Recovery 8thday done with Poppyseed Tea/Wash! Week of Hell!

[8thday]

I'm just writing my experience for others to learn from since I have enjoyed reading other posts and experiences. It is good to know that we are not alone in the recovery process. I never thought this would have happened to me.

I've always struggled with anxiety and depression. Not terrible, but tried to find medications to help. During my child birthing years, I wouldn't even take a Tylenol or Ibuprofen when I was pregnant or nursing. I was so careful to not take pain medication due to the worry of becoming addicted because I have that type of personality trait. After multiple surgeries for multiple reasons, I found that pain medication made me feel better than any antidepressant ever. I had energy, I felt happy, I felt like I could get things done and get going, instead of constantly self talking myself to death that I could do it, I just did. FFward running out of pain meds and always wanting to feel better again and I ran across poppyseed tea. I decided to try it and it has been about 4-5 years, unfortunately. I decided to get off of everything and go cold turkey 8 days ago. It has been the most difficult week of my life. I have a great support system. The only think I am worried about is the long haul. I don't know how I will get through the months of insomnia. I have not been able to sleep at all for 8 days. I took some Gabapentin and it has helped me sleep for two hours on the nights that I took it. Other nights, I took Dramamine, NyQuil, Benadryl, even a quarter of a Valium(don't want to start another addiction), Nothing, absolutely nothing turns off the sweats, cold and hot shooting through my body all day and night long. My feet are like icebergs. It has been a horrible, HORRIBLE week! Please give me some help that things will again return to a normal. I need my body to sleep. Help.

 

[cj]

It's time to eat some Valium. Your not going to get addicted from a few doses. You could use everyday for a week with no risk of dependence. I'm afraid their isn't much hope of sleeping from over the counter drugs. Gabapentin in big doses maybe but not extremely likely

 

[8thday]

I took a Valium last night at 1. I was desperate. It did nothing! I didn't sleep at all last night. It was hell. Why won't the brain shut down when it is so much needed. Day 9 today..Will I ever get better?

 

[8thday]

This morning, I read scriptures, prayed, cried, begged for help. Wanted to go get a big diet drink full of caffeine so I could move, but didn't. I ripped off all of the sheets on my bed because clean sheets make me feel better and I want them tonight. I vacuumed the house. Did laundry. Threw on boots and a coat and gloves and went out into the beautifully sunny day full of snow and hiked up as far as I could and again, sat and prayed and cried and begged for help. Hiked all the way down and walked around the neighborhood to get some exercise. Came in and started cleaning again. Cleaned the basement. More laundry. Just laid on a big chair and I actually felt tired! Thought I better get a Propel for some electrolytes and come read the forum since I can't stand to watch TV or look at my phone or anything else. Many things came to me today. Scriptures popped up into my head that helped. Also, realizing that others have it so much worse. I have a husband, family, extended family, beautiful, healthy body that works perfectly, I don't have to worry about going to a job for the next couple of months while my brain and body heal, I know that there is purpose in this and in life. Everything I have gone through has made me a better person and given me more compassion. I know I can get through this because of my deep faith. I have gone through some really difficult things, as we all have, (especially everyone on this forum) and the really difficult things just make you that much better of a person. One of the scriptures that came to me today was this...And if you should be cast into the pit, or into the hand of murderers, and the sentence of death passes upon thee, if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee, if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all; if the very jaws of hell shall gape open its mouth wide after thee, know thou, that all thee things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good.
The son of Man descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
Therefore, hold on thy way and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever. It is the middle of day 9, I have had a strength within me today that has helped me know things will be okay eventually. You have been part of that. I have truly needed your advice and support of this forum. Everyone one here has an amazing story to tell. Hope everyone has some sleep tonight. Including me

 

[Stargazer]

Hi 8th Day. Welcome to BL!

Many of us have been exactly where you are - and more than once. Detoxing is very difficult. It pushes you to your limit.

The constancy is maddening, the lack of sleep makes it even more difficult. Maybe, not waiting to feel better will help mentally. If you can get out of your head, it helps. Doing whatever it is that you like, that will serve as a little distraction.

