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March Recovery Thread

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Hope everyone is doing ok, and if not that?s ok as well. I pray we all get to live to fight another day.
Kratom withdrawal is hell right now, drinking coffee seems to help just a little bit.
Tomorrow I?m officially sober from alcohol and pot 2 weeks. Kratom is the last of my habits.
Exercise for the day: turn negative thinking into positive actions
 
I am having a rough go of it. I can't drink because of the random UAs at my IOP (they use the EtG test which supposedly can detect alcohol up to 80 hours after consumption and they've already busted me once). I could use benzos because they're legitimately prescribed, but I'm not going back down that rabbit hole. I've probably spent between 15 and 20 hours trying to help my friend who I took to detox last week find either a sober home or a rehab she can go to while she waits to get into a sober home, but I am going fucking nuts juggling phone calls from sober homes, rehabs and from her while at work. Her sister is a recovering addict turned addiction therapist, and she also has a brother in town and I don't know why they aren't helping her. And this process is making me completely lose faith in the treatment industry as a whole. Very few rehabs will give her the time of day because the won't take Medicare/Medicaid. The industry as a whole is just fucking mercenary. I just want to veg on the couch and watch stuff that's recorded on the DVR without the fucking phone going off.
 
Yeah the whole industry has a layer of sleeze that's hard to see past once you've been properly tuned in.
 
aihfl said:
I am having a rough go of it. I can't drink because of the random UAs at my IOP (they use the EtG test which supposedly can detect alcohol up to 80 hours after consumption and they've already busted me once). I could use benzos because they're legitimately prescribed, but I'm not going back down that rabbit hole. I've probably spent between 15 and 20 hours trying to help my friend who I took to detox last week find either a sober home or a rehab she can go to while she waits to get into a sober home, but I am going fucking nuts juggling phone calls from sober homes, rehabs and from her while at work. Her sister is a recovering addict turned addiction therapist, and she also has a brother in town and I don't know why they aren't helping her. And this process is making me completely lose faith in the treatment industry as a whole. Very few rehabs will give her the time of day because the won't take Medicare/Medicaid. The industry as a whole is just fucking mercenary. I just want to veg on the couch and watch stuff that's recorded on the DVR without the fucking phone going off.
Click to expand...
You are wise to steer clear of benzos.
I too have nothing but loathing for the rehab/ treatment industry. Some of the best help I?ve gotten was though a state hospital/ university (learning hospital) in my state.
Personally I?ve had more success with IOP than inpatient treatment. Something about being able to go home every night and practice coping skills in real time and not dread being ?cut loose? after 30 days.
Although I do see the value in being removed from your using scene for a week or two to properly detox.
I broke down today and took a little kratom- just enough to stabilize and get some sleep. I?m following the suggestions I?ve seen in other threads to spread the dose out into smaller doses throughout the day.
Keep up the hard work people!
 
DoctorMolecule said:
Hope everyone is doing ok, and if not that?s ok as well. I pray we all get to live to fight another day.
Kratom withdrawal is hell right now, drinking coffee seems to help just a little bit.
Tomorrow I?m officially sober from alcohol and pot 2 weeks. Kratom is the last of my habits.
Exercise for the day: turn negative thinking into positive actions
Click to expand...

Stay strong! Coffee/tea/caffeine is a huge, huge, huge plus for me during buprenorphine withdrawal years ago.
 
aihfl said:
I am having a rough go of it. I can't drink because of the random UAs at my IOP (they use the EtG test which supposedly can detect alcohol up to 80 hours after consumption and they've already busted me once). I could use benzos because they're legitimately prescribed, but I'm not going back down that rabbit hole. I've probably spent between 15 and 20 hours trying to help my friend who I took to detox last week find either a sober home or a rehab she can go to while she waits to get into a sober home, but I am going fucking nuts juggling phone calls from sober homes, rehabs and from her while at work. Her sister is a recovering addict turned addiction therapist, and she also has a brother in town and I don't know why they aren't helping her. And this process is making me completely lose faith in the treatment industry as a whole. Very few rehabs will give her the time of day because the won't take Medicare/Medicaid. The industry as a whole is just fucking mercenary. I just want to veg on the couch and watch stuff that's recorded on the DVR without the fucking phone going off.
Click to expand...

There are alternatives for anxiety if BZD's have treated you poorly in the past; i.e. valerian, other herbs, picamilon. Certain drugs will also up-regulate GABA in a way that is much less addictive/problem-forming than BZD use.

