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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
8,475
Day 2 starting already. Day two without any pain medication. I didn't even take a naproxen yesterday because I couldn't swallow it.
Then had to work my shift too. Job.

Those naproxen are 550 mg's and this big chunk of shit. It want even dissolve. It burns like badly on the skin. Harsh.

So no more drugs for day two. The naproxen is getting a bit horrible. No drugs except THC. weed dabs flower whatever the duck it's being called now. And fuck you world lol.You have your coffee tea and booze and cigarettes. So no marijuana isn't a drug either then. Never will be and hasn't.

I just want to get back up and do things again like I used to or at least once in a while. Aspirin doesnt help my pain. And pain managing my meds help me so much. I don't even need much. It stays in for at least a three day window for metabolizing.

I'm still going to try to get up and do things. I have to. I need to. I want to. I need strength ffs. And I'm not going to get that laying around. Wtf now bring out the oxygen tank and just lay here. I do make it through my shifts. Work. But it is because I have to. Had to take naproxen to get through a few bad days. Its too much 550mg's I will cut back. Hurts. Harsh.

Maybe there is a pain clinic that can help. But those used to be called pill mills. lol. Oh now wtf next. I see why weed is legal now !!! Because everybody must get stoned. What !? Stupid fat obese over indulging fat arse greedy americans. ffs alreadyyyyy. No one really hears what I am saying. But that's okay because God does. And BL.
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
Staff member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
2,006
Location
The Belly of The Beast
no booze since june
no subs since the 12th
still snortin
not slammin but I got box of rigs
kratom

still dont wanna move
fuck work
fuck bills
just let time envelope

just wanna drink

same old trip again
into the flood we go

man in the box
buried in my shit
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R
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Aug 1, 2010
Messages
4,138
Location
Greatest city on Earth
i am really drunk and not exactly proud of myself. potentiated it with benzos and codeine (in solpadiene). actually considered buying spirits today. not good. i've cut down my drinking enough to avoid any stomach symptoms for the past few weeks, but i can't buy spirits. it will set me on a bad path. i really need to go back to complete abstinence but i've crossed a line in my head and its hard to get back to the right side of it.
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
8,475
I caved and chipped a piece of hydrocodone yesterday. One persons Kindle is someone's Bonfire.
Still don't know what the stomach cramp is all from.
I wish I knew if the gabapentin will take away stomach ache or if I should wait three days. If I can. I have been on a trial. I'm scare. And work triggered my stress too. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
 

yubacity

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 13, 2018
Messages
1,092
Location
u.k
i am really drunk and not exactly proud of myself. potentiated it with benzos and codeine (in solpadiene). actually considered buying spirits today. not good. i've cut down my drinking enough to avoid any stomach symptoms for the past few weeks, but i can't buy spirits. it will set me on a bad path. i really need to go back to complete abstinence but i've crossed a line in my head and its hard to get back to the right side of it.
but you can back over the line chinup fuck the spirits and codiene atleast mate you not got any spirits yet so camn avoid bad path.Dont try to think of spirits that will make it easier to step over the next line and the shit will start . You got a new job to look forward to mate
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
8,475
I nefer tried it before. I already have pain issue. But I don't have nerve issue anymore. I already pain issues. I don't need brain damage issues now everyday. I can make it three days but have trouble now when I have to go back to work on thursday and friday. Maybe I can do it this time without GARBAGEPENTIN ! But I nefer tried it and don't want to puke any worse than I already HURT. ffs already.
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R
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argh @Hylight i hope you resolve your stomach issues soon, you don't need that on top of everything else!

but you can back over the line chinup fuck the spirits and codiene atleast mate you not got any spirits yet so camn avoid bad path.Dont try to think of spirits that will make it easier to step over the next line and the shit will start . You got a new job to look forward to mate

you're right, i'm glad i didn't buy spirits. i passed out at some point and woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for ages, the clonazepam was supposed to prevent that.

i hope i am just doing this now cos i can. i have run out of work to do and am on my own. i really hope it magically stops when i start my new job, and i think i can pull that off cos part of why i got so fucked up last night is cos it literally doesn't matter what state i'm in this morning. my boyf is coming tomorrow so he should keep me on the straight and narrow, and i'm really busy in my week between jobs so won't be able to risk being fucked in the morning.
 

yubacity

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 13, 2018
Messages
1,092
Location
u.k
argh @Hylight i hope you resolve your stomach issues soon, you don't need that on top of everything else!



you're right, i'm glad i didn't buy spirits. i passed out at some point and woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for ages, the clonazepam was supposed to prevent that.

i hope i am just doing this now cos i can. i have run out of work to do and am on my own. i really hope it magically stops when i start my new job, and i think i can pull that off cos part of why i got so fucked up last night is cos it literally doesn't matter what state i'm in this morning. my boyf is coming tomorrow so he should keep me on the straight and narrow, and i'm really busy in my week between jobs so won't be able to risk being fucked in the morning.
You done well mate . Be honest when you said a few days ago you got a little break between jobs a part of me thought you got free time and that never easy for us .

