Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2021 ⫷⫷

[SunriseChampion]

SSRIs are usually first line treatment for anxiety disorders. Benzodiazepines are usually next.

Yeah? Also not interested. That just sounds like it won't jive well with my on and off depression.

Maybe they'll write me a note stating I need a year off work to de-stress. :D

 

[JessFR]

SSRIs are usually first line treatment for anxiety disorders. Benzodiazepines are usually next.

I've known a lot of people with psych issues. And I'm still waiting for SSRI's to actually work for what they're prescribed

I'm not saying they never work. I am sharing I have never seen them work. I've actually seen SNRI's work a lot more frequently, I wonder why they don't prescribe them more often.

 

[cduggles]

I've known a lot of people with psych issues. And I'm still waiting for SSRI's to actually work for what they're prescribed

I'm not saying they never work. I am sharing I have never seen them work. I've actually seen SNRI's work a lot more frequently, I wonder why they don't prescribe them more often.

It’s unfortunate that we don’t understand why certain psychiatric medications work better in certain individuals than others. We’re making progress, but it’s not cost-effective or in vogue yet.

SSRIs seem to be something doctors like to prescribe, perhaps too much, that have limited effects for some patients. But for some patients they’re the holy grail.

And doctors are reluctant to prescribe benzodiazepines, and I don’t think that perspective is completely unreasonable as someone who has withdrawn off them. The PAWS was the worst.

The problem is that benzodiazepines work quite well for some types of anxiety in most people, so physical dependence and addiction easily follow.

Anecdotally, I agree that I hear better things about SNRIs than SSRIs, but I’m sure we both know that tends to be a bad barometer of things because people complain more about medications that fail than they laud successful treatments.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Weirdly this also seems to be true of psych hospitals. I was in one for about a month after my suicide attempt, and we had one of those machines which could spit out coffee, hot water, tea, hot chocolate and a bunch of other buttons. And sure enough all of them were decaf.

They claimed that if we were allowed caffeine some people would cane it and end up jittery and anxious. probably goes the same in psych wards.

i don't remember it being like that in france (the only country who's pysch wards i've sampled) but in the crisis ward i was really too fucked in the head to know what was going on and in both my psych ward stays i've been given such insane amounts of benzos that any caffeine-induced anxiety would probably be masked.

I never had much luck with SSRIs for depression but for PTSD sertraline in a godsend. i hope i never get depressed badly again because i had a horrendous experience on venlafaxine.

i hear one of my cats puking in the night. i cannot find the sick. no doubt i will discover it by stepping on it in bare feet.

@SunriseChampion definitely get back on meditation for stress!! i'm by no means perfect at it but mindfulness has really helped me to stop projecting and focus on the fact that whatever i'm stressed about is tolerable right this moment.

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

I used to get all the coffee in the ward.

They called me johnny seroquel when i was on 800.

Tomorrow will be my first day of sobriety because 2/1/21

 

[SunriseChampion]

SSRIs seem to be something doctors like to prescribe, perhaps too much, that have limited effects for some patients. But for some patients they’re the holy grail.

I've not seen anything good with SSRIs when people I know have been prescribed them. I'm worried about messing with my depression with these things. Treat the anxiety and just make the depression worse or something. I have a decent handle on the depression through mindfulness techniques which I don't know how to use for my anxiety/stress problems.
It's like my brain doesn't work properly when I'm stressed.

And doctors are reluctant to prescribe benzodiazepines, and I don’t think that perspective is completely unreasonable as someone who has withdrawn off them. The PAWS was the worst.

The problem is that benzodiazepines work quite well for some types of anxiety in most people, so physical dependence and addiction easily follow.

Yeah, I don't even want to deal with this. I once had DTs from alcohol withdrawal and I don't even want to fuck with a drug that seems to make it even easier to get to that level.

@SunriseChampion definitely get back on meditation for stress!! i'm by no means perfect at it but mindfulness has really helped me to stop projecting and focus on the fact that whatever i'm stressed about is tolerable right this moment.