Stay strong! Let me know if you tried any of those. I haven't tried picamilon but I think I've tried almost everything else I mentioned. *for shame*
 
DoctorMolecule said:
You are wise to steer clear of benzos.
I too have nothing but loathing for the rehab/ treatment industry. Some of the best help I?ve gotten was though a state hospital/ university (learning hospital) in my state.
Personally I?ve had more success with IOP than inpatient treatment. Something about being able to go home every night and practice coping skills in real time and not dread being ?cut loose? after 30 days.
Although I do see the value in being removed from your using scene for a week or two to properly detox.
I broke down today and took a little kratom- just enough to stabilize and get some sleep. I?m following the suggestions I?ve seen in other threads to spread the dose out into smaller doses throughout the day.
Keep up the hard work people!
Click to expand...
I agree - a psych facility connected to a teaching hospital is the best way to go. The place I detoxed at in January is shady as hell. I got a bill from their pharmacy provider and a lot of the meds on the invoice, I never got, so I've opened a billing dispute with both the rehab and the pharmacy.

My IOP ends today. I would have liked to stay longer, but I can't stay in IOP forever and sooner or later have to figure out how to make it on my own. At least it was a good week to stop; I have something to do every night this week, helping me to transition back into a healthy routine: yoga (which I did last night and it felt great!), hanging out with sober friends (going kayaking to see the manatees one last time before it gets hot and they move back out into the ocean), meditating at the Buddhist Meditation Center in my city and Refuge Recovery meetings. There's also a martial arts dojo about a mile from me that offers Tai Chi three days a week, so I'm thinking of starting that, too. I'm sure if I stay on track, it will once again eventually be a treat just to relax at home with the dog and watch stuff recorded on the DVR.
 
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I've been trying to overcome a recent hardship. No I don't want to talk about it here, but it has been very challenging for me and I finally feel *slightly* better.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I've been trying to overcome a recent hardship. No I don't want to talk about it here, but it has been very challenging for me and I finally feel *slightly* better.
Click to expand...
I?m sorry to hear that captain.

So my appointment with the addiction specialist went well today. I told him about my kratom habit and he actually said he has a handful of patients that are in a similar situation as me (using kratom to kick the h habit, now horribly dependent on kratom).
So he prescribed tizanidine and meclizine as comfort meds to help with the withdrawals. I took my last dose of kratom about an hour ago.
Does anybody have any experience with tizanidine?
 
Nope. I imagine the a2 agonist will help like any other a2 would i.e. clonidine. Have you tried that one?
 
I have tried clonidine, tizanidine is ok but it causes some stomach issues (loose bowels etc. but that may be the kratom withdrawal. Yeah I?m curious about the abuse potential for tizanidine. I?ve seen some YouTube videos, and I?m like ?really I just don?t feel much from this compound?
 
Well I?m officially at 48 hours since my last dose of kratom. Even with trazedone and tizanidine sleep has been hit or miss. The one cool thing about quitting smoking pot is I?m actually dreaming again. I may wake up briefly and fall back asleep and am able to pick up where I left off in the dream.
I?m working overnight shifts at a local gas station, which I don?t know if that helps or hurts with the insomnia issues... more will be revealed
Edit/ Update: officially at 75 hours since my last dose of kratom. I?m finally at that stage where the withdrawal symptoms sorta come and go. Drinking coffee seems to help with feeling lethargic. Still experiencing low mood and a little anxiety. I?ll post an update around this time tomorrow. Hope everyone is doing ok
Edit/ update pt2: officially its been 100 hours since my last dose of kratom, I actually slept 9 hours today but woke up still feeling tired. I?m really not experiencing any physical withdrawal symptoms right now, now on to battleing the psychological cravings!
 
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Currently been sober for 6 months. I was an alcoholic, a chronic Benzo and opiate addict for 14 years. Throw in some crack and about every sedative under the sun. It really feels incredible to be clean. I still have some paws from the Benzo use (haven't used Benzes since oct 17, jail detox). So I was looking at 8 to 32 years in prison for a slew of violent felonies (DV), habitual offender all that kind of shit. In the past year I haven't used many drugs other than alcohol and marijuana. For the past 13 years I was a grower so I was constantly surround by drug culture, and fast money. Bit me in the ass hard. Between being sick of being an addict and the potential prison time, I decided to go to rehab. For the past couple years I've been doing research on what programs are actually worth a shit. I found a place in Carbondale CO, outside of Aspen called Jaywalker Lodge. I cannot say enough good things about Jaywalker and their staff. These people actually care about their clients. It was a mountain based program, 3 days a week we either went skiing/snowboarding in Aspen, or went mountain biking, hiking...shit like that. Overall great experience. For the first time in 16 years I've been sober other than jail stints. To be honest I'm not really a 12 step guy, but I've given it an honest chance. The jury is still out for me. I go to a few meetings every week, and chair an NA meeting. Overall life is really good. I have a couple court dates coming up, it will be alright. I've been offered timed served and 2 years probation. Not too bad if I stay sober. Which I plan to do. I'm allowed to smoke pot because I live in CO and have a medical card. Im going to give myself 18months of sobriety and then revisit that question. Ive always been anti 12step, smoke pot to the day I die kinda guy. But I do get some relief, from working the steps. Im just rambling though. Props to anyone giving sobriety a chance. Oh yeah and Ive done the Suboxone thing for years, that's not recovery or sobriety...shits the devil.
 
