• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

February recovery thread vs better late than never

fuck aihfl hope it helps.

dual diagnosis is a weird one in the UK- so few rehabs except dual diagnosis. i'd never have got accepted by an NHS funded rehab cos of my history of eating disorders (i didn't know i also had c-ptsd cos the heroin was working so well for it), i was too risky to be worth public money. as far as i can tell most addicts are self medicating some underlying mental health issue, so dual diagnosis should be the norm not the exception, and treating the addiction and not the underlying mental health issues seems pointless.

thanks CH and VE for the encouragement, it really helps, now i just gotta do the rest of my life lol. CH i really hope you're getting some real help, and if you're not feel able to ask for it.
 
I'm back in a dual diagnosis IOP after going on a bender last month. Since it's dual diagnosis and not substance abuse, I'm in there with people with all kinds of issues; cutting, sex, gambling, impulse buying, you name it. But we're all there because we can't deal with life in a healthy way, it just manifests differently. In fact, I am the only recent substance abuser in there, and the only other person with a substance abuse history has been off cocaine for years.

Good luck with the program. I know you work really hard toward greatness in your life and you deserve it man. Take care and keep us posted, we all care about you here, deeply.

For what it's worth I have 100% abstained from alcohol for almost an entire year now and it wasn't even a problem for me, and even though it wasn't my life is still deeply struggle-filled. You can always talk to me man, I will always be able to lend a caring ear.
 
thanks CH and VE for the encouragement, it really helps, now i just gotta do the rest of my life lol. CH i really hope you're getting some real help, and if you're not feel able to ask for it.

I've been trying and it's proved exceedingly difficult and quite frankly I am going to be alright either way. I have my mind set on what I want out of life already and I'm sure it'll be coming to me. I still have incredibly bad, dark thoughts like suicidal ideation, real bad depression, anxiety. Normally not agoraphobia but definitely a passive social aversion. I like being alone, and not talking to others and I know this is quite unhealthy.

I try to take better care of myself as much as I can.

I have been actively asking for help and it's proven very difficult. But I still try, and thank you for the kind words. I've been very hesitant for trying to get help.
CH
 
Hey guys, it?s been awhile since I?ve posted in sober living, and I?m giving sobriety another chance.
This time I want to work an honest program, which includes giving up pot as well.
My progress so far:
21 months clean from heroin
2 years clean from meth
1 week clean from smoking pot
1 week clean from benzos
4 days sober from alcohol
The only thing I have in my system is kratom, which I took about 1 hour ago.

I have a psych appointment this Wednesday and I plan on getting back on antidepressants and restarting therapy next week.
Again I?m gonna try and work an honest program that does not include marijuana maintenance. No judgment from me if you do marijuana maintenance, it?s helped me stay clean from meth and heroin for around two years. I just need to establish what my baseline mood is so I can begin treating my anxiety and depression.
Thanks and lots of love for your support
 
Hey guys, it?s been awhile since I?ve posted in sober living, and I?m giving sobriety another chance.
This time I want to work an honest program, which includes giving up pot as well.
My progress so far:
21 months clean from heroin
2 years clean from meth
1 week clean from smoking pot
1 week clean from benzos
4 days sober from alcohol
The only thing I have in my system is kratom, which I took about 1 hour ago.

I have a psych appointment this Wednesday and I plan on getting back on antidepressants and restarting therapy next week.
Again I?m gonna try and work an honest program that does not include marijuana maintenance. No judgment from me if you do marijuana maintenance, it?s helped me stay clean from meth and heroin for around two years. I just need to establish what my baseline mood is so I can begin treating my anxiety and depression.
Thanks and lots of love for your support

That's awesome! Ive had some success with therapy and antidepressants
 
Didn't do so well sobriety wise this month. I went ham. I can't even explain myself to myself. :?

I tried asking myself what is driving this compulsion. Boredom, and some other variables that really can't be changed. I have to learn to deal with things differently.

After a very difficult re-induction(all caused by me) back on to Subutex, I'm feeling stable.

Trying to come up with things that would bring me pleasure - volunteering, cooking. I also would like to get a bike. I like mountain biking and casual biking as well.

Saw a cute bike with a basket, a rack on the back and even a phone holder on the handle bars lol. Riding in nice weather with the wind through my hair sounds great.

Hope everyone is well ❤️.
 
Wow Dr Molecule! Well done. Youve got yourself set up for success. :)
 
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CH, your post means the world to me - thank you. You can always call on me too, during the times you feel like you're hanging on by your fingernails.

Today was a stressful day. I ended up having to take a friend to detox around 10pm last night. She has suffered from debilitating rheumatoid arthritis for years and her abuse of her pain medication has gotten out of control. She filled her prescription for oxys on Feb. 9 and ran out on the 18th so she resorted to stealing her elderly landlord's fentanyl patches and smoking a lot of weed. The intake process took about 3 hours and I stayed until she disappeared behind the doors of the unit because I wanted to make sure she got in there, so I didn't get home until about 2am.

