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C'mon lads n lasses, tell us about yer most disastrous fuck!

F.U.B.A.R.

Bluelight Crew
Joined
May 12, 2010
Messages
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Bugger me! This place has hit the doldrums again innit? Let's try and liven things up with some sex!

Tell us about your disastrous sexual experiences - the worse, the better.

I'll start with mine.

I was in my early twenties and was staying at a mates house to look after his dog while he was away. I'd had a good night suppin' Newcy brown ale and smokin' spliffs, then went to bed, had a wank, and crashed out.

In the early hours, I was woken up by a banging on the front door. I groggily fumbled my way to the door and when I opened it there was this pissed up blonde bird in a skin tight black mini dress, black stockings and high heels standing there. She said "is Ady (my friend who's house it was) here?"
"No", I replied, "he's away for the weekend".
"Oh, can I come in?" She said. "I'm just walking back from the nightclub and I think someone's following me".

So I asked her in and went to make us a brew. When I sat down talking to her it transpired that she knew Ady was away and that I was staying there, and she'd fancied me for ages. Next thing I knew we were rolling around on the floor getting nasty.

I led her into the bedroom (she was wearing nothing but stockings and sussies by this point) where we could continue 'the business'.

However, the combination of booze, weed, earlier wank and the total weirdness of the situation meant I couldn't fuckin' get it up for the life of me. I mean for fucks sake, this was all my fantasies rolled into one. Pissed up bird in sexy gear, big tits 'n' ass, fuckin' gaggin' for it, and I couldn't perform. I had to make do with giving her a good noshing, but it still didn't feel right.

Although she seemed quite appreciative as she sent me a card into my workplace the next day saying "thanks for looking after me last night" (much to the amusement of my mates), I still felt like an abject failure and somewhat dirty for taking advantage of a lass in a vulnerable state.



Now if that happened tonight, it would be a completely different story... ;)
 
LOL! I was anticipating a different sort of disastrous. Btw she definitely planned that alllll out...as she even admitted. My kind of gal.

I once had a friend of a friend over while in uni. We planned to shoot up meth together, which we did. When we were coming down he offered me some clonazepam & I hadn't taken it before but am traditionally hardheaded. He actually recommended 3 x 2mg...which was WAY too much. I was soon completely asleep, or so I thought. I have vague memories of him putting condoms on but recall absolutely nothing of the sex except he wasn't well endowed but that could well be due to the meth. But based on the 2 condoms I found the next morning I assume he banged me twice. I wouldn't have fucked him had I been lucid, so I consider it self-induced date rape. But in the past I had a lot of sleep sex with my ex so I think I just responded on autopilot & likely seemed quite into it, so I don't blame the guy, except for giving me way too much clonazepam. I'm very friendly so it's quite possible he interpreted our meth hang out time as flirting.

After my husband died I dealt with the grief by having casual sex, and I spent a year in NYC. There was a whole group of us who hung out & went to restaurants & bars together. There was this one guy I'd always found super hot (objectively one of the hottest men I've known) but he was kind of jerky so nothing happened for months, until we were both drunk (well, I was mostly just buzzed) & it just seemed the perfect time, & we had a really epic kiss in the bar. Went back to my place & proceeded to get it on. Unfortunately, he was not fully (but mostly) hard due to all the EtOh, and worse, he just couldn't come. I really hate long-sex-rape (as I call it); I'd always prefer 2x 5 min quickies to a 30+ min fuck. I'm also latex sensitive so combined with the mild ED there was some serious chafing. I kicked him out eventually but apparently he left some important stuff in a bag (I never looked) at my place, and he kept calling for WEEKS even after he got his bag. And I didn't even get a good fuck out of it!
 
clonazepam ... rape

While I understand that the situation may have been far from black and white this is such an unfortunate thing to have happened and IMO the cultural emphasis on flunitrazepam (Rohypnol) and GHB as date rape drugs somewhat dilutes the fact that most if not all benzodiazepines can be used for these purposes due to their amnesiac properties and on a more blunt and wider level depressants are potentially employed in a large proportion, if not a majority, of these situations, with logic suggesting that alcohol is the most common culprit.