Like methadone, PST is drawn out. You want to be prepared for that. Fortunately, you have support. That is so helpful!

My story is alot like yours. I didn't even barely take Ibuprofen let alone narcotics or benzos. Chronic pain won. And even that, I didn't give in until about a year and a half. Like you, I liked how ambitious it made me feel. I got so.much done. Plus it helped tremendously with anxiety and panic attacks.

Then, not too long in, I started running out of needs early. On it went, until I eventually used heroin. I'm telling you the very short version.

I understand completely what you're going through. It really will come to an end. Hang in there 8thday. You're going to be ok.

 

[8thday]

Thank you 10yearsgone. I am in need of help. I am so exhausted. I am trying to stay away until bed time but the zings of hot flashes are going through my spine to my head and shoulders already which means no sleep.

I am amazed at how many people are struggling. No one would have guessed I'm an opiate addict. I didn't even consider myself one until I decided to quit. I just thought I was self medicating with the best drug that worked for me since antidepressants never really did the job. Slept great, felt like super mom and got everything done all the time. But, I could tell I wasn't who I used to be. My personality had changed. I didn't think it would be this hard to get through withdrawals. I am not sure why poppyseed tea is so horrible. I never would have touched the stuff. I'll have to go back and read through your story. I know your name so I probably did read through all of your story. It is what I do at night when I am crying and can't sleep or in the bath trying to get rid of the hot and cold flashes and try to not feel so alone. Thank you for the sweet comments and encouragement. It is so much needed right now.

 

[8thday]

Morning of day 10. I am double digits. I am hoping at triple digits, I will be done with this nightmare. I was waiting for my husband to get home from a trip, laying in bed and it happened. I actually started to fall asleep right when the door opened. It gave me so much hope. He had to do some things and shower and an hour and a half later, I took another bath and laid back in bed hoping for the first time that I might fall asleep on my own. It didn't happen. The surges of sweat and hot and cold were going for an hour, so I took a Gabapentin and laid there for two hours and nothing, another bath, back in bed, laid there, weird sensations and maybe even hallucinations, I don't think much sleep, maybe an hour. I was looking at the clock at 2:30, wide awake and then I tried to sleep. Before 5, I looked at the clock again, but I was laying there most of the time but I might have got an hour of sleep or so. Weird thing is, I don't feel tired and I am more awake than I ever used to in the mornings. My brain is on speed, that is what it feels like. I wish it would slow down so it could sleep. My heart rate is still really high. I have a little more energy than I did, I have an appetite and the diarrhea is gone. When will my sleep come? Do I take meds or does it slow the process of healing and just suffer through my brain feeling like it is on speed for weeks with no sleep?

 

[Stargazer]

Yay!!! Double Digits!!! Well done 8thDay. I know you don't think you're doing well because you feel so shitty, overwhelmed and vulnerable. That's all part of the process. Hang on sister. Just hang on.

Ok, this is only my opinion - if you take some loperamide and DXM (Mucinex cough- take as directed, that's all you need) for a reprieve, to maybe get some sleep and catch your breath- it's better than relapsing because you can't take it anymore.

I'm sorry - I'll be back later. I'm using my husband's phone, I left mine at a restaurant we went to last night. He needs it back. HANG IN THERE!! You're going to be ok. xoxo

 

[8thday]

10yearsgone, Why am I still having zings of hot and cold, sweaty flashes all night? Is this normal? I am dying. I just want a couple of hours sleep. Nothing seems to work. I am barely holding on today. I will go get some Mucinex cough DXM, not sure what it is. Will it help me sleep really or is it like Benadryl? I'm exhausted with a nasty headache. I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and get going today. I don't know where I will get the strength, but I need to move this body. I thought 10 days done would be done! Maybe a little insomnia here and there but this isn't that much better than a week ago minus I am feeling a little better. It is only a little better each week? Help me

 

[Stargazer]

I hate the body temp stuff too. That's part of it. Either hot flashes or freezing but sweating. It's difficult to get warm, even if it's 90Degrees out. Clonidine, the blood pressure meds, can help with that. Some swear by it.