My mindfulness technique for my depression is superb. I've learnt to live with my cyclical depression and suicidal tendencies by rationalising my feelings. However, I can't seem to apply the same technique to my anxiety and stress problems. When acutely stressed, I get anxiety that physiologically reminds me of the panic attacks I used to get from meth/few years post-meth use. My brain doesn't work the same in that situation as it does when I wake up wanting to die.
I'm defo going to get back into it though, the meditation and breathing/yoga did help I feel.

I just need a holiday, legit. It's been 8 years of high-stress work situations since my last proper holiday.

 

[cduggles]

I just need a holiday, legit.

I hear you!

 

[Jabberwocky]

I just need a holiday, legit.

me too. time off without a change of scenery doesn't do the same for me in terms of rejuvenation.

not good today, 3rd night in a row of bad sleep, drank some strong beer last night, feel pissed off with everything and have a headache i can't shift.

 

[SunriseChampion]

me too. time off without a change of scenery doesn't do the same for me in terms of rejuvenation.

Yeah, I was hoping to go to Ottawa...was waiting for the canal to freeze for skating. Apparently it's open so I'm probably going to head there in the next week or so for a few.....and then back to my concrete jungle digs. XD

not good today, 3rd night in a row of bad sleep, drank some strong beer last night, feel pissed off with everything and have a headache i can't shift.

You have trouble sleeping even after running those 10K missions you do? Or have you not been running?

 

[deficiT]

I've known a lot of people with psych issues. And I'm still waiting for SSRI's to actually work for what they're prescribed

I'm not saying they never work. I am sharing I have never seen them work. I've actually seen SNRI's work a lot more frequently, I wonder why they don't prescribe them more often.

I'm on Celexa currently and it works pretty well for me. I have been on an SNRI before (Effexor) and it did work alright. But I've had success with most of the SSRI's I've been on. Just takes time for them to work. But I've found they make a radical difference in my mindset. It's just a lot easier to be positive while taking them.

I'm also on a couple atypical antipsychotics now, and they seem to make a very big difference as well. Though I've been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, so it makes sense those meds work. I'm on Seroquel, Abilify, and Zyprexa as needed.

But I'm 53 days sober now, almost two months! If I get past two months I will break my previous record.

 

[SunriseChampion]

But I'm 53 days sober now, almost two months! If I get past two months I will break my previous record.

Fucking send it, bud!

 

[SunriseChampion]

I'm going on week five now and this is the first time I've been completely straight edge....all the other times I took breaks from alcohol, I at minimum got spun on caffeine, but more usually, would continue doing psychedelics and MDMA...and coke if it was offered to me (never pay for cocaine!).

Gotta say, this straight edge business is kinda weird. I don't like it very much. It's kind of a weird time to be doing these experiements on myself as I can't even have normal social interactions or a social life because of the lockdown either. Which just means I'm going to have to either carry on or do a straight edge run again after the plague is over.

Sometimes I wonder why I like testing myself.

 

[Jabberwocky]

You have trouble sleeping even after running those 10K missions you do? Or have you not been running?

i did a 10k on sunday, actually made it about 8 mins faster than my first one. two of the bad nights sleep were due to drinking, which is my own fault, but also my cats tend to disturb me in the night. they've done it every night for a while now so i think i need to lock them downstairs to get a good nights sleep cos they were at it again tonight and i'm exhausted. got woke up at 6, at least i can do a run before work.

what don't you like about being straight edge? i think everything right now feels a bit weird and unpleasant cos its not normal to be under lockdown.

 

[tired of crap]

Well I cleaned up my pods and put the vape away yesterday morning..
Kinda set myself up for a harder time than necessary though when I filled my second pod with 20 mg/ml and was hitting it first thing in the am, after meals and before bed for a couple days now... then come sunday i put 35 in it lol... got a nice buzz from the 35 and thats what i finished with monday morning before putting everything away.

