group counselling but otherwise just staying on track. Have the day off. So good being able to spend money on myself instead of that dirty washed down drug. Hope you all are going well.
Congrats man. You did the hard work and now look at you. All clean and shiny. Rock on.
 

deficiT

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
8,367
Location
Baltimore, MD
126 days clean from meth, benzos, and alcohol. With the only asterisk being my recent phenibut use, this is the longest amount of clean time I've ever experienced. I'm back in school, and doing well at that for the most part. I have a plan for the future. I still don't have my own place, or have any kind of relationship, but Rome wasn't built in a day last time I checked so I'm gonna keep on truckin on.
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R, EADD
Staff member
Joined
Aug 1, 2010
Messages
5,955
Location
Greatest city on Earth
Well done everyone who is killing it in recovery.

I wish to join you soon.

Currently 0 days free of alcohol or purging. Relieved to be on my way home so my parents and boyfriend can at least put me on the right path re purging as it's got out of control and I'm sure I stank of vomit at the final group dinner last night.

Had a great holiday but it turns out wherever I go I'm still me.
 
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