Mucinex capsules, for coughing, have DXM in them. I take them in addition to loperamide. Loperamide alone doesn't cut it for me, I don't metabolize it the way I should- something like that. I take 12-14 loperamide and 2 Mucinex tablets. Every 6hrs. That seems to help give me relief.

You're not weak - you're getting your ass handed to you right now. And you're exhausted.

That's why I mentioned taking some Mucinex and loperamide (immodium), for a little reprieve to get some real sleep, get hydrated, eat something nutritious - to regroup and catch your breath.

What dose of the gabapentin are you taking? They can also be a huge help. Maybe you need to increase your dose. Don't worry about getting addicted to the meds, you're not going to be taking them long enough for that. Again, this is only my opinion, but I feel it's better to take something for a breather, than end up making a batch of tea. I know the feeling of saying screw it, I can't take this anymore.

Right now, some real sleep will help. Alot. Keep your eye on the prize. I'm here, to remind you everyday that you can do this, and it comes to an end.

PM me anytime if you want or need to. Ive been there 8th day. I know you can do this. Just a little bit at a time.

 

[Chris42393]

I wish you the best of luck. I went through the same thing as well... I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. My main withdrawal symptoms were HORRIBLE RLS (which radiated up throughout my body) and the "hot flashes or freezing but sweating" ordeal. Id lay in the shower for hours to make me feel better... I legit would have rather been dead... It was the worst week (or so) of my life.

It takes time, you can do it! If you need to message me as well, you're more than welcome to!

 

[8thday]

Chris, How long do the hot and cold flashes last? I am so done. I am so exhausted. I just want some sleep. I think I might be able to sleep a little but they ramp up every night, ALL NIGHT LONG! cry

 

[8thday]

10years, 12-14 Immodium tabs? I am not familiar with loopermide. I am so afraid of the cold medicines since they kept me awake all night long with no relief. Is the DXM different? Thank you for being so kind. I really need some people that have gone through this to help. My hub is a gem, but doesn't know what to do to help other than tell me to go see a doc. I see my OBGYN on Thursday, but this is a long standing yearly appt, and not a help me appt. I don't want him to know I am having withdrawals. So stupid of me to have rationalized myself into thinking this was okay. Thank you so much for the kind words and help. Much love

 

[Stargazer]

Hi Chris! Omg - the "restless body" situation. Yes. Definitely drives me crazy. I feel like there's a "tickle" deep in my wrists. Like a moth is in there lol. I keep trying to shake out my arms. It really pushes you to your limit.

And yes, I was legit praying to die. And pissed off that I didn't. I've been through w/d too many times to count. But detoxed, CT, twice. To the bitter end. In jail.

It was very VERY traumatic. I had seizures, hallucinations - omg. It was bad. I had a tremendous opiate tolerance.

Coming out on the other side is worth it. But address the reasons why you were using. They don't just go away because you detoxed.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. I'm on meds that help with the severe anxiety and panic attacks. If I wasn't on meds, for sure I'd be back to full-time IV heroin.

I'm on Subutex. For the most part, I take them and am fine. I'm still using about 2x a month on average. I'm soldiering on and not giving up.

8th day, would you consider going on subs? Even if you did a 7-10 day taper with them, it would make the process more bearable. Like alot more bearable.

I don't think suffering does anything other than scar you. Trust me, I suffered horribly. It doesn't keep you from not using again. In fact, I feel it can be a huge factor in relasping. It's just an option to think about 8th day. Opiate replacement therapy helps alot. You can think clearly and function. You use the time to put a recovery plan in place.

We're here for you 8th day. You're not alone. Not by a Longshot.

 

[Stargazer]

Geez 8thday, we posted at the same time.

You're taking the Mucinex with loperamide. It doesn't make my restless legs or "restless body" worse.

You will get stable for probably anywhere from 6-12 hrs. The Mucinex will have worn off.