This seems a lot easier than quitting smokes... either because i tapered or because vaping really only contains one active vs all the other crap in smokes...Though im still miserable and snappy... not all the time, it comes and goes. but im def moody af
To combat the moodiness i got on the treadmill (winter is honestly the only time i find that damn thing useful lol ... As I cant run on pavement anymore and the trails are too icy) and did a spot of yoga, both today and yesterday.

I find im sleeping more, as a sort of avoidance mechanism and otherwise just avoiding my family lol....
I told em to give me a few days and i should be slightly more stable

Going to grab some nac too. Apparently it helps to regulate all sorts of function, whilst also reducing nicotine cravings (and perhaps restoring the magic for future mdma experiences.. though arguably its just my current stash lol)

 

[SunriseChampion]

I find im sleeping more, as a sort of avoidance mechanism and otherwise just avoiding my family lol....

Legit went to university in Ottawa even though I got accepted to York for this very reason......

I told em to give me a few days and i should be slightly more stable

......for two years. XD

Going to grab some nac too. Apparently it helps to regulate all sorts of function, whilst also reducing nicotine cravings (and perhaps restoring the magic for future mdma experiences.. though arguably its just my current stash lol)

I think you'll find it also helps with alcohol cravings/inclination to drink.
The bit of experimenting with NAC I did before the holidays such as taking it for a week with breakfast seemed to have made me want to drink less come the weekend.
This is purely anecdotal speculation still, but I'm super interested to see what you think after using it for a week or two. Please let me know.

I haven't touched it this whole month during straight edge days, but I haven't felt like drinking anyway because I put my mind to it. Apparently it can also help with sort of neurological resetting after alcohol-induced changes in the brain, so I probably should start throwing it back again.

what don't you like about being straight edge?

I probably mostly feel like this because it's new to me (or at least new since about 18 years ago) and because it's during a time of social isolation.
I don't know if this is going to make sense but I quite enjoy the different and unusual psychological states that not being baseline give me.
It doesn't change my personality, but certain drugs enhance certain aspects of my personality, which I quite enjoy from time to time.

 

[Hylight]

I have what they think to be a ganglion cyst on my wrist right now. Right hand. And now probably inflammation.

It's very identifiable ! Painful. I am Fucking dammiting about it all the time too. But it's kind of common to have I guess it seems. Usually it can get drained by some kind of needle or surgery it's been said.

I feel despair and crying but I don't. I used today. Just to feel better and to feel normal. It worked. Oh I used pain medication. ( fyi info.)
I bumped it up to the total of 8mg's in the time frame of around 36 hours. (yes a fucking A opioid)

I wouldn't have got through responsibilities without it. I am still sick though, however.

And still very ashamed. Not so much embarrassed just ashamed but at the same time not wanting to apologise for being (pain, chronic) sick.
Now.

Too weak for tears or despair anymore. Just waiting for it to all end in just one more day. I hope.

Tired all of the time but just knowing I can get better. Hopefully sooner and not instead, never. Seems to be the theme for years now.
☹
I hate being sick. And yes. Is awful.
♡

I used to know those who would get good medication prescribed for less than all of this that I have to endure through and go through and all.

What a different world I seem to be dealing with right now. It is so sad. Prayers have helped through so much too. ♡ But pain was on a fucked level today too.

It's always tough to describe, explain. Especially when it has to take 30 paragraphs to do so. Either way it's hopefully worth an effort.

I am still trying to learn the reason why medicine can be so bad. Because of course it can. Everything seems to be a downfall of trying to get the fuck back up again. And. On a daily basis as usual again today.

 

[Jabberwocky]

everything is black for me right now

 

[tired of crap]

Well, Im over 3 days without any nicotine.
Im still craving but its significantly less. Much less moody too. Regaining some motivation. Even made a batch of edibles.
Sentences still choppy though. Lol

Thinking of you folks

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

everything is black for me right now

dark...have been there too on and off

difficult to remember but lightness inevitably follows

 

[tired of crap]

And its the contrast that makes the light so much more appreciable
Reminds me of this clip of Butters, from South Park.