As if I needed further proof that a lot people who work in the treatment industry in the USA are idiots, an acquaintance from agnostic/atheist AA was telling her that her options were to go to an emergency room and say that she wants to kill herself so that she would get Baker Acted (sectioned in Florida), or to go to the county-run detox. I told her both those were bad ideas. If she did get Baker Acted, chances are pretty good that they would have just let her go after the involuntary 72 hour observation hold, and I told her the county-run place is dirty, uncomfortable and dangerous (lots of violent people in there) and that she might as well go to jail before she went to the county-run detox. I've been to both jail and the county-run detox, so I feel confident in my assessment that it's a step sideways at best. I called the psych hospital at the University of Central Florida (I've been detoxed there too) and asked if they had an open bed and if they accepted Medicaid/Medicare and they did, so I took her over there. I'm glad I was there to save her from that idiot's bad advice. For all its shortcomings, the care there is excellent. You see the therapist and psychiatrist daily and you get checked out medically by an internal medicine physician, important for her given all her physical ailments. A fuckton better than the place I detoxed last month.
 
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CH, your post means the world to me - thank you. You can always call on me too, during the times you feel like you're hanging on by your fingernails.

Today was a stressful day. I ended up having to take a friend to detox around 10pm last night. She has suffered from debilitating rheumatoid arthritis for years and her abuse of her pain medication has gotten out of control. She filled her prescription for oxys on Feb. 9 and ran out on the 18th so she resorted to stealing her elderly landlord's fentanyl patches and smoking a lot of weed. The intake process took about 3 hours and I stayed until she disappeared behind the doors of the unit because I wanted to make sure she got in there, so I didn't get home until about 2am.

As if I needed further proof that a lot people who work in the treatment industry in the USA are idiots, an acquaintance from agnostic/atheist AA was telling her that her options were to go to an emergency room and say that she wants to kill herself so that she would get Baker Acted (sectioned in Florida), or to go to the county-run detox. I told her both those were bad ideas. If she did get Baker Acted, chances are pretty good that they would have just let her go after the involuntary 72 hour observation hold, and I told her the county-run place is dirty, uncomfortable and dangerous (lots of violent people in there) and that she might as well go to jail before she went to the county-run detox. I've been to both jail and the county-run detox, so I feel confident in my assessment that it's a step sideways at best. I called the psych hospital at the University of Central Florida (I've been detoxed there too) and asked if they had an open bed and if they accepted Medicaid/Medicare and they did, so I took her over there. I'm glad I was there to save her from that idiot's bad advice. For all its shortcomings, the care there is excellent. You see the therapist and psychiatrist daily and you get checked out medically by an internal medicine physician, important for her given all her physical ailments. A fuckton better than the place I detoxed last month.

lol, stealing the landlord's fentanyl patches. Oh, the depths that we'll reach. I can't imagine fucking with a landlord's drugs. That's just asking for an eviction.

Normally these days I've accepted I won't be around forever and I'm just planning on enjoying myself a few last times while I'm still relatively young.
 
Hope you are as well doc molecule


I'll be in Minneapolis by mid March!! I'm so fucking excited. I got officially accepted by the sober living yesterday!
 
Cj, that is wonderful news.

Do you get a job automatically or will you have to go look for one when you get there? Any plans beyond the sober living home that you are excited about?

You deserve a fucking break from life’s bullshit and a winning lottery ticket, I hope this move gets you closer to those things - or whatever else you want from life!

- VE
 
I don't automatically have a job but they will help me find one. I'm excited to go to an NBA game up there. The Rockets are visiting the Timberwolves on a Sunday in April. I'm thinking I will go. I'm also excited about doing the tourist thing around town. They have a Russian museum of art I want to visit.
 
There are tons of art museums in MSP. Also, you'll have to try a "juicy lucy" as soon as you can - a burger with two patties sealed around a small stack of cheese so that the cheese is inside the burger and not on top of it, a Twin Cities specialty.
 
nice one cj super chuffed for you. and you'll actually be able to visit that art museum. i'm pretty sore about living in places with ace stuff to do and spending all my time using on depressing council estates instead.

still clean by some fucking miracle.
 
Good news CJ! Sounds like things are moving in a positive direction.
I?m back on antidepressants and I see an addiction doctor on Tuesday. Might be going on naltrexone to help with my kratom habit and alcohol habit. If he recommends I go on subs for my 40-50g per day kratom habit I?m going to tell him no way.
My last dose of kratom was yesterday and I?m starting to feel withdrawals today. Probably poor sleep for me for the next couple of days. Hopefully the naltrexone won?t cause precipitated WD?s. It?s a risk I?m willing to take. My wife found out a lot of our money has been going to kratom the last 8 months or so. She hates kratom and doesn?t really understand how uncomfortable withdrawals are for me.

But so far I?ve been able to stay sober and not smoke pot. If withdrawals get back alcohol may be more tempting. Hopefully a nice dose of trazedone will help me sleep, and bupropion will take away some of the malaise.

Keep up the hard work everyone!
 
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