Cycle Advice Advice on My TRT (( Trying to not freak out ))

Draven26

Draven26

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 21, 2013
Messages
740
So I'm out of my refill of Testosterone Cyp and the pharmacy says they won't refill it because of my doctor. I call the doc and he says not until I get my bloodwork to see where my numbers are at and I tried explaining to him that I still need at least one refill to get me through and it's been 2 weeks since my last injection and I have been feeling sluggish. No joke.. I didn't think it would take effect that soon but I can't seem to get out of bed and all I want to do is sleep and I've been emotional at random times. This is insane because I wasn't feeling this shitty when I quick cold turkey from that nasty Crystal Meth trap but now I'm all sorts of fucked up and I have another week till I see the doctor but I can't handle another week of hell man is there anything that would help with feeling sluggish and having test levels drop? D-aspartic acid? Or any other over the counter supplements? Would any of those benefit or would they be a waste? What would you guys do if you were me?
 
Its fairly depressing seeing how shitty docs are anymore and how healthcare in general has gone to shit.

In the short term, clomid may help but likely not. HCG definitely would if you can get some. Going forward, Id recommend what I tell everyone on HRT - have 6-12 months worth of test on hand at all times for unforeseen problems, insurance issues, etc.

This is exactly what low T did to me in terms of effects (couldnt function) which is why I made the decision pretty quickly never to cycle and just stay on. Worst case, Id try and get my hands on some adderall or something to help with energy levels in the short run if you dont have any other options.
 
Draven26 said:
So I'm out of my refill of Testosterone Cyp and the pharmacy says they won't refill it because of my doctor. I call the doc and he says not until I get my bloodwork to see where my numbers are at and I tried explaining to him that I still need at least one refill to get me through and it's been 2 weeks since my last injection and I have been feeling sluggish. No joke.. I didn't think it would take effect that soon but I can't seem to get out of bed and all I want to do is sleep and I've been emotional at random times. This is insane because I wasn't feeling this shitty when I quick cold turkey from that nasty Crystal Meth trap but now I'm all sorts of fucked up and I have another week till I see the doctor but I can't handle another week of hell man is there anything that would help with feeling sluggish and having test levels drop? D-aspartic acid? Or any other over the counter supplements? Would any of those benefit or would they be a waste? What would you guys do if you were me?
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Look on the bright side, if you've run out of injectable testosterone, once tested your numbers should be pretty low, so don't try boosting blood testosterone in the meantime with hCG or other shite otherwise you might show a false high and not qualify....
It's only a week, eat healthy, train hard, deal with it..
 
Swim15 said:
Its fairly depressing seeing how shitty docs are anymore and how healthcare in general has gone to shit.

In the short term, clomid may help but likely not. HCG definitely would if you can get some. Going forward, Id recommend what I tell everyone on HRT - have 6-12 months worth of test on hand at all times for unforeseen problems, insurance issues, etc.