While we all have probably been susceptible to a drunken fumble at one point or another I can find no personal justification for the use of CNS depressants as any kind of sex aid, as while I have admittedly had encounters I would have avoided if not drunk (and vice versa) it has always been as a result of disinhibition, as I am confident that I have never been or have never pressured another into doing anything that they or I have not fundamentally consented to. Benzodiazepines are a different story however IMO and as I see them as only ever blunting ones sex drive (as opposed to say amphetamines which I honestly feel have a positive place in the bedroom) their deliberate administration, especially to women, has always seemed somewhat suspect...
 
Absolutely - all GABAergics can be used as DR drugs. I actually had someone try to intentionally date rape me (later admitted to it) by getting me high on Foxy (I can't remember, 5 meo dipt I think?) but it basically had no effect despite repeated large doses & certainly no sexual effects. Fortunately I dislike downers & avoid putting myself in situations where I could be date raped, am careful with my drinks (usually only water) when I go out, etc. Women certainly bear responsibility to maintain reasonable cognition, particularly when alone.

He was scripted the clonazepam & had a huge tolerance - I had none other than my general hardheadedness with downers, but 6mg is no joke - and he wasn't very knowledgeable about drugs or meds so I don't believe he intended to take advantage let alone rape me. I don't know if it's bc I don't remember it or bc I didn't feel ANY physical aftereffects (& I ALWAYS do after sex, especially when it's been a while, & it had been months - but he um, didn't have much girth, so maybe that's why?), or bc I generally am good at separating sex & emotion when I wish to & had already had prior one night stands, but I've never felt traumatised by the event. Technically I realise it was date rape & if I could undo it I would, but I'm not really bothered by it.

Re benzos generally, I find them completely neutral sexually. But I definitely agree that amphetamines if not all stims are prosexual.
 
So then, it was Friday night my friends parents had gone away for the weekend to Prague to watch Eric Clapton play. I have to add this friends family was extremely wealthy, nice house god knows how many cars, you know, the works.

So we all pile into the bar (yes his house had a bar) 10 of us and a ounce and a half of mephedrone after a few hours of recreational drug abuse me and the missus start to get horny and decide to sneak off up stairs and find somewhere more quite,

It was a strong attempt on my behalf but needless to say it didn't get much further the giving and receiving oral as I was way to spangled to get Little Richard to get up and dance (my names Richard, not bbc), so me and the missus head down stairs and re-join the party like nothing happened.

Fast forward a week, and I get a phone call, its my mate laughing his fucking arse off! turns out the room we used contains the family's safe and it also contained a hidden fucking camera !! there was a 20 minute section of the video with me stood at the foot of the bed viciously beating my meat trying to get it up with my missus in front of me, legs wide open waiting for it!! in the end I give up and started racking up a couple of lines while she finished herself off
 
LMAO. How many people saw the vid? Did the missus? Been in similar situations many a time with my late husband on meth but thankfully no cameras! It's so cruel that stims make us so horny but unable to fuck/come.
 
luckily very few people saw it, I didn't have the heart to tell her it was filmed, she wouldn't have been able to face my friends again, I did however receive praise for my determination from my friends MUM!!!
 
LOL the mum! That's great. I'd love to be caught on film...why have I not made a sex tape yet? Not to post online, unless I were masked at the least. Sadly too potentially problematic. I wonder if those sex clubs film or let you film?
 
F.U.B.A.R said:
the total weirdness of the situation meant I couldn't fuckin' get it up for the life of me.

IMPOTENCY!! fubar... This is it!!

NSFW:


The drugs in your dreams that you posted about... it's all about sexual problems isn't it!! look:

I led her into the bedroom (she was wearing nothing but stockings and sussies by this point) where we could continue 'the business'.

equates to:

Stee then buggered off to get a shower, leaving me alone with the goods. True to form, as soon as his back was turned, I was 'in like Flynn'

Then

And waited.

And waited some more...

Ziltch. Fuck all.

Fuckin milk powder...

Equates to

I couldn't fuckin' get it up for the life of me.


All these dreams about drugs resemble sex problems!

I'm fascinated now!? Do you have many disastrous sexual experiences like this?? Seems like it's a re-occurring theme? Tell us all about it =D


Stee's reaction in your dream is perfectly fitting to this!!

F.U.B.A.R said:
Then Stee came back into the room with a face like thunder and said "I know what you did".

"Wot?" Says I.

"I know what you did" he repeated.

