Negative effects years after using ether

[Jim McTim]

Hello Bluelight! This is my first post and I am not a typical member of forums, nor do I know any decorum. I?m also not entirely sure if this is where this goes but I?d really like to talk to someone about it.
I greatly appreciate you reading my post.

I watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in middle school, and I yearned to replicate it. My father often used psychedelic drugs around me and it was just kind of his thing. That year on New Years he and his friends did salvia and he had bought a couple bottles of poppers which I had hoarded to myself at the end of the table. After that I was way into inhalants. Air duster, paint, whatever I could find in the garage. Freshman year rolled around and I was idly googling stuff to kill my brain cells when I learned ether could be found in starting fluid. I had starting fluid. So I grabbed it from the garage and filled a rag with it. The head rush hit that I had anticipated hit me. I had a good body high going. I guess I had gone through six or seven rags of the stuff before I had set it down and retreated back inside my house. I turned on the tv but I couldn?t pay attention and I was gripped by this terrible fear. I ran down my hall and into my kitchen, colliding with a couple pieces of furniture. Then I collided for eternity. Every cycle I ran through the shooting pain in my arms would multiply and multiply. All I could think was holy fuck I?m dying and this is just what happens when you die. My arms drifted away and I was just hurt in a sea of nothing. All I could see were two red planes where my arms were and they were intersecting. Nothing had ever shaken me like that. It?s been about five years and I?ve really never been the same. I have freakouts where nothing feels real. I can?t smoke weed, the feeling is just way too much . Any mind altering substance other than alcohol gives me terrible shakes. I have fuzzy vision, tracers, really bad tinnitus. It?s been hard to talk about to anyone because nobody really gets what I?m talking about. My girlfriend smokes a lot of weed and I think it bothers her that I don?t. I feel like a freak. Is there any way to come back from a mind altering trip and be able to use drugs normally?

Thank you for reading this, please tell me if this is in the wrong place and I will be happy to remove it.

 

[Xorkoth]

This is the right place, and welcome. Unfortunately, I believe starter fluid has things in it other than ether. Besides that, you mentioned using other inhalants including paint and air duster, before ether. Paint in particular is extremely toxic and horrible for you. Ironically, ether is among the least toxic of the inhalants (when used in pure form as opposed to starter fluid). How long has it been since you started having these side effects?

If you can't do drugs anymore, it might be a blessing in disguise. I love drugs, but ultimately they've probably had a net negative effect on my life, other than psychedelics. A lot of people destroy their lives with drugs, especially when they're the type to use inhalants just to get a buzz.

Moral of the story: don't use inhalants. They're probably the most toxic and damaging class of drugs, by and large.

 

[Hilopsilo]

You say its been five years since that particular incident with starter fluid, have you continued to use them any time over the past 5 years? if so, which one)? Or did you quit inhalants entirely after that? (if you haven't, stop)

If you haven't already, I'd definitely recommend you see a doctor about all of this. I imagine theres a good bit of medical literature surrounding inhalant abuse as they've been around for a long time.

 

[Jim McTim]

Thanks for responding, I appreciate it. I noticed the side effects immediately. It’s been pretty consistent since then. Ever since I’ve been plagued by anxiety and the visuals and tinnitus keep me up at night. It’s also really difficult to drive in the dark.

 

[Jim McTim]

You say its been five years since that particular incident with starter fluid, have you continued to use them any time over the past 5 years? if so, which one)? Or did you quit inhalants entirely after that? (if you haven't, stop)

If you haven't already, I'd definitely recommend you see a doctor about all of this. I imagine theres a good bit of medical literature surrounding inhalant abuse as they've been around for a long time.

I?ve tried a whip it since then and it took me right back to the same trip. I?ve come to believe there?s something about my muscles relaxing that triggers it. It sends me into a panic. Smoking weed elicits the same kind of thing, I start to notice patterns that become the planes that intersected. Alcohol and some high mg antihistamines I was described are the closest to an enjoyable altering feeling I can get. Haven?t touched ether since the incedient.

 

[dopamimetic]

From the wikipedia article about starting fluid:

Diethyl ether has a long history as a medical anesthetic; when starting fluid was mostly ether, a similar effect could be obtained using it. Use at the present time directly as an inhalant includes the effect of the petroleum solvents, which are more toxic as inhalants than diethyl ether

Like Shadowmeister already said. Yeah, try to talk to a doctor about your symptoms. Might need some effort to find a good doc for things like that, though.

But don't let anybody force you to use drugs. I never tolerated weed, it makes me anxious and feels weird. Did you like weed before the incident with starting fluid, or was your first joint after it?