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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

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That's a great lesson to learn before you have worse consequences!! Learning that while your family, business and life is intact is a blessing brother. You could have only had this realization in much, much worse circumstances! Hopefully you've come through the worst of the WD. There's always a point where it gets to the worst it's going to be, and then the only way is up from there, and the withdrawals are way more manageable when you know they're getting better and the worst is behind you. Keep at it man.
Bruv after countless wd i know i broken its back now let's welcome the depression that this time i wont try to lift with crack I'm done with drugs only pregab wd to go and that i took slow so will get back down to 900 mg a day and jump by end of Jan . Rio ive had enough now my brother im 44 years old my body not able to take drugs like i did heroin is bliss you know it that why we do it but the rattle and recovery to bad . I have started really have bad guilt to what im doing to my loved ones this is selfish behaviour whatever way i try to put it . What i got left 20 years with my life of drug abuse i could drop at any point really im in that age bracket how much time have i given to my wife and kids compared to brown or crank crack coke selfish behaviour .Dont be me bruv you young turn it around my brother it goes by real quick .
 
Its been since Saturday evening around 3pm that I've done anything. I honestly feel like death and am feeling insane amounts of depression and self hatred. How much longer do I have untill I can feel better than the day before. My girlfriend is shoveling Xanax and colonopin along with bites of food/water here and there trying to help me stay sedated because im the type of addict that gets supper emotional and wants to cause pain to my self to dull how withdrawl feels. I feel insane. I can't lay in bed 24 hours a day but when I get up I find myself going right back to the bed room.
 
^You’re halfway there bro. Keep it up. It’s gonna be a long road but everything’s temporary. I’m at a week myself. Took my last dose of bupe this morning. Hang in there bud!
 
Its been since Saturday evening around 3pm that I've done anything. I honestly feel like death and am feeling insane amounts of depression and self hatred. How much longer do I have untill I can feel better than the day before. My girlfriend is shoveling Xanax and colonopin along with bites of food/water here and there trying to help me stay sedated because im the type of addict that gets supper emotional and wants to cause pain to my self to dull how withdrawl feels. I feel insane. I can't lay in bed 24 hours a day but when I get up I find myself going right back to the bed room.
u are really lucky to have your girlfriend there, imagine if you were alone... been in both ends, also been the girlfriend lol
maybe the meds you're taking are not helping you
 
Its been since Saturday evening around 3pm that I've done anything. I honestly feel like death and am feeling insane amounts of depression and self hatred. How much longer do I have untill I can feel better than the day before. My girlfriend is shoveling Xanax and colonopin along with bites of food/water here and there trying to help me stay sedated because im the type of addict that gets supper emotional and wants to cause pain to my self to dull how withdrawl feels. I feel insane. I can't lay in bed 24 hours a day but when I get up I find myself going right back to the bed room.
Bruv it feels like its never gonna end but it does 2 days ago i felt like shit today i had some sleep and you know what i feel much better it will end. Lay in bed all day if you have to get these few days out the way and think how much better your life will be . This morning i had a shower and did not have to smoke no gear that feels so good get the wd out the way however possible these few days means fuck all you doing this for your future
 
@ieatstamps if you can get yourself to day 4 (assuming you're clucking from dark) you should be seeing improvements every day.

everyone trying to get clean at the moment: i cannot emphasise this enough. the rattle is the start - the real work comes after and it is the psychological work of getting to the roots of your addiction, finding out what drugs are doing for you, and finding a healthy way to meet those needs.
 
Bruv it feels like its never gonna end but it does 2 days ago i felt like shit today i had some sleep and you know what i feel much better it will end. Lay in bed all day if you have to get these few days out the way and think how much better your life will be . This morning i had a shower and did not have to smoke no gear that feels so good get the wd out the way however possible these few days means fuck all you doing this for your future

Great advice!! Whatever has to be done to overcome withdrawals, we have to do it! It certainly pales in significance when we think of the YEARS we have wasted to our addictions!
 
Great advice!! Whatever has to be done to overcome withdrawals, we have to do it! It certainly pales in significance when we think of the YEARS we have wasted to our addictions!
Hundred per cent brother all the years we waste so what if we do fuck all during the week of wd and the weeks of recovery. We are getting better from a disease ill be honest io do fuck all apart from the 2 showers a day i take
 
How you doing rio how you feeling what day you on now if you not counting even better dont have to answer the question. Today I just had a bacon sandwich with a runny egg on top my brother it felt better then smoking some brown sorry about the moans on day three i was just feeling down was fed up with the whole thing. I got my baby girl asleep on sofa with wife life not bad . How bad the snow in the midlands heard you had snow want to come to john bonhams grave which is in a village called Rushock is that near you bruv .
 
