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February recovery thread vs better late than never

I just got out of the hospital. Had to go inpatient to get my medication sorted out. I'm feeling much better now. I'm moving to a sober house in Minneapolis. In the next week or so. Very excited about that. Things are looking up for the first time in a while
 
Glad you're out and feeling better, you sound really good cj.

Your move sounds great too, you can make new and better memories there. Really happy for you honey.

Much love,
your friend,
Ash.

cj said:
I just got out of the hospital. Had to go inpatient to get my medication sorted out. I'm feeling much better now. I'm moving to a sober house in Minneapolis. In the next week or so. Very excited about that. Things are looking up for the first time in a while
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cj glad you're feeling better and good luck for the move.

good to hear you're healing CH

i'll be 5 months clean in a week.
 
chinup said:
no problem. here's wishing you a tolerable day then, and hoping you find some acceptance and inner peace. i guess they're things that wax and wane a bit.

argh when i fall i fall fast and hard. i'll be 5 months clean off all substances in just over a week and could so easily have fucked it today. less wanting to use just not caring and extreme tiredness. i had my group at the drug services and it'd be so easy to buy someone outside there one of each for something to at least make me not feel so utterly shit and tired. didn't though.

jasper- i'm seriously considering the chilli thing but one question- do you find it effects your stomach? i have an erosion from drinking spirits on an empty stomach all weekend for ages and if i irritate it its hell, heroin helps with that but i'm not allowed it anymore.
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Thank you. I’m working on acceptance and just generally working on myself. It’s hard.

I have noticed most people gain an intolerance to hot chili sauce/peppers/food over age/time I.e. by the time you’re 40+.

I have not experienced any such thing. I just can’t afford a bottle of reaper or ghost pepper chili sauce right now. *poor people problems*
 
chinup said:
cj glad you're feeling better and good luck for the move.

good to hear you're healing CH

i'll be 5 months clean in a week.
Click to expand...


Thanks. I have years and because I am still mentally ill it isn’t like a party bus or anything. Still much happier without opiates in my life. I had to admit it was bad for my brain and body. I can’t handle using them. Will have intense cravings so I have to abstain for life.
 
cj said:
I just got out of the hospital. Had to go inpatient to get my medication sorted out. I'm feeling much better now. I'm moving to a sober house in Minneapolis. In the next week or so. Very excited about that. Things are looking up for the first time in a while
Click to expand...
That's really good to hear man!
 
Thanks for the kind words everyone. I had a hard day today. I was feeling very agitated and stressed. Coming back to the house I was in before the hospital really got to me. I was really down and feeling hopeless. It was also refill day on my Ativan. So I ended up eating 8mg over the afternoon. I should flush the rest of the pills but I think I can just bored take them tommorow. Monday I interview for a really good sounding sober living I'm going to ask about the policy around prescribed benzos. If they aren't allowed I'll give my script to my mom to hang onto until I get my own place down the road. I'm not throwing away the opportunity of a lifetime away for fucking Ativan. I took 8mg today as a final blowout.

God I hope I can stay sober once I get up there. I'm so scared.
 
Involuntarily not very high anymore.

Killing myself with eating disorder. Oh that healthy life.

Got to get back on meds, stop purging all the time. Toothbrush down the throat friend? Skipped at least bad food today. Too sick to purge, sore throat.

Took a vitamin c. Health life.
 
cj said:
I just got out of the hospital. Had to go inpatient to get my medication sorted out. I'm feeling much better now. I'm moving to a sober house in Minneapolis. In the next week or so. Very excited about that. Things are looking up for the first time in a while
Click to expand...

Cj -

i am so glad you are feeling better! How was your inpatient stay? If I recall correctly, you have been wanting to get away from home for awhile now, or am I making that up? Either way, the sober house sounds like an awesome idea. How are your parents taking the idea of a move out of state? When do you go? (Sorry, lots of questions - none of which you should feel obliged to answer! Feel free to tell me to mind my own business.).

Good luck and keep us posted!

