Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

[chinup]

glad you didn't relapse @Atelier3 - this is the sort of reason why NA tell you to change people, places and things. those associations are fucking strong. we also tend to assume that cravings will arise in certain situations, i.e. when things are difficult and stuff, so prepare well for those, and completely forget about the mundane things we associate with drugs.

i am reasonably hopeful that i will have a job offer by the end of this week, or monday morning at the latest. will be broken if its not the case, two recruiters are telling me two different companies are in the process of finalising things to make me an offer.

 

[yubacity]

Was close to a relapse yesterday. Got as far as asking my friend if they had a smoke. Which is weird because I don’t actually have any cravings. It was purely a contextual trigger. In that situation I normally would have got high so it seemed natural and unproblematic.

So glad they didn’t and therefore I didn’t. Onwards and upwards.

I find when im near to relapsing is follow the steps . First you will smoke some gear then feel like shit then carry it on to the second day now if you had a habit before you proberly going to feel a little shitty then by time week gone you know you will have wd then that fear drags it out. Like i tell Rio you know what brain doing tell it to fuck off .

 

[chinup]

most broken sleep i have had in a long time. glad its friday.

please please please let me be offered a job today fucking please i would love to go into the weekend with this weight off my mind.

 

[Atelier3]

most broken sleep i have had in a long time. glad its friday.

please please please let me be offered a job today fucking please i would love to go into the weekend with this weight off my mind.

Fingers crossed! I hope you get it.

 

[chinup]

yaaaaaassssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[yubacity]

yaaaaaassssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I take it you got the job mate

 

[chinup]

yes mate!!! get the fuck in!!

its a really cool job, i don't have to move cities, and also better paid than my current one. i've been broke since i ended up renting a whole house by myself cos my housemate had a mental breakdown and moved out, so i am super chuffed. though less chuffed to start paying 40% tax.

actually just checked i will not be paying 40% tax but who gives a shit i don't wanna give the government my hard earned money anyway.

 

[yubacity]

yes mate!!! get the fuck in!!

its a really cool job, i don't have to move cities, and also better paid than my current one. i've been broke since i ended up renting a whole house by myself cos my housemate had a mental breakdown and moved out, so i am super chuffed. though less chuffed to start paying 40% tax.

actually just checked i will not be paying 40% tax but who gives a shit i don't wanna give the government my hard earned money anyway.

Congratulations mate im so happy for you . I hate giving the tory scum my money over half our money go to the state only to see people in wheelchairs waiting outside food banks . But fuck that you got a job celebrate with caution my friend enjoy your weekend

 

[Hylight]

It's a smashing beautiful day today ! Like as in great weather. I am going to go out and try to walk around at least.

 

[yubacity]

Was a nice day wasted it being smashed on pregabs. How was your day . How is your shoulder

 

[yubacity]

It's a smashing beautiful day today ! Like as in great weather. I am going to go out and try to walk around at least.

Hylight bruv how is your shoulder is it getting better

 

[chinup]

had a totally lazy day today, was supposed to be working but fuck it, last 2 weeks of a job and working from home what do you expect.

hiked to mam torr (along with the rest of the fucking north of england, was so crowded, i'd never go in summer you'd practically queue all the way up!) yesterday, then when i got home i got this really weird, intense allergy thing. i have no idea what causes it, its happened a couple of times recently, but it always destroys me the next day. will get private health with my new job so maybe i can try and actually do something about it.

 

[yubacity]

had a totally lazy day today, was supposed to be working but fuck it, last 2 weeks of a job and working from home what do you expect.

hiked to mam torr (along with the rest of the fucking north of england, was so crowded, i'd never go in summer you'd practically queue all the way up!) yesterday, then when i got home i got this really weird, intense allergy thing. i have no idea what causes it, its happened a couple of times recently, but it always destroys me the next day. will get private health with my new job so maybe i can try and actually do something about it.

How you doing chinup hope your allergies get better is it food or the outdoors . Rio not been on here for a bit hope he ok had quite a few days chalked of hope he good

 

[chinup]

no idea what actually caused that bout of allergies, its completely random. but in general i get hayfever and dusy allergies. its the one thing i really miss about the dark, i never had allergies then.

still nothing from rio, getting worried.

 

[seedee]

234 days off suboxone and about a week at 1 beer a day. woke up feeling good today. feels good..

 

[yubacity]

no idea what actually caused that bout of allergies, its completely random. but in general i get hayfever and dusy allergies. its the one thing i really miss about the dark, i never had allergies then.

still nothing from rio, getting worried.

Me to mate normally if he away from here for a time he using.

I am the same when using nothing I could drive past a field of rapeseed and nothing after I quit I swear if im driving down the motorway I start getting the syptoms of hayfever miles before I see rapeseed.

 

[chinup]

Me to mate normally if he away from here for a time he using.

yeah exactly, and it seemed like he was doing pretty well. he needs to get in fucking rehab right now. @Rio Fantastic tagging just cos i feel bad talking abou you behind your back but its from a place of love.

how are you doing?

i'm emotionally exhausted due to the whole getting a job business being finally over. slowly recovering.

 

[yubacity]

We not really talking behind his back its because we give a shit. He needs to stop seeing his mates that use no addict in recovery can resist.

Must be horrible not knowing if you got a job thinking about it all the time. You got the job you be alright after a few weeks. I'm in a pregab frenzy at the moment I will have withdrawals just getting ready for them have to stop first but the fear of withdrawal is shitting me up. I got a shit load of pregabs so will try the slow taper method but I never been able to. I can't stick to one I get a little buzz going and think fuck it start tomorrow. But fuck it only six days of bad wd then it calms down but those six days is pure hell. When you start your new job chinup .

 

[chinup]

yeah exactly. and yeah seeing people who use is never going to work.

my new job starts mid november, current one finishes next week, wahey!!

6 days of withdrawal is fucking awful, i could never taper either though. is it like benzo withdrawal?

 

[yubacity]

yeah exactly. and yeah seeing people who use is never going to work.

my new job starts mid november, current one finishes next week, wahey!!

6 days of withdrawal is fucking awful, i could never taper either though. is it like benzo withdrawal?

I have never had a benzo wd but people say it's similar its pure mental hell not worse than heroin but more mental for me I never thought of suicide on wd from gear but have on pregab wd. But for me after 6 days the wd just goes away and no paws I get from brown. I touched down at Heathrow while waiting for fucking baggage I turned my UK mobile on and sorted the pregabs out in the states apart from weed nothing else. I know I have to be back and forth for my business but I treat the UK as a drug getaway now. And to be honest i love this place my mates everything about it but our families in california and my wife and kids love their life there .


You have a little break between jobs that must feel good mate. You doing good things looking up for you makes me happy I know you and me-only chat on here but I get happy when people like us sort our lives out and go in the right direction life is hard being normal but its real-life the ups and downs all part of it we use to keep life a constant up and forget all the downs that come with it. Pretty soon you wont hear from m,e for a week I be getting of these but been through it many times but still shitting it just got to get the balls to start the wd