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glad you are feeling better @yubacity! i'm near manc at my parents and the snow is very snowy today. got fog too so its like horror movie weather. the first day it fell i walked 9km through it before it went all shitty, was a gruelling walk but very pretty. feel like i'm done with snow now. its novel for one day but now its had a few days of thaw/freeze going outside is an icy death trap.
 
How you doing rio how you feeling what day you on now if you not counting even better dont have to answer the question. Today I just had a bacon sandwich with a runny egg on top my brother it felt better then smoking some brown sorry about the moans on day three i was just feeling down was fed up with the whole thing. I got my baby girl asleep on sofa with wife life not bad . How bad the snow in the midlands heard you had snow want to come to john bonhams grave which is in a village called Rushock is that near you bruv .

What's John Bonhams grave?? Never heard of it man.

Don't apologize for venting. That's what this place is for. If I tell my "normal" friends & family that I'm clean but I feel like using and all that's on my mind is a shot, they think I'm insane and could even get angry with me. If I say it on here, people actually understand and sympathize, and that's why it's so important to connect with like-minded people!

Yeah we've had a lot of snow. It's stopped me from going running but I love snow to be honest - I've read that snow is really good for people with seasonal affective disorder because it reflects light, and I've always noticed that when it's snowed and everything is glistening, white & beautiful that I feel so much better than when it's dark and grey. I'm going out for walks in it to make the most of it. How's it round by you?

You've gotten through the worst of it yuba!! Keep going man.

I'm on day 15 today. I feel a little down but it's to be expected. I've noticed that even though my mood is all over the place I can at least rely on the fact that my mind becomes clearer, and the fog of when I first quit drugs doesn't ever come back as long as I stay clean. That brain damaged hazy feeling where it feels like my brain has been wrapped in cotton wool - that retreats and it doesn't come back. Even though there are days like today where I feel a little down, my mind is still clear, and I really enjoy that.

I've tried out a couple of new online recovery meetings. I'm still doing SMART but I've also added Refuge Recovery which is the buddhist take which was awesome and LifeRing which was basically like the best part of an AA meeting - the sharing, conversational part - extended to a whole meeting, which was awesome. To keep busy, I'm going to alternate between all 3. They don't clash at all - SMART gives the specific tools to manage cravings, Refuge elaborates on the spiritual part with meditation and LifeRing is just a way to connect with other people in recovery. I'm getting a lot out of them, so to @yubacity or @chinup or anyone else who might be struggling, I can't recommend them enough.
 
glad you are feeling better @yubacity! i'm near manc at my parents and the snow is very snowy today. got fog too so its like horror movie weather. the first day it fell i walked 9km through it before it went all shitty, was a gruelling walk but very pretty. feel like i'm done with snow now. its novel for one day but now its had a few days of thaw/freeze going outside is an icy death trap.

haha that's where we differ! I'd be more than happy to be snowed in until it's Spring. I dread the return of the grey, dark miserable weather that usually comes January - the weather around my birthday is either snowy or just miserable usually.

How are you chinup? How you getting on with the drinking??
 
What's John Bonhams grave?? Never heard of it man.

Don't apologize for venting. That's what this place is for. If I tell my "normal" friends & family that I'm clean but I feel like using and all that's on my mind is a shot, they think I'm insane and could even get angry with me. If I say it on here, people actually understand and sympathize, and that's why it's so important to connect with like-minded people!

Yeah we've had a lot of snow. It's stopped me from going running but I love snow to be honest - I've read that snow is really good for people with seasonal affective disorder because it reflects light, and I've always noticed that when it's snowed and everything is glistening, white & beautiful that I feel so much better than when it's dark and grey. I'm going out for walks in it to make the most of it. How's it round by you?

You've gotten through the worst of it yuba!! Keep going man.

I'm on day 15 today. I feel a little down but it's to be expected. I've noticed that even though my mood is all over the place I can at least rely on the fact that my mind becomes clearer, and the fog of when I first quit drugs doesn't ever come back as long as I stay clean. That brain damaged hazy feeling where it feels like my brain has been wrapped in cotton wool - that retreats and it doesn't come back. Even though there are days like today where I feel a little down, my mind is still clear, and I really enjoy that.

I've tried out a couple of new online recovery meetings. I'm still doing SMART but I've also added Refuge Recovery which is the buddhist take which was awesome and LifeRing which was basically like the best part of an AA meeting - the sharing, conversational part - extended to a whole meeting, which was awesome. To keep busy, I'm going to alternate between all 3. They don't clash at all - SMART gives the specific tools to manage cravings, Refuge elaborates on the spiritual part with meditation and LifeRing is just a way to connect with other people in recovery. I'm getting a lot out of them, so to @yubacity or @chinup or anyone else who might be struggling, I can't recommend them enough.
LOL bruv im old john Bonham was the drummer for led zeppelin and in my opinon the greatest rock drummer ever always wanted to visit his grave because i love the band and his drumming.

