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Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

Captain.Heroin

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how do i not obsess about lifes problems and not have them consume me completely while trying to stay clean. i can't escape with drugs anymore and my worries are consuming me. i'm 3 weeks clean and in danger of relapsing if it stays like this forever. i need to fix my brain somehow or i will relapse.
how can we help bro

what's going on

we're here to talk it out, are you having mental health problems, just cravings, or just like general unpleasant sensations like irritability/restlessness?

3 weeks I'm assuming off opiates or is this more than just opiates or a diff drug/category?

3 weeks off anything is a *huge* accomplishment, feel good that you're not feeling better yet but you will if you keep up the hard work, it WILL pay off I promise. <3
 
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chinup

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aaarrrggghhh guilty of 136 counts of rape, 190 victims. how the fuck am i supposed to feel safe in this city? and how many people reported this guy and were ignored before the police fucking lifted their fucking fingers? how many people right now are being victimised by similar men and nothing is being done? how many people are experiencing the terror i went through, and never getting any justice because they know the police won't do anything about violence towards drug addicts, and can't do anything cos they'd die if they reported a dealer.

this news story has really upset me. makes me feel so fucking hopeless. i'm fed up with people feeling like its ok to hurt me, no one has ever had any consequences for hurting me, and to know i'd have to be one out of 190 before anything happened in our fucking justice system somehow makes it all worse.

well done schizo.

good luck everyone with your goals for this year.
 

hotfriesmmm

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Mar 9, 2019
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I'm back on the recovery wagon. Went out for a 4 months. Started with smoking hash rosin, then the drinking started. And like an idiot I was eating 20-30 gabapentin a day. I managed to not fuck up my felony probation, so I put myself in a super plush, super lax IOP sober living in Denver. Im basically going to contain myself until I get off probation in May, and spend this time studying for the LSAT. Maybe Ill actually want to stay sober. Right now I have no desire to be sober from THC but everything else. Denver is cool though, I got a membership to a rad gym, that has hot yoga 27 times a week. Starting with a personal trainer tomorrow. The women in Denver are more than plentiful. Which I look forward too.
 

Atelier3

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I am still going strong - 17 days since I had a hit of meth. Am also back on my prescribed psych drugs for bi-polar so hopefully levelling out sanity wise.

But, damn, my “have a shot” fantasies are starting to get to obsession level. It’s likely only I am 5,000 km away from any known source of meth and needles that I’m staying clean.

I arrive back home in 12 days so really hoping my sobriety sticks then and my obsession/mania has died down.

Thanks also for supportive words in the December thread that I forgot to acknowledge @Captain.Heroin and several others .
 

Captain.Heroin

Sr. Moderator: H&R, Words, SLR
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I am still going strong - 17 days since I had a hit of meth. Am also back on my prescribed psych drugs for bi-polar so hopefully levelling out sanity wise.

But, damn, my “have a shot” fantasies are starting to get to obsession level. It’s likely only I am 5,000 km away from any known source of meth and needles that I’m staying clean.

I arrive back home in 12 days so really hoping my sobriety sticks then and my obsession/mania has died down.

Thanks also for supportive words in the December thread that I forgot to acknowledge @Captain.Heroin and several others .
any time, stay safe and stay strong

we're here if you want to talk <3
 

Atelier3

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we're here if you want to talk <3
I just want to get it off my chest that I totally crave, love and totally adore meth and believe I could lead a reasonable life taking it but at the expense of (a) my family (b) my friends (c) a half dozen serious and meaningful life goals I still have an even chance of achieving if I don’t take it.

Fuck it is hard to get meth out of my head and I was only on it for 2 months this time around after a 4 year break (in which I did cool things like graduate grad-school summa cum laude). I am no 12 stepper but that “powerless over [enter your DOC]” is really ringing bells right now.

I really don’t know what my problem / risk is at the moment - i.e. am I just a fucked up meth fanboy or is it my bi-polar mania? The answer might be the difference between long-term rehab and just upping my meds or getting a stronger anti-mania script.

Thanks for listening.
 

Captain.Heroin

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Meth is a very addictive drug to most people who like it sadly.

Keep working w/ the docs on bipolar if you think that is the issue, I can't be the judge of that (if I could I'd tell ya!) and.... don't beat yourself up for the obsession.

Try to like, change the obsession pattern. Let the thoughts happen but remember you have other major wants/desires/passions, and remember them, you can do it!!!
 

madness00

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I just want to get it off my chest that I totally crave, love and totally adore meth and believe I could lead a reasonable life taking it but at the expense of (a) my family (b) my friends (c) a half dozen serious and meaningful life goals I still have an even chance of achieving if I don’t take it.

Fuck it is hard to get meth out of my head and I was only on it for 2 months this time around after a 4 year break (in which I did cool things like graduate grad-school summa cum laude). I am no 12 stepper but that “powerless over [enter your DOC]” is really ringing bells right now.

I really don’t know what my problem / risk is at the moment - i.e. am I just a fucked up meth fanboy or is it my bi-polar mania? The answer might be the difference between long-term rehab and just upping my meds or getting a stronger anti-mania script.

Thanks for listening.
I too have Bipolar disorder and am trying to kick meth. My therapist says the most common comorbid disorder with BP is substance abuse disorder, which i am also diagnosed with.

She says we are constantly chasing that high to mimic mania.

Do you take any meds? I'd be suicidal or in the streets naked without them.
 
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Atelier3

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I too have Bipolar disorder and am trying to kick meth. My therapist says the most common comorbid disorder with BP is substance abuse disorder, which i am also diagnosed with.

She says we are constantly chasing that high to mimic mania.

Do you take any meds? I'd be suicidal or in the streets naked without them.
Thanks - i take prescribed abilify, clonidine, dexamphetamine (because ADHD), and occasionally valium. I sometimes take seroquel if I feel i am totally off the rails or to get over meth when i have no valium left
 

Captain.Heroin

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Awwww

that’s awesome.

I must admit I have not been very smart. Have not taken opiates or bupe. But obviously “coming off everything” and trying to still love myself and others. Hard.
 

madness00

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You can do it CH.

I have had a rough couple of days but looking forward to this stupid fucking duel diagnosis out patient program that i start on Monday.
 

Captain.Heroin

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You can do it CH.

I have had a rough couple of days but looking forward to this stupid fucking duel diagnosis out patient program that i start on Monday.
Good luck man you’re still in the free world so keep being you :)

I am starting to feel a bit mentally clearer and think I am more balanced out now
 
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