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I'm back biatches...

aihfl

aihfl

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 5, 2015
Messages
2,834
I've had kind of a rough go of it since the new year. Long story short, ended up in detox Jan. 23-31; intended to go to the intensive outpatient program run by the detox center, but got booted because "I'm on too many scheduled medications." Whatevs. I'm now in a dual diagnosis IOP that is refreshing because it's not straight substance abuse. I'm in there with people with all manner of unhealthy coping mechanisms including cutting, sex, gambling, impulse shopping, you name it, but we're all there because we don't know how to healthily deal with anxiety, panic, depression etc. One therapist is great, the other so-so but still acceptable and the psychiatrist is useless, but the pdoc doesn't really matter since I have my own anyway. My pdoc doubled my Ativan prescription, but as long as I lay off the sauce, I'm not worried about it. When I get hammered is when I start waking up with empty benzo prescription bottles on the nightstand. Mostly back to a healthy routine at this point. Hope everyone else is doing ok.
 
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Glad to have you back... good to hear you are taking care of yourself.

<3
 
Thanks Mafioso. Between work, IOP, meetings, meditation at the Buddhist Meditation Center in my city, doing stuff with sober friends and taking care of the dog, I have sorely needed structure back in my life.
 
Welcome back man. :) Glad things are looking up.
 
Glad you're doing well A!

It sounds like you're doing great stuff... Healthy stuff. It's great that you caught yourself and nipped it in the bud. Welcome back ??❤️
 
For the life of me I can?t find any docto give me benzos.

My problem is I tell the full and complete truth.

On the paper they ask me did I do substances ever and ask me face to face.

I have the hardest time lying.


My old doc I could tell him I was buying off the streets and he would say was it helping.

He died at 41 for reasons I do not know.

Every other doc gives me a very condescending look.
 
Sonic, it is becoming more and more of a challenge to find a doctor that will write a script for benzos if you've had a history of substance abuse, but it's not impossible. Benzos are the only thing that come anywhere close to as effective as alcohol with it comes to severe anxiety and panic. I am not inclined to abuse them on their own, but if I've been drinking, all bets are off. I consider myself a genuine alcohol in that once I start drinking, I do not know when I'll stop. I could be that same evening, it might be weeks later.
 
I really do hate the way they make me feel.

I was on klonopin in 2010-2017. I took it correctly.

In 08 when my OCD was at its worse this guy threw 2 over the psych ward wall. I was so anxious that when I took it it felt like an X pill.


After that it was over. I had a Pure O obsessive thought that I was at Gods Judgment..


When I took it I said to myself when it kicked in I didn?t even care if I was lol.
 
I'm not "allowed" to take benzos because I'm on Subutex.

I understand the reasoning, but I have lifelong anxiety and panic disorders. I occasionally take a benzos that I've aquired on my own. I feel like I got off meds (pain meds and benzos) in the nick of time. About 5yrs ago I got locked up for 6.5mos, then straight to rehab for 31days.

It seems like you're getting either taken off your meds, or getting your doses dramatically reduced whether you like it or not. I can't imagine what it's like now.

I'm getting hassled over Neurontin and Lyrica. I find it kind of crazy. Compared to the meds I used to be on, it's nothing.
 
It doesn?t surprise me that all this is happening due to the boasting of how high ppl get on here from them.
 
There's been a disruption in the supply chain for generic lorazepam. My Walgreens wasn't going to have it back in stock until APRIL FUCKING 8th, and at first refused to transfer the prescription to another location (that I found doing my own legwork) until I raised holy hell. Their first response was "see your doctor and get a prescription for something else." That person had clearly never been to a psychiatrist in a big city and had no idea what a fucking ordeal it is to get an appointment with a psychiatrist on short notice. I read a New York Times article last year about a Chicago hospital that was completely out of narcotic pain medication. Constantly having to do battle with the pharmacy has gotten really unpleasant. I hope my psychiatrist doesn't retire for a long time, because I'm afraid the next one I end up with is just going to add further roadblocks.
 
That's pretty crazy. Seems like there would be some sort of legal liability when people's health and well-being depend on medications they dispense. Wonder what would happen if someone was to get hurt because they couldn't get their medication(i.e. seizure while driving or something).

Sorry you have to deal with that.. stay safe.
 
