Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2008
- Messages
- 94,868
Post your stories.
You are wise to steer clear of benzos.I am having a rough go of it. I can't drink because of the random UAs at my IOP (they use the EtG test which supposedly can detect alcohol up to 80 hours after consumption and they've already busted me once). I could use benzos because they're legitimately prescribed, but I'm not going back down that rabbit hole. I've probably spent between 15 and 20 hours trying to help my friend who I took to detox last week find either a sober home or a rehab she can go to while she waits to get into a sober home, but I am going fucking nuts juggling phone calls from sober homes, rehabs and from her while at work. Her sister is a recovering addict turned addiction therapist, and she also has a brother in town and I don't know why they aren't helping her. And this process is making me completely lose faith in the treatment industry as a whole. Very few rehabs will give her the time of day because the won't take Medicare/Medicaid. The industry as a whole is just fucking mercenary. I just want to veg on the couch and watch stuff that's recorded on the DVR without the fucking phone going off.
Hope everyone is doing ok, and if not that?s ok as well. I pray we all get to live to fight another day.
Kratom withdrawal is hell right now, drinking coffee seems to help just a little bit.
Tomorrow I?m officially sober from alcohol and pot 2 weeks. Kratom is the last of my habits.
Exercise for the day: turn negative thinking into positive actions
I am having a rough go of it. I can't drink because of the random UAs at my IOP (they use the EtG test which supposedly can detect alcohol up to 80 hours after consumption and they've already busted me once). I could use benzos because they're legitimately prescribed, but I'm not going back down that rabbit hole. I've probably spent between 15 and 20 hours trying to help my friend who I took to detox last week find either a sober home or a rehab she can go to while she waits to get into a sober home, but I am going fucking nuts juggling phone calls from sober homes, rehabs and from her while at work. Her sister is a recovering addict turned addiction therapist, and she also has a brother in town and I don't know why they aren't helping her. And this process is making me completely lose faith in the treatment industry as a whole. Very few rehabs will give her the time of day because the won't take Medicare/Medicaid. The industry as a whole is just fucking mercenary. I just want to veg on the couch and watch stuff that's recorded on the DVR without the fucking phone going off.
I agree - a psych facility connected to a teaching hospital is the best way to go. The place I detoxed at in January is shady as hell. I got a bill from their pharmacy provider and a lot of the meds on the invoice, I never got, so I've opened a billing dispute with both the rehab and the pharmacy.You are wise to steer clear of benzos.
I too have nothing but loathing for the rehab/ treatment industry. Some of the best help I?ve gotten was though a state hospital/ university (learning hospital) in my state.
Personally I?ve had more success with IOP than inpatient treatment. Something about being able to go home every night and practice coping skills in real time and not dread being ?cut loose? after 30 days.
Although I do see the value in being removed from your using scene for a week or two to properly detox.
I broke down today and took a little kratom- just enough to stabilize and get some sleep. I?m following the suggestions I?ve seen in other threads to spread the dose out into smaller doses throughout the day.
Keep up the hard work people!
I?m sorry to hear that captain.I've been trying to overcome a recent hardship. No I don't want to talk about it here, but it has been very challenging for me and I finally feel *slightly* better.
Currently been sober for 6 months. I was an alcoholic, a chronic Benzo and opiate addict for 14 years. Throw in some crack and about every sedative under the sun. It really feels incredible to be clean. I still have some paws from the Benzo use (haven't used Benzes since oct 17, jail detox). So I was looking at 8 to 32 years in prison for a slew of violent felonies (DV), habitual offender all that kind of shit. In the past year I haven't used many drugs other than alcohol and marijuana. For the past 13 years I was a grower so I was constantly surround by drug culture, and fast money. Bit me in the ass hard. Between being sick of being an addict and the potential prison time, I decided to go to rehab. For the past couple years I've been doing research on what programs are actually worth a shit. I found a place in Carbondale CO, outside of Aspen called Jaywalker Lodge. I cannot say enough good things about Jaywalker and their staff. These people actually care about their clients. It was a mountain based program, 3 days a week we either went skiing/snowboarding in Aspen, or went mountain biking, hiking...shit like that. Overall great experience. For the first time in 16 years I've been sober other than jail stints. To be honest I'm not really a 12 step guy, but I've given it an honest chance. The jury is still out for me. I go to a few meetings every week, and chair an NA meeting. Overall life is really good. I have a couple court dates coming up, it will be alright. I've been offered timed served and 2 years probation. Not too bad if I stay sober. Which I plan to do. I'm allowed to smoke pot because I live in CO and have a medical card. Im going to give myself 18months of sobriety and then revisit that question. Ive always been anti 12step, smoke pot to the day I die kinda guy. But I do get some relief, from working the steps. Im just rambling though. Props to anyone giving sobriety a chance. Oh yeah and Ive done the Suboxone thing for years, that's not recovery or sobriety...shits the devil.
Everyones experience is different. Suboxone and Methadone have saved my life. All the statistics I've seen show a significant reduction in mortality for people on maintenance. To each their own though.