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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

chinup

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sorry for the v late reply guys. i'm feeling a bit better but still apathetic and just wanting to get fucked up.

lol i'll take the free smack though @Rio Fantastic am pretty sure i'll still want it in a week. don't wanna risk your recovery though.
 

Atelier3

Moderator: DC
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Unexpectedly smoked a teeny-tiny point of meth the night before last when it was offered by a lady I was about to bang. Given I didn't really enjoy it, instantly regretted it, got tina dick, and it was so far removed from IV'ing a gram a day I'm not too worried. I still see myself as in recovery and still feel very strong and committed to my meth sobriety. I'm not into counting days and just see it as a blip if anything - nothing to feel depressed or shameful about. Although I do feel a little bit flat today from the normal consequences of using meth. However, am doing lots of exercise today and going off to help a good friend move furniture with my truck which is really lifting my spirits.
 
Joined
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Unexpectedly smoked a teeny-tiny point of meth the night before last when it was offered by a lady I was about to bang. Given I didn't really enjoy it, instantly regretted it, got tina dick, and it was so far removed from IV'ing a gram a day I'm not too worried. I still see myself as in recovery and still feel very strong and committed to my meth sobriety. I'm not into counting days and just see it as a blip if anything - nothing to feel depressed or shameful about. Although I do feel a little bit flat today from the normal consequences of using meth. However, am doing lots of exercise today and going off to help a good friend move furniture with my truck which is really lifting my spirits.
That’s the only attitude in recovery. Fuck your addiction, it doesn’t define you anymore. Keep with the sober folks and don’t beat yourself up for relapsing. This is a process, and as long as you are in a recovery mind frame, meth addiction can never take you. You’re gonna have to use your tools (sober support network, AA/NA SMART recovery etc), if you don’t have those tools, please find them like your life depended on it.

This is a process that you can overcome if you are committed to your recovery. It gets easier with a support network and sober friends that are real and not just internet people.

Keep posting here and on other recovery forums regardless of where you’re at in sobriety (it helps to keep a log). Addiction didn’t happen all at once and don’t expect recovery to happen all at once. Recovery is a process and a mind set.

All of us in recovery go out of our way to support other addicts. That’s how addiction help works, and keeps you held up and not alone. You are not alone in this!

I have more to say...

🧙‍♂️
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R
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ha @Atelier3 , i would chalk up anything that puts you off doing meth again as a good thing. this is also why i don't count days, days clean is not the same as amount of recovery.

though i've recently gained more sympathy for the complete abstinence route cos allowing myself the odd drink has started to progress to wanting to never be sober.
 

chinup

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very true @Hylight

hope everyone is doing well. i'm not really. mood is much better, but planning to get very drunk at my friends house today, and still intending to score when i get back to mine this weekend. then somehow go back to complete abstinence.

i've not slept well at all this week, to the point tiredness is just making me feel ill. i've not had sleep issues this bad since i got out of rehab.

yesterday it was 2 years to the day since i went to rehab.
 

Hylight

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Jan 4, 2019
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Ween, taper, cut back asap.

Sometimes less is more.

I am glad rehab is a good reminder to stay safe and to keep healthy at an optimum.
 

chinup

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been back at mine just a couple of hours and have my mate on her way over with 3 of each. really hope it doesn't turn out to be as bad an idea as it sounds.
 

Rio Fantastic

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@chinup remember this slip could have been prevented. You planned it out, and I always say that if someone is willing to live with the consequences of using then they should feel free to do it. Was it all you expected? Was it worth it? Are you sober now or back on it full time?
 

Rio Fantastic

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i quit eating sugar. god i need a hit.
Congrats on quitting sugar! I managed to reduce sugar massively - going from sugar binges every evening with whole packs of biscuits and 3 - 7 chocolate bars - to just a couple biscuits and 1 chocolate bar, but when I cut it out completely I obsess over it. However, if it's a choice between sugar and taking a hit then for gods sake get some sugar!!
 

Rio Fantastic

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That’s the only attitude in recovery. Fuck your addiction, it doesn’t define you anymore. Keep with the sober folks and don’t beat yourself up for relapsing. This is a process, and as long as you are in a recovery mind frame, meth addiction can never take you. You’re gonna have to use your tools (sober support network, AA/NA SMART recovery etc), if you don’t have those tools, please find them like your life depended on it.

