Hello Bluelight! This is my first post and I am not a typical member of forums, nor do I know any decorum. I?m also not entirely sure if this is where this goes but I?d really like to talk to someone about it.
I greatly appreciate you reading my post.
I watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in middle school, and I yearned to replicate it. My father often used psychedelic drugs around me and it was just kind of his thing. That year on New Years he and his friends did salvia and he had bought a couple bottles of poppers which I had hoarded to myself at the end of the table. After that I was way into inhalants. Air duster, paint, whatever I could find in the garage. Freshman year rolled around and I was idly googling stuff to kill my brain cells when I learned ether could be found in starting fluid. I had starting fluid. So I grabbed it from the garage and filled a rag with it. The head rush hit that I had anticipated hit me. I had a good body high going. I guess I had gone through six or seven rags of the stuff before I had set it down and retreated back inside my house. I turned on the tv but I couldn?t pay attention and I was gripped by this terrible fear. I ran down my hall and into my kitchen, colliding with a couple pieces of furniture. Then I collided for eternity. Every cycle I ran through the shooting pain in my arms would multiply and multiply. All I could think was holy fuck I?m dying and this is just what happens when you die. My arms drifted away and I was just hurt in a sea of nothing. All I could see were two red planes where my arms were and they were intersecting. Nothing had ever shaken me like that. It?s been about five years and I?ve really never been the same. I have freakouts where nothing feels real. I can?t smoke weed, the feeling is just way too much . Any mind altering substance other than alcohol gives me terrible shakes. I have fuzzy vision, tracers, really bad tinnitus. It?s been hard to talk about to anyone because nobody really gets what I?m talking about. My girlfriend smokes a lot of weed and I think it bothers her that I don?t. I feel like a freak. Is there any way to come back from a mind altering trip and be able to use drugs normally?
Thank you for reading this, please tell me if this is in the wrong place and I will be happy to remove it.
I greatly appreciate you reading my post.
I watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in middle school, and I yearned to replicate it. My father often used psychedelic drugs around me and it was just kind of his thing. That year on New Years he and his friends did salvia and he had bought a couple bottles of poppers which I had hoarded to myself at the end of the table. After that I was way into inhalants. Air duster, paint, whatever I could find in the garage. Freshman year rolled around and I was idly googling stuff to kill my brain cells when I learned ether could be found in starting fluid. I had starting fluid. So I grabbed it from the garage and filled a rag with it. The head rush hit that I had anticipated hit me. I had a good body high going. I guess I had gone through six or seven rags of the stuff before I had set it down and retreated back inside my house. I turned on the tv but I couldn?t pay attention and I was gripped by this terrible fear. I ran down my hall and into my kitchen, colliding with a couple pieces of furniture. Then I collided for eternity. Every cycle I ran through the shooting pain in my arms would multiply and multiply. All I could think was holy fuck I?m dying and this is just what happens when you die. My arms drifted away and I was just hurt in a sea of nothing. All I could see were two red planes where my arms were and they were intersecting. Nothing had ever shaken me like that. It?s been about five years and I?ve really never been the same. I have freakouts where nothing feels real. I can?t smoke weed, the feeling is just way too much . Any mind altering substance other than alcohol gives me terrible shakes. I have fuzzy vision, tracers, really bad tinnitus. It?s been hard to talk about to anyone because nobody really gets what I?m talking about. My girlfriend smokes a lot of weed and I think it bothers her that I don?t. I feel like a freak. Is there any way to come back from a mind altering trip and be able to use drugs normally?
Thank you for reading this, please tell me if this is in the wrong place and I will be happy to remove it.