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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

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I went four days with minimal amounts of weed. Tried sleeping and even had half a Xanax to get to today.

protocol activated. Still avoiding meth and heroin and all those goodies FUCK METH IT ISEVERYWHERE
 
well done hotfries for your month completely clean!! and well done CH for minimal amounts of weed- will you be able to keep that up?

my kitten cries whenever i leave the room, last night for over 20 mins continuously when i went to bed, and i woke up at 6.30 to the sound of him mewing. he only started this when i went back to work, i really hope he gets used to being on his own soon cos this is tiring. thankfully i have a friend who'se been in to visit him in the daytime, which is a huge comfort to both of us.
 
haha, nah, maybe. I can still feel weed which is, amazing, the last time I tried other than this year was eating 14g to no effect (terrible shatter tolerance/naturally high oral thc tolerance).

I have like 2-3 dabs a day instead of, way too many.
 
^^^ so sorry, just a really bad spell it was ♡.

stay strong ! it's the middel of january 👅
speaking beyond the nauseating feels. 😎
 
Im back to square one with my codeine addiction

contemplating going on a bupe program

this sucks and blows :-(
 
My drug tests are starting to get little sweaty at this point since they can just call me and I go have to give a sample, but luckily I just outwitted them... Im gonna score lyrica and mostly/only use it because I can just say that I found an old bottle of mine.
 
I've been taking entire days with no Kpins now. Which isn't easy. Currently tapering down from 6MG 10pcnt a month so I'm at 4. So to take none is something else of it's own. Kinda defeats the tapering purpose and def isn't recommended by the prescriber but fuck it. It's like hitting the bag. You let some steam out. Sure you get sore initially but you end up feeling better than you did before.

Anyways 4am and my resting in bad has been 127bpm. Lowest 118 highest 132.

Deuces ☮
 
Im a obsessive person and one of the best feelings there is is to play some pc game while high on amphetamines. It isnt that fun on itself but I love the tunnel vision.
 
Why do I always have to wait for something to feel like myself?

Getting money for drugs -> getting drugs -> getting to use drugs -> getting to use more drugs -> getting money for drugs...
 
schizopath said:
Im a obsessive person and one of the best feelings there is is to play some pc game while high on amphetamines. It isnt that fun on itself but I love the tunnel vision.
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Absolutely! I am the same, I feel the need to take something alongside doing something that should be fun on its own, always have!

thats what i want to combat the need to take something just to enjoy something normal, thats 90% of my problem
 
FatBellyWhipSlay said:
Absolutely! I am the same, I feel the need to take something alongside doing something that should be fun on its own, always have!

thats what i want to combat the need to take something just to enjoy something normal, thats 90% of my problem
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I wish playing was as good as before drugs. I cant tunnel vision playing as well as before. Drugs are like nowadays what games used to be before. I mean its okay to play something but holy fucking shit drugs are sadly at the top.

I still havent bought The Fallen Order :/
 
You can focus/train on getting better @ video games in a sober state and become quite proficient. I just like to play for fun/etc and try not to be too obsessed with "performance/winning" vs fun.
 
I just shut off a couple friends who use, stopped a drug deal right in its tracks, and am thinking about getting rid of my stash.

Fuckkkk this shit i'm so twisted up inside it's like i am feeling guilt, for once.

Maybe it's my bipolar acting up, because i usually don't give this many fucks about my recovery.

I just don't want to go to jail, holmes.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
how can we help bro

what's going on

we're here to talk it out, are you having mental health problems, just cravings, or just like general unpleasant sensations like irritability/restlessness?

3 weeks I'm assuming off opiates or is this more than just opiates or a diff drug/category?

3 weeks off anything is a *huge* accomplishment, feel good that you're not feeling better yet but you will if you keep up the hard work, it WILL pay off I promise. <3
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Thanks for your concern.

I'm at about 40 days of no drugs whatsoever (being off opiates and cannabis were the drugs i was on before). I am feeling great on certain days when life is going perfect (except for feeling a void that drugs filled) one little problem and I am craving to use drugs, like today for example. some of the stuff that gets me into those depression spells where i crave using is just so petty.

So far i've avoided relapse even having drugs in the house the whole time. i am afraid of losing the balance i've attained in life since quitting, but damn do i want to use. I don't really know how anyone can help. I've been going to NA 3x a week and have a sponsor, it seems to help as long as i go a lot, each day the battle begins anew and i have to just tell myself i won't use and to wait till tomorrow. I tell myself this everyday.

I tell myself that if i'm going to relapse, i better being feeling miserable for like a couple weeks straight, with no breaks in the misery. and relapsing must be a thought out decision not an impulse decision. The more I think about it the more I realize relapse is the wrong choice. I sort of regret that I can't just impulsively swallow pills anymore. I used to purposely swallow a big dose before i had a chance to think about it and feel guilty, now i can't seem to do that anymore and i upset about that in a strange way.

i miss the drugs though, I have not relaxed sinnce getting clean. i litterally work until i go to sleep every single day. Any breaks from work are occupied by another activity, it doesn't seem healthy but its how its been.

today i'm depressed because my back hurts and all of my plans to do a fun outdoor activity i had been looking forward to for about a month are gone. i will stay in my bed working for 14 hrs a day probably instead, maybe go out to a movie with my wife but thats it.

chinup said:
feeling much better today cos i got a kitten!!!! introducing him to my 11 year old cat is a bit daunting but i'll think about that later, right now i'm basking in his cuteness.
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if i could just keep getting kittens forever this sober thing would be easier. I've got a full grown cat and he's cool but kittens are kittens.
 
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