"So fuckin what?" I said. "It's shit anyway..."

"Shit anyway"... Well we all know what that means now, don't we...



But a bigger point here... Many people like to think that sex is just a bit of "fun", a laugh, craziness / whatever.... Really though, it can be very hurtful for others and you don't know how much it can affect other people close to you.

*sorry to spoil frivolous mood of thread* You didn't have to click on this NSFW button. Go away!
 
IMPOTENCY!! fubar... This is it!!

NSFW:


The drugs in your dreams that you posted about... it's all about sexual problems isn't it!! look:



equates to:



Then



Equates to




All these dreams about drugs resemble sex problems!

I'm fascinated now!? Do you have many disastrous sexual experiences like this?? Seems like it's a re-occurring theme? Tell us all about it =D


Stee's reaction in your dream is perfectly fitting to this!!



"Shit anyway"... Well we all know what that means now, don't we...



But a bigger point here... Many people like to think that sex is just a bit of "fun", a laugh, craziness / whatever.... Really though, it can be very hurtful for others and you don't know how much it can affect other people close to you.

*sorry to spoil frivolous mood of thread* You didn't have to click on this NSFW button. Go away!

Bastard!! ;)


Actually, I wrote a long reply to your latest psychoanalysis of my pathetic self in my 'drug dreams' thread about a week ago, but lost the fuckin lot. However, I will try again because I've got another one for you to rape my psyche with...
 
Mine was waaay Worse than ED...WHICH I used to experience before realizing reynards syndrome extended to brewers droop(or mdma...or too much blow, any speed, or other vasoconstrictors]...then everything got better once started exercising, improving my blood circulation via herbs, and breath work, - worst ever blatantly was the one chick who just lay there.

We tried to fuck before, I didn't fancy her at all (could've had sumat to do wit it!) And I guess we were both bit anxious, but gagging for a fuck after both had a dry spell.
We were hookingup at 6th form (she was in my law class), after being mates and going out with mutual friends.

well it just didn't pan out once on a break in between classes, so forgot it for a while, I ended up having 4 chicks in a month once it became springtime, and then summer was abundant.
But the time it happened me and my mates took some e, we all went out drinking, and dancing at some mainstream night, went home to our mates to sleep in spare room together, and started necking ...I had a condom, so was like "yeaah go on", so we got undressed she was really wet already so we went straight to fucking, but as I got up inside her she just lay there. Totally like a corpse
. Really awkward.
This didn't change for 5mins, and I pulled out, rolled over and said "fuck this I'm bored!" I was way too tired for charm or even tact apparently, grumpy...went to sleep, woke p and she was like waiting for me to wake up and said "shall we go again?" !!unbelievable...I scoffed sleeply and rolled over. Terrible.
 
Last edited:
Mine was waaay Worse than ED...WHICH I used to experience before realizing reynards syndrome extended to brewers droop(or mdma...or too much blow, any speed, or other vasoconstrictors]...then everything got better once started exercising, improving my blood circulation via herbs, and breath work, - worst ever blatantly was the one chick who just lay there.

We tried to fuck before, I didn't fancy her at all (could've had sumat to do wit it!) And I guess we were both bit anxious, but gagging for a fuck after both had a dry spell.
We were hookingup at 6th form (she was in my law class), after being mates and going out with mutual friends.

well it just didn't pan out once on a break in between classes, so forgot it for a while, I ended up having 4 chicks in a month once it became springtime, and then summer was abundant.
But the time it happened me and my mates took some e, we all went out drinking, and dancing at some mainstream night, went home to our mates to sleep in spare room together, and started necking ...I had a condom, so was like "yeaah go on", so we got undressed she was really wet already so we went straight to fucking, but as I got up inside her she just lay there. Totally like a corpse
. Really awkward.
This didn't change for 5mins, and I pulled out, rolled over and said "fuck this I'm bored!" I was way too tired for charm or even tact apparently, grumpy...went to sleep, woke p and she was like waiting for me to wake up and said "shall we go again?" !!unbelievable...I scoffed sleeply and rolled over. Terrible.

Heheh! 'Dead Frog Syndrome'... :)
 
^^ ha, I’ve unfortunately put my penis in a few girls like that. Literally like poking at a wet mattress. On the flip side, I’ve also passed out drunk/high while I’ve been in a girl.
 
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