Well done man! I was very similar, been addicted to alcohol, benzos, weed, heroin, crack, ended up with usually thea equivalent of a small pharmacy floating around my system. Would have been facing prison if I'd not been to rehab.

March has already been very hard, Feb was the first month it was easy. I'll be six months clean in exactly 2 weeks and getting off the rainy island I call home today.
 
hotfriesmmm said:
Currently been sober for 6 months. I was an alcoholic, a chronic Benzo and opiate addict for 14 years. Throw in some crack and about every sedative under the sun. It really feels incredible to be clean. I still have some paws from the Benzo use (haven't used Benzes since oct 17, jail detox). So I was looking at 8 to 32 years in prison for a slew of violent felonies (DV), habitual offender all that kind of shit. In the past year I haven't used many drugs other than alcohol and marijuana. For the past 13 years I was a grower so I was constantly surround by drug culture, and fast money. Bit me in the ass hard. Between being sick of being an addict and the potential prison time, I decided to go to rehab. For the past couple years I've been doing research on what programs are actually worth a shit. I found a place in Carbondale CO, outside of Aspen called Jaywalker Lodge. I cannot say enough good things about Jaywalker and their staff. These people actually care about their clients. It was a mountain based program, 3 days a week we either went skiing/snowboarding in Aspen, or went mountain biking, hiking...shit like that. Overall great experience. For the first time in 16 years I've been sober other than jail stints. To be honest I'm not really a 12 step guy, but I've given it an honest chance. The jury is still out for me. I go to a few meetings every week, and chair an NA meeting. Overall life is really good. I have a couple court dates coming up, it will be alright. I've been offered timed served and 2 years probation. Not too bad if I stay sober. Which I plan to do. I'm allowed to smoke pot because I live in CO and have a medical card. Im going to give myself 18months of sobriety and then revisit that question. Ive always been anti 12step, smoke pot to the day I die kinda guy. But I do get some relief, from working the steps. Im just rambling though. Props to anyone giving sobriety a chance. Oh yeah and Ive done the Suboxone thing for years, that's not recovery or sobriety...shits the devil.
Click to expand...

Please consider posting your experiences on the Rehab/Detox Reviews thread:
https://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/680440-Rehab-amp-Detox-Clinics-Share-your-experiences
 
Everyones experience is different. Suboxone and Methadone have saved my life. All the statistics I've seen show a significant reduction in mortality for people on maintenance. To each their own though.
 
cj said:
Everyones experience is different. Suboxone and Methadone have saved my life. All the statistics I've seen show a significant reduction in mortality for people on maintenance. To each their own though.
Click to expand...

For sure. From my experience and those I've witnessed over the past ten years maintenance becomes a buffer between using over time. I have no doubt it reduces mortality and believe me I'm no expert what so ever. I was on Suboxone maintenance on and off since 2010. There was periods in my life where I had abstained from opiates for upto 18 months. It never addressed the underlying issues. I was also a poly substance abuser. Detoxing from subs and Benzos in jail was absolutely the worst experience I have been through other than the death of my parents. But if it works for anyone than more power to ya. The amount of Suboxone dr's prescribe is also absolutely foul.
 
Well I'm at just over 10 months of no drinking, no heroin, no meth, no benzos, no needles. About 4 months off cigarettes but I still use nicotine heavily.

Due to severe sciatic pain and a physically challenging job, I have been using some hydros and oxys-- never more than 40mg a day and usually less. Also take breaks from them now and then; I must be VERY careful with any opiate.
I smoke a little weed but less and less-- I don't love it like I used to.

Still a coffee fiend and probably always will be.

Overall, I am doing quite well compared with what I used to be. At the rate I was going, I definitely would be in a jail cell/psych ward/ICU or dead by now.

Hope everyone is well and reasonably happy.

Peace&Love,
jasper
 
well done jasper!!

I'm 6 months clean and on the bus to get my keyring. Then going to my mates to play music, which is helping hugely with distraction.
 
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