Hello

[Teajunkie]

Hello I'm Ashley. New to the forum but have browsed on off through the years never had any experience with drugs till I developed severe fibromyalgia migraine s torn menicus in both knees osteoaritithis. Severe depression, bipolar nos, borderline personality gi issues. I have been on so many different cocktails for pysch meds and pain and othermefs through the years. I'm 32, I have always struggled with my health as a child with allergies and infections. But it really hit downhill in my 20s. Slowly my meds hit the double digits. But when I finally tamed my chronic pain through tramadol lyrica Vicodin and just about every muscle relaxer except soma. I developed a rectocele which is aprolapse because undiagnosed pelvic floor disfunction internal cystis and over active bladder conditions took years to daignose had syptoms since 2016, had this odd pulling poking dragging discomfort, had the surgery in 2017 which was a diaster. The surgery was botched still have not dissolving sticthes poking that Ihaf reaction to not even pain meds as me the pulling poking away. Then had a uterine surgery and endometriosis surgery in 2018, still no relief. Some of my meds right now are ambien, tramadol, valium, klonopin,Prozac,elmiron,lyrica,doxepin,Inderal,maxalt. I used to take fiocet for migraines can't get no more. My vicodin was taken away the one time I decided to try meth, next day ended in mental health unit boyfriend called on me because I was sucidual. it showed in my urine and pain clinic found out I voilated my contract. I have been in pysch unit 4 times since june because I can't handle the stress of this discomfort that I can't fix and being broke. I own my own home which has been nothing but a nightmare contractor messed it up, have bad water.can't take care of it my mom lives in my house but since my money ran out and I can't work become a burden. Feel alone dealt with all this medical stuff alone. Just got in a new relationship with someone I met in the psych unit (he had me admitted the last time Christmas)and he's been in jail since January 19th and we had just made up the week before. I just tired all the time and so alone.

 

[Cheshire_Kat]

Hi Teajunkie, sounds like you've been through a lot.

Is there anything that you were looking for in particular here at Bluelight If so give a shout and someone will try to point the way to the info or support you are looking for.

 

[gu3sswho88]

I'm sorry you're going through this.
I've hit a new low as well.
Meth definitely doesn't go well with mental health problems. It made me suicidal once too. A night that me and my boyfriend won't ever forget, unfortunately.
I don't know what would help with your chronic pain. I wish I could be more helpful. I just wanted to say hang in there.

 

[SunshineL82]

Hello back to you, Teajunkie! I see this thread is from March, and that you haven't been on BL since June..so I do most certainly hope everything is all good with you. I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I know that physically you may feel isolated, but I'm guessing your Mom still lives in that house with you, and perhaps you still have the boyfriend you met in Psych. Regardless, I know that even if there are a dozen people physically around you, it can still feel as if you are totally alone. Mental health issues are freaking awful, and I'm sorry you're dealing with those. I wanted to ask...Are you seeing one Doc for all of these meds? Is there a psychiatrist you go to for chats? Have you ever tried going to a group therapy type session at a non-profit? I did the latter for a year and it actually helped me even though inside, at first anyway, I was like "I hate people and nobody wants to hear my stupid sob story"...But venting actually helps. Hearing other people's issues and struggles helps too!
Anyhow, that's my two cents. Hopefully you've had a better summer.

 

[GENGAR]

Sorry your going through this. Welcome to the forum