This information is from the American Society of Health System Pharmacists, dated 8 Feb. 2019:

Products Affected - Description


    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 0.5 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 69315-0904-01
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 0.5 mg, bottle, 500 count, NDC 69315-0904-05
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 0.5 mg, bottle, 1000 count, NDC 69315-0904-10
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 1 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 69315-0905-01
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 1 mg, bottle, 500 count, NDC 69315-0905-05
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 1 mg, bottle, 1000 count, NDC 69315-0905-10
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 2 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 69315-0906-01
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 2 mg, bottle, 500 count, NDC 69315-0906-05
    • Lorazepam tablet, Leading, 2 mg, bottle, 1000 count, NDC 69315-0906-10
    • Lorazepam tablet, Major, 0.5 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 00904-6007-60
    • Lorazepam tablet, Major, 0.5 mg, unit-dose blister pack, 100 count, NDC 00904-6007-61
    • Lorazepam tablet, Major, 1 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 00904-6008-60
    • Lorazepam tablet, Major, 1 mg, unit-dose blister pack, 100 count, NDC 00904-6008-61
    • Lorazepam tablet, Major, 2 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 00904-6009-60
    • Lorazepam tablet, Major, 2 mg, unit-dose blister pack, 100 count, NDC 00904-6009-61
    • Lorazepam tablet, Mylan Institutional, 0.5 mg, unit-dose blister pack, 100 count, NDC 51079-0417-20
    • Lorazepam tablet, Mylan Institutional, 1 mg, unit-dose blister pack, 100 count, NDC 51079-0386-20
    • Lorazepam tablet, Mylan Institutional, 2 mg, unit-dose blister pack, 100 count, NDC 51079-0387-20
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 0.5 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 00591-0240-01
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 0.5 mg, bottle, 500 count, NDC 00591-0240-05
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 0.5 mg, bottle, 1000 count, NDC 00591-0240-10
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 1 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 00591-0241-01
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 1 mg, bottle, 500 count, NDC 00591-0241-05
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 1 mg, bottle, 1000 count, NDC 00591-0241-10
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 2 mg, bottle, 100 count, NDC 00591-0242-01
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 2 mg, bottle, 500 count, NDC 00591-0242-05
    • Lorazepam tablet, Teva, 2 mg, bottle, 1000 count, NDC 00591-0242-10

Reason for the Shortage


    • Aurobindo did not provide a reason for the shortage.
    • Leading has lorazepam tablets on shortage due to increased demand.
    • Major did not provide a reason for the shortage.
    • Mylan has discontinued all bottled presentations.
    • Mylan Institutional did not provide a reason for the shortage for the unit-dose blister packs.
    • Sandoz discontinued all lorazepam presentations.
    • Teva did not provide a reason for the shortage.
 
Huh, that's not great. Fortunately any number of benzos can substitute for lorazepam. Unfortunately there are bound to be plenty of people who won't be able to get a different prescription on short notice and may be thrown into withdrawals which is awful and dangerous.
 
Yeah interesting that there is increasing demand yet manufacturers are discontinuing products or not providing reasons. Your pharmacy could understand the seriousness but if there is a market shortage there probably isn't much they can do besides refer you to get a script for something else. Not sure of the legality, but guessing they can't make the substitute without consent of a doctor.

I wonder if it has something to do with regulations or fear of them.
 
No, they can't even substitute the same med in a different strength (say give me 60 2mg lorazepam instead of 120 1mg tabs that are on my prescription). I should be able to make it to my next appointment - I have about 120 on hand and I tend to hoard them out of a (possibly) irrational fear that my supply is going to be cut off, although under present circumstances, that fear doesn't seem so irrational anymore. And yes, I fear (pun intended) that drug companies have a fear of high-liability medications. Look at what happened to methaqualone in America in the 1980s. Temazepam is the only other benzo on the shortage list. Another mod sent me a text that he got his refill without any hassle, but if this is still happening in my little corner of the world around my next appointment in May, I'm probably just going to explain the situation and tell the Dr. I'd like to be switched over to alprazolam. I guess the other common option would be clonazepam, but when I'm having acute anxiety and panic, I need something that kicks in quick, plus the long half life (relatively) of clonazepam is a concern. I don't want to take one and feel sedated the rest of the day.
 
I?m so glad I?m a year off benzos.

I would rather suffer my free floating anxiety then go through the hell of benzo withdrawals.

I?m sorry you?re going through this.
 
What happened with methaqualone in the 80s? At this point with everything that is happening, I'd be more surprised if there isn't a huge push back against benzos the same way there is against opioids in the near future.

Keep us updated on what's going on. Honestly I don't think it's irrational to horde benzos when you are physically dependent. It's probably the more rational thing to do once you are aware of how severe the withdrawals can be. I always tried to horde them but once I start mixing benzos and weed I just fiend uncontrollably.

Are you still doing any therapy?
 
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