I take 10-12 loperamide, and 2 Mucinex severe cough tablets and 1 25mg amitriptyline. They are precribed to me to help me sleep. But, I've take Mucinex and loperamide without it, and it works fine.

You'll get a few hours of being stable, which, right now you need. You'll be able to sit still, concentrate, etc. I know what you mean by your brain feels more awake. Your brain is overstimulated from lack of sleep, and the constant physical, mental, and emotional discomfort.

It's worth a try. Make yourself some hot tea, and take a warm bath with Epsom salt. Put on your jammies or comfortable clothes and breathe. Get your bearings. Your body is trying to restabilize. It's a process. You're going to get there. Promise. xoxo

 

[Stargazer]

Loperamide is the generic name for Immodium.

Immodium has an opiate in it. It doesn't get you high because it's kicked out of the brain immediately. But, it helps settle the w/d symptoms. You can get them at Walmart, even better at Costco, inexpensively.

Mucinex is kind of expensive. I got Alka Seltzer Plus Maximum Strength Cold and Cough liquid gels. They were about $6.00, as opposed to $20 for Mucinex.

If you are able to take Ibuprofen, take 400mg. It will help with some of the physical discomfort. Also inexpensive at Walmart.

Kratom can help too. I think you can get it in capsule form at headshops. Or order it in powder form online. Some people swear by it, and it brings them great relief from w/d. It seems to be a 50/50 thing. It helps some like a miracle, and some it doesn't. It didn't help me. It made me nauseous and very anxious, but I'm prone to anxiety.


These are some of the basics for "warm turkey" detoxing. And don't forget to be kind to yourself. Read your Bible, recite scriptures that bring you comfort.

The body temp issues seem to last awhile, but become less and less. iamgollum made a food point about not measuring your progress day to day, but week to week.

You're getting through it, right now. As you're reading this your body is getting better. xoxo

 

[Chris42393]

I wish you the best of luck. I went through the same thing as well... I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. My main withdrawal symptoms were HORRIBLE RLS (which radiated up throughout my body) and the "hot flashes or freezing but sweating" ordeal. Id lay in the shower for hours to make me feel better... I legit would have rather been dead... It was the worst week (or so) of my life.

It takes time, you can do it! If you need to message me as well, you're more than welcome to!

Unfortunately, they lasted just up to the end. They stopped maybe a day or so before everything was done... I hated it... Id literally be changing bed sheets every day because of the sweat... I went through this twice, the second time I took something called kratom, which took all of my withdrawal symptoms away and after about a week or so (I lowered my kratom dose lower and lower every day), all the symptoms were gone and I didn't suffer at all. It was a miracle.

The only BAD thing about kratom for me is... is that I know I have a way to not go through withdrawals anymore if I wanted to start back up... And thats extremely scary to me... Id rather NOT start using again. (I originally 'using' because of a back injury from work, and my doctor stopped prescribing me medicine... and my back still hasn't healed..)

 

[Chris42393]

10YearsGone-... Jesus, that must have been really scary! Seizures and hallucinations! My lord... and I thought I had it bad. I have a history of epilepsy, so I know how bad those can get. Not fun at all... And you said something SOOO TRUE "Coming out on the other side is worth it. But address the reasons why you were using. They don't just go away because you detoxed." I think ill always have that 'itch' to use for the rest of my life... I think there might be something subconscious that makes me want to use (possible depression maybe? Im an introvert as well). But Im so happy to hear that you are on a medication that can help you. Maybe one day ill find something that can help me.

 

[Stargazer]

Hey Chris!

It was scary. It seems the pattern for me is, at about 30hrs in, I lose my vision. Then start hallucinating. Then seizures.

They started, with feeling my body contort very suddenly. I was in and out of consciousness. I never had seizures prior to the cold turkey detoxes. I'm sorry you go through that - it is terrifying.

It's really worth looking into the depression Chris. Don't stop until you find something that helps. You're worth it and deserve relief.

I suffered w anxiety and panic since I was a kid. I just didn't know what it was. I thought everyone felt that way and it was normal.

I wish you all the best Chris.

 

[Stargazer]

Good morning 8thday. How are you today?