Got over the rattle but today been in those moods where the world seem a mess and have a feeling something about to go wrong i know it the depression hitting and trying to be cheerful but it fucking hard .


You doing good bro i hate that. feeling in addiction where you feel neither awake or asleep like a walking zombie feels so good after wd when you can feel your brain and thoughts becoming clearer.


Today after all the bland christmas food which good but my punjabi taste buds craving a lamb curry but problem is my punjabi butcher also sells poppy pods shal i test my resolve and go on my own or take my wife .


Normal friends can never understand how we crave heroin or crack after getting clean they just think withdrawls over thats that done and dusted. My wife been on this rollacoaster i been on with me but she still can never know how we can want to do the drug again. Even as i type im getting excited about going to punjabi butcher and getting pods how after washing them down how good it will feel as my stomach extract the morphine as i listen to music while puffing on a fag fucking bliss thats the curry fucked of i dont want to even go there


I not going to do it but you know after nearly a week of the gear the feeling you have when you know the gear out your system and that you can use some just for the day and get a good buzz and not really be knocked back into any withdrawals . I be honest cant really be bothered to cook a slow cook lamb curry but just trying to make a excuse to go to the butchers and get some pods this my favorite band and the drummer i talking about
 
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glad you are feeling better @yubacity! i'm near manc at my parents and the snow is very snowy today. got fog too so its like horror movie weather. the first day it fell i walked 9km through it before it went all shitty, was a gruelling walk but very pretty. feel like i'm done with snow now. its novel for one day but now its had a few days of thaw/freeze going outside is an icy death trap.
chin up mate im the same as you love the first of the snow when everything look pretty but hate it when the snow get dirty and slush .
 
@yubacity @Rio Fantastic @chinup
Glad you all are doing well. It’s nice to hear all my fellow perpetual strugglers from across the pond. I wish I could share some of my sunshine and warmth with you. There hasn’t been snow here for probably 100 years. It hailed a bit last storm we had though and everything looks so green and beautiful right now.
And Rio dude come on! Who’s John Bonham? What’s wrong with you? 😆 Congrats on getting past 2 weeks though! That is quite an achievement. I’m almost there.
 
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@yubacity
Lamb Curry > your recovery and well-being.
Haha JK. At least take your woman with you. I hate the idea of making complex meals, but I end up enjoying it and reaping the benefits. I say go for it. It could be a great way to distract yourself from the bullshit storm in your head. And I’m sure your family would be pleased as well. I love most things curry. Send some my way too!
 
whereabouts did you say you were @cowboycurtis? for some reason i seem to think its northern california. i would love some of that sunshine right now! stuck inside cos my parents live on a hill and the roads too icy to walk safely along. and my new tyranical master, this fitness watch, only registered 10 mins of the absolutely excruciating youtube workout i did this morning so now it will look like i didn't hit my goal even though i fucking did!!!

i'm so lethargic from being inside for the past 2 days. i'd promised myself i wouldn't drink today but now i don't know if i can't be arsed. january isn't far away and i've already decided to try not to drink for the entirety of it.
 
^SoCal actually but I’ve been all over the state. Ya I hear ya on the fitness. I’ve been looking forward to getting into shape again. Get back to being healthy instead of looking like a skeleton. I’ve been finding myself wanting to drink too lately, but I often find that it just gets me sick now.
 
@yubacity
Lamb Curry > your recovery and well-being.
Haha JK. At least take your woman with you. I hate the idea of making complex meals, but I end up enjoying it and reaping the benefits. I say go for it. It could be a great way to distract yourself from the bullshit storm in your head. And I’m sure your family would be pleased as well. I love most things curry. Send some my way too!
Took my wife with me my brother stopped the struggle in my head whether to by a box of ground poppy pods along with my 2 kg of lamb chops. Will cook the curry tommorow nice and slow for about 4 hours . Dont know if my stomach can handle the spices yet so soon after withdrawals but gives me something to do

How are you doing my brother once im back in yubacity ill send you a curry
 
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I’m sorry guys. I know you don’t judge. We’ve all been there, but I feel like such a hypocrite being so positive with people while I’m clean but then turning around and getting high again. I know my advice is more than genuine, as is my desire to help people on the same path, but sometimes I can’t seem to follow my own advice. I mean exactly what I say when I say it, but addiction is a beast and unfortunately I succumbed today. I am so depressed right now though. Would honestly rather be sober at this point. Not enjoying being high one bit.
 
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