New member here, just thought I'd say hi and introduce myself.
A little bit of background: I'm a 40-something year old attorney living in the mid-atlantic area. Long story short...I was stuck in a bad marriage for 16 years which essentially wore me down. Back in 2010, a friend of mine introduced me to cocaine and oxycodone. She crushed a 30mg oxy, mixed it with some coke, and had me to two lines of that. In about 5 minutes, everything that had been sucking the life out of me...my marriage, my job, my guilt...utterly vanished inside my mind. I can't remember ever feeling so free and so happy to be alive. I was well aware of the dangers of both drugs, but honestly didn't give a shit. Sometimes in life, you will do just about anything to alleviate the pain you feel inside, while telling the consequences to go fuck themselves.
The next 8 years were a blur on cruise control. I was a zombie in my real life, at work and at home, while all I was truly motivated to do was score coke and oxy, then go on a long drive listening to music and feeling...nothing.
Finally, I hit rock bottom. July 4, 2018. I simultaneously stopped using both coke and oxy that day. The following two weeks were pure hell...I literally locked myself in my home office and just layed on the couch. But once I started feeling better, the road became clearer to me. I left my marriage...left the guilt behind...and have started a new life. I haven't used either coke or oxy since July 4th of last year. I won't lie to you...I miss the hell out of both of them...but the need to self-medicate is no longer so powerful, once I removed the poisonous influences in my personal life.
Anyway...I just figured maybe I could share what I've learned along the way with some of you...and perhaps learn more about myself by reading different perspectives of people on this site.
I look forward to getting to know you all...
A little bit of background: I'm a 40-something year old attorney living in the mid-atlantic area. Long story short...I was stuck in a bad marriage for 16 years which essentially wore me down. Back in 2010, a friend of mine introduced me to cocaine and oxycodone. She crushed a 30mg oxy, mixed it with some coke, and had me to two lines of that. In about 5 minutes, everything that had been sucking the life out of me...my marriage, my job, my guilt...utterly vanished inside my mind. I can't remember ever feeling so free and so happy to be alive. I was well aware of the dangers of both drugs, but honestly didn't give a shit. Sometimes in life, you will do just about anything to alleviate the pain you feel inside, while telling the consequences to go fuck themselves.
The next 8 years were a blur on cruise control. I was a zombie in my real life, at work and at home, while all I was truly motivated to do was score coke and oxy, then go on a long drive listening to music and feeling...nothing.
Finally, I hit rock bottom. July 4, 2018. I simultaneously stopped using both coke and oxy that day. The following two weeks were pure hell...I literally locked myself in my home office and just layed on the couch. But once I started feeling better, the road became clearer to me. I left my marriage...left the guilt behind...and have started a new life. I haven't used either coke or oxy since July 4th of last year. I won't lie to you...I miss the hell out of both of them...but the need to self-medicate is no longer so powerful, once I removed the poisonous influences in my personal life.
Anyway...I just figured maybe I could share what I've learned along the way with some of you...and perhaps learn more about myself by reading different perspectives of people on this site.
I look forward to getting to know you all...