This is a process that you can overcome if you are committed to your recovery. It gets easier with a support network and sober friends that are real and not just internet people.

Keep posting here and on other recovery forums regardless of where you’re at in sobriety (it helps to keep a log). Addiction didn’t happen all at once and don’t expect recovery to happen all at once. Recovery is a process and a mind set.

All of us in recovery go out of our way to support other addicts. That’s how addiction help works, and keeps you held up and not alone. You are not alone in this!

I have more to say...

🧙‍♂️
Thats why I like SMART. In 12 step groups, you forever define yourself by your addiction. "My name is Rio Fantastic and I'm an addict". In SMART it teaches you it's a behaviour, not your defining trait. If you stop the behaviour, then you are no longer defined by it. Addiction is a learned behaviour which therefore can be unlearned, not some fundamental defect (mental or spiritual) that needs to be corrected by ethereal spirituality. Forever defining yourself by the worst part of your life is in my opinion not a good strategy for recovery. I disagree with SMART in that it implies there is literally nothing inherent about addiction - I firmly believe there is a genetic predisposition but that doesn't mean anyone is doomed to addiction, just that some people fall into it easier than others. Alcoholics respond in a fundamentally different way to alcohol than non-alcoholics. Addicts seek out and take drugs in a way that would be unthinkable to those without the predisposition. That doesn't mean we can't change it, though.
 

Rio Fantastic

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Unexpectedly smoked a teeny-tiny point of meth the night before last when it was offered by a lady I was about to bang. Given I didn't really enjoy it, instantly regretted it, got tina dick, and it was so far removed from IV'ing a gram a day I'm not too worried. I still see myself as in recovery and still feel very strong and committed to my meth sobriety. I'm not into counting days and just see it as a blip if anything - nothing to feel depressed or shameful about. Although I do feel a little bit flat today from the normal consequences of using meth. However, am doing lots of exercise today and going off to help a good friend move furniture with my truck which is really lifting my spirits.
You can turn that tiny slip into something positive! When you take it and don't like it that's actually really helpful for recovery - if your last memory of using is euphoric & enjoyable then it's more tempting than if the memory is disappointing and uncomfortable. Sounds like you're in a totally different place than you were before. However, I'd recommend not putting yourself in situations where you may be offered drugs. Did you know the woman took meth? If it was me, if I even suspected it I wouldn't go to fuck her and therefore put myself in the position my DOC was right in front of me. I've never been strong enough to resist if it's right in front of me, and testing ourselves like that in early recovery is just unnecessary.
 

Hylight

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
7,338
What does it take to make the best decisions possible on a daily basis., and to have the most coherent and intelligent thought process also.
Will I still be more human than less.
I will start trying then.
I also love the feeling of being outside and breathing fresh air.
Living with energy in this universe is a great gift, when the world feels good somehow.
 

chinup

Moderator: H&R
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sorry for being awol the past couple days. my body can't handle heroin anymore. i ended up scoring again on monday, haven't used since bu tbeen in bed unable to do anything. just been totally wiped.

my boyf is coming on friday after work so will definitely be back on the straight and narrow then, so obviously planning on scoring again tomorrow. ffs. its not like i'm obsessed with it but now i've opened a door, and it turns out its not the dark i want, i mainly want a couple more pipes. they were underwhelming on sunday but on monday was fucking mind blowing. then i need to draw a line under this stupidity.
 

Slater Says

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
79
Location
Tulgey Wood
I want to choose healthy.
Me too!

Unexpectedly smoked a teeny-tiny point of meth the night before last when it was offered by a lady I was about to bang. Given I didn't really enjoy it, instantly regretted it, got tina dick, and it was so far removed from IV'ing a gram a day I'm not too worried. I still see myself as in recovery and still feel very strong and committed to my meth sobriety. I'm not into counting days and just see it as a blip if anything - nothing to feel depressed or shameful about. Although I do feel a little bit flat today from the normal consequences of using meth. However, am doing lots of exercise today and going off to help a good friend move furniture with my truck which is really lifting my spirits.
Glad to see it wasn't too much of a setback for you!
 
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