i pulled a muscle in my right shoulder. is taking the wind out of me. it was so scary i thought it was heart attack city.
put ice on it. took two baby aspirin. can't even get up. too weak to even cry. just have to lay here. fck it all. i really don't care anymore.
pain hurt so bad can't even speak. maybe will it turn back into chronic throb !! i don't know.
diabetes, bad diet, no exercise or workouts.
depression, agitation. neglect of responsibilities. just complete deterioration in less than two years. wow how is it that possible. now, yes. feeling beyond into the bones.
i don't know. severe arthritis and brittle bonez. definitely was diagnosed with the arthritis years ago at very young to have had it. it hurts. always did.
heart condition and diabetes runs in the family. and yes it really does happen. and yet at this time i decide to
persevere and not give up.
this is all a trigger from my right arm that i cannot move.
i wonder how long i am going to be like this now. maybe when i wake up in the morning i will be better.
i can't get up otta bed now. well i can but it makes me wantntom cry.so bad. hurts like the wind getting knocked out by the blow. pain. crazy stabbing don't want to walk across the room pain.
the ice pack and baby aspirin helped the stabbing of the pain. along with the gurney position to immobilize. it hurts completely all the way over to the torn up wrist ligaments to whole entire wrist inflammation.also,a bit painful.
i had just started getting better and was able to function like normal and felt almost able to feel healthy.
took some pain medication and tried to cull and clean. seemed like it was resulting into sore muscles but then quickly developed into inflamed painful arm movement.
so i have to just lay here again now like i am just paralyzed. the thing is it is because it is really painful to move.
it has been getting really super cold lately. i am supposed to be doing my yoga and physical therapy moves but seriously barely can make it to the refrigerator to refreeze the ice pack.
i am so hurting and i had to go work two ugly shifts in a row. almost three but i couldn't make it.
also have been trying to spring clean early so hopefully it can all be finished by next summer.
now maybe i don't have long to live. maybe dying of bone cancer. don't want to be around people or covid or go to the hospital. just you know it's then pain and the beyond stabbing pain and more. like something new and even worse.
just not sure how or why it feels like one of the worst pulled muscles ever. just fucking owwwch. ow.
yeah ah turned all lame and i hate it. hate it so much. seriously. waaah wah. wtf. there are prolly 90 year olds that can shoot hoops around me. i don't wanna be like this. anymore.
yeh
oww.,please pain go,away. go,away.