Your boyfriend coming will help put your mind elsewhere and you got shit to do in the week of between work. Does your boyfriend have a habbit or is he clean

Chinup do you exercise daily that helps a lot also meditation . I do bag work weights and running daily it helps. My wife coming to be with me she thinks I'm on something which i am today i relapsed on opium have had pods valium and pregabs . I wont lie im flying but with wife coming i thought i have a last good one got packets ordered they coming go ammonia will make a crack pipe and get smashed tomorrow the wd starts a week of hell and then wife arrive i be clean.

Going to enjoy wife arriving just us two together plus my little baby girl will be so good
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
8,475
So I was going to take a nerrrrve pill (nuerotton)
but but I scraped a bit of hydrocodone off of a pill. A 10mg. A half of a half aproximatly, but Yeah !

Ohhhh yeah. The good ones. But they really are.

I was not doing well shaking a bit so I smoked a little bit on a dab. Feel better now. I can't get up and do things though. It's really weird. If I get up I will probably get a headache and nauseous again.

But eventually I have to. Back on two day work shift. I have to get my place picked up. I'm doing good kinda so far with working extra hours and all. But it is killing me.

I think it's just mostly extreme fatigue. And having to quit pain relief again.
I am trying hard.

Because I don't want to take that gaba garbage pentin. Gabapentin has to be garbage. It's some kind of a chemical. And it's not mushrooms.

I would be less worried about my brain on mushrooms (honestly) that that stupid shit.

I would do coke if it was clean and all. Yeah right I can barely get up to clean the kitchen.
Now what ?

I haven't touched that bottle of fuck'd up shhhit gabapentin yet. Ehhhhh heeeee heee. Talk about dying. I am dying here of pain ever day. Wah Waaamh Wah. Whining like a over indulging lazy fat arse fat asss american yay yaaaaa. so there.

When I get up I'm goin ta be in pain. Or nauseous from no pain pill. Lol. there. This is giving me the mental problems. And explains the xanax.

But try not to be in pain and fuck youuu says the universe. good riddance who needs you fucking universe anyway. I can just pray myself to death with an oxygen tank and I will be just fine. 😁
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
8,475
Oh my for goodness sake.
So I took a half of a half so won't won't be hopefully tldr lol. so 2mg.
So could I just get another 2.5 to take and then jump from .5. It shouldn't matter right. But I'm in pain.
I can't even get up if I do decide to get a hit. lol.
I'm broken. Please God help mee. But really lol.
Or is it just my brain trying to trick me. God I hope death isn't this annoying, sailor.
ofi

Go
awd I'm getting a headache. It might be avatar. 😭
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R
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Joined
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@Hylight i'm not sure i completely understand your posts, but if you're getting a headache get away from the screens! honestly they're awful..... but also convenient for complaining about your headache lol.

@yubacity how you doing mate? kinda jealous if you're having proper ammonia cooked crack. hope you're well by the time your wife and baba come. i'm free of my job!!!! but i bought spiritis..... but those little tins of g+t not like a bottle of actualy spirits, so i don't think it counts....

anyway i'm off to practise my bass before i get too drunk to play.
 

yubacity

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 13, 2018
Messages
1,092
Location
u.k
How you doing chinup mate those little cans of dont have much in it but it going the spirit way try your best not to change to spirits proper after getting a little taste.

That was a good night my mate that rent my house got involved ammonia crack was so good knock you on arse good . we had blasts all night i got it out my system i took oramorph afterwards chilled out ate and went to sleep. I got loads of pregabs left so decided will taper slowly and then jump my mate in charge because i cant taper
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
8,475
Sometimes I can make it three days without medication.
Yeah yes, Isn't that somethin.
So far so good !
I wish there was something to take. But since there isn't I need all of my medication for pain.

Oh yes. I said it. But it sure was great being blasted outta my mind even in pain management. Tee hee he. NOT.

Okay. Not accomplishing a whole lot. Except for being off of drugs. Ouch.

This is so embarrassing. Just a lazy slard ass I am and have turned into. It's just sad. But mostly disgusting. And yah. I'm going to get better !
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
8,475


Full Moon Blessing

DON'T CRY OVER THE past, IT'S GONE.

DON'T STRESS ABOUT THE future, IT HASN'T ARRIVED.

LIVE IN THE present AND MAKE IT ♡


Beautiful


🌚
 

birdup.snaildown

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
674
51 days sober today.

Got to a point seven and a half weeks ago where I almost killed myself driving high and drunk, punched through a glass window then went to score bleeding profusely from wrist where the glass shards cut me. My missus was going to leave me and take my daughter with her. Figured it was probably time for a break.

I promised a year of sobriety.
 
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