- VE
 
FLA said:
I'm doing better since I started going back to my original pain management doctor. She had kicked me out in Oct '17 for doctor shopping. I had an interim doctor that wasn't working out. ! mg/day of buprenorphine is not enough for my body. Things came to a head when after using the meds too soon I got the bright, almost delusional idea that I would just do constant 2 hour sessions of nitrous oxide whippets. My wife took me to a rehab that she said had a good reputation but they wouldn't admit me because they claimed my oxygen levels were compromised by the constant inhaling of n20. So the Tampa police had to be called to escort me to the local hospital to make sure I wouldn't die in the rehab. After the hospital gave me a bill of good health I went back to the rehab to be admitted but found out they had no intention of medically treating me for my opioid cravings so after all that I just went home. Took a clonazepam I'd been saving for anything that seriously warranted it and went to sleep thinking it had been in interesting day.
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FLA -

all that in one day?!? That’s insane. I hope you are feeling better.

What at is your plan for tomorrow, if you don’t mind my asking? It sounds like you are looking for some opiate replacement therapy?

- VE
 
VastEmpty said:
Cj -

i am so glad you are feeling better! How was your inpatient stay? If I recall correctly, you have been wanting to get away from home for awhile now, or am I making that up? Either way, the sober house sounds like an awesome idea. How are your parents taking the idea of a move out of state? When do you go? (Sorry, lots of questions - none of which you should feel obliged to answer! Feel free to tell me to mind my own business.).

Good luck and keep us posted!

- VE
Click to expand...
My inpatient stay was really great. I think they got my meds in a much better place. The groups where awsone too. Just a great experience overall.

My parents are supporting my out of state move. My mom especially thinks it's a good idea and yeah I've been trying to get away from here for forever. I'll be leaving sometime in the next two weeks. I think I found the sober living place today. Had a good meeting over the phone. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time
 
Jeanpauldash said:
Involuntarily not very high anymore.

Killing myself with eating disorder. Oh that healthy life.

Got to get back on meds, stop purging all the time. Toothbrush down the throat friend? Skipped at least bad food today. Too sick to purge, sore throat.

Took a vitamin c. Health life.
Click to expand...

I’m so glad you’re ok.

What meds worked for you? I am still at a loss for effective meds at the moment for a lot of things.
 
Jeanpauldash said:
Involuntarily not very high anymore.

Killing myself with eating disorder. Oh that healthy life.

Got to get back on meds, stop purging all the time. Toothbrush down the throat friend? Skipped at least bad food today. Too sick to purge, sore throat.

Took a vitamin c. Health life.
Click to expand...

really sorry to read this. i hope you can get some help with your ED.

this sort of thing is why i get fecked off being told 'every day you don't use is a success' there's a billion ways to self destruct, many as painful as addiction.

saturday will be the first time i've got to another full month clean off everything and not look back and wonder how i did it. it almost feels normal now.
 
chinup said:
this sort of thing is why i get fecked off being told 'every day you don't use is a success' there's a billion ways to self destruct, many as painful as addiction.
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Yes however a lot of people in "recovery", drugs were their only self-destructive vice. A lot of us here have known others.
 
^yep

5 months clean today. not even one tiny drink.

its glorious in manchester. which is a bit worrying given its february, climate change and all, this years gonna be well under the annual average of 363 days rain per year (my estimate based on growing up here). but i meditated outside with the sun on my skin, which i learned in rehab relaxes me instantly.
 
chinup said:
^yep

5 months clean today. not even one tiny drink.

its glorious in manchester. which is a bit worrying given its february, climate change and all, this years gonna be well under the annual average of 363 days rain per year (my estimate based on growing up here). but i meditated outside with the sun on my skin, which i learned in rehab relaxes me instantly.
Click to expand...

congrats chinup!

this has been a very hard month for me and I'm not doing too terribly well.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Yes however a lot of people in "recovery", drugs were their only self-destructive vice. A lot of us here have known others.
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I'm back in a dual diagnosis IOP after going on a bender last month. Since it's dual diagnosis and not substance abuse, I'm in there with people with all kinds of issues; cutting, sex, gambling, impulse buying, you name it. But we're all there because we can't deal with life in a healthy way, it just manifests differently. In fact, I am the only recent substance abuser in there, and the only other person with a substance abuse history has been off cocaine for years.
 
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