This is exactly what low T did to me in terms of effects (couldnt function) which is why I made the decision pretty quickly never to cycle and just stay on. Worst case, Id try and get my hands on some adderall or something to help with energy levels in the short run if you dont have any other options.
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That last part when you mentioned adderal is what scares me the most. Because I sat both my parents down and told them the situation because they sensed I've been stressing out and were worried why I've been lethargic and didn't believe me when I lied and said I was sick but I told them the truth and they just suggested to grow a pair and handle it and that I'm a lot stronger than this and it would be okay. But here is the question I have for you guys. Do you think it would be wise for me to go in there on Friday the 1st of next month and tell them how I feel about being on TRT and how I hope to God that they will always prescribe it to me and tell them that if they ever kicked me off that I'd probably kill myself. If I told them something like this would they take it seriously and be afraid of the risk so that way I'd stay on? And to be honest knowing my crazy ass.. I wouldn't be making threats. I don't know what the hell happened to me over the years and I hate admitting that mentally I've grown weak with certain things in life but I fear that A) I'd really try to attempt suicide if I ever lost my prescription to Testosterone because in my mind I have nothing to lose since I still suffer from nightmares of my ex wife cheating and how I can't seem to move on no matter how many dates I go on with gorgeous fucking women the fact that I'm stuck in this hell kills me alone that I can't make love to any girl because I'm just not over the stupid fucking wife and it's been almost 2 fucking years and that alone kills me every damn day that I can't fix that or get over it and B) If I don't have the testosterone I would hate to feel what coming off of 3 years would feel like as my test levels crashed that I'd end up back on that vicious cycle of using meth just so I have the energy to make it through everyday until I decided to pick up that gun and blow my blood out. I'm really worried right now as to what's going to happen and I am fucking terrified of myself because I'm in a sober state using absolutely no drugs and I'm almost certain that I won't hesitate to take my fucking life if I lose the one good thing that's in my life which is being on Testosterone Replacement. It sounds pathetic I know.. I mean I have other good things like family and friends I guess but for me personally for my sense of well being and feeling wholeness.. Testosterone is the only thing that fills this fucking void. I don't know. Part of me feels like I should just get the bloods done and not speak a fucking word or tell them about how I'll lose my shit and kill myself if they stop prescribing it to me because if I do that that could back fire and in turn fuck up my chances and they'll probably put that on record and I get sent to the crazy hospital.. sorry for disappointing you guys with the way I think.. I wish I was a lot more stronger than this and hopefully I can control my actions and my way of thinking so life doesn't have to be so difficult. I just always think of the worse happening and I've been cynical for a few years now ever since my stupid divorce all I fear is more loss and I don't want to lose my prescription so I'll try to think optimistically that it will be okay I guess..
 
No, I think telling your doc that would be a terrible idea. HRT is generally a lifelong thing so there isnt any reason to take you off and, even if they did, theres a plethora of hormone clinics everywhere now that you could go to.

From your description though Id focus more on getting psychiatric help to deal with the real underlying problems. Not that testosterone isnt a need for men because it is in order to feel normal but Id work on addressing the other issues.

On that note, like I said, I advise everyone on TRT to stock 6-12 months worth of test and forget about it for that random, unlikely -just in case- issues of supply - especially people who tend to worry about it.
 
Swim15 said:
No, I think telling your doc that would be a terrible idea. HRT is generally a lifelong thing so there isnt any reason to take you off and, even if they did, theres a plethora of hormone clinics everywhere now that you could go to.

From your description though Id focus more on getting psychiatric help to deal with the real underlying problems. Not that testosterone isnt a need for men because it is in order to feel normal but Id work on addressing the other issues.

On that note, like I said, I advise everyone on TRT to stock 6-12 months worth of test and forget about it for that random, unlikely -just in case- issues of supply - especially people who tend to worry about it.
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Thank you for the advice.. I appreciate it and yes I am definitely looking for a new therapist that specializes more in behavior and my therapist I am seeing now is okay.. she's nice.. but she doesn't offer a lot of feedback and I've had several sessions but all she does mainly is head nods and says, "mm mmmmhmm" but doesn't give any feedback really and I'm used to therapists going on and on about their life more than trying to help me out lmaooo trial and error I guess but I'm gonna try till I find one specializes in more than one problem and who has the experience to be able to help figure out my issues. Everyone thinks I should get on medication for my problem and think that I really am bipolar but I won't do anti-depressants again and I don't want to be medicated. Testosterone is the only medicine I won't mind staying on for the rest of my life. If they want they could prescribe me Desoxyn (( though it's methamphetamine hydrochloride and I am a meth addict )) but 5mgs won't do much.. and it would mainly be for a mood lift and higher energy levels but lol probably not the wisest and besides it would be difficult to get a script like that for someone who is not obese and who doesn't suffer from severe ADHD.
 
Just out of curiosity.. do you think they would check for other drugs when they do my blood work at the endocrinologist or no? And let's say if I did test positive for meth would that give them the right to kick me off HRT? I mean I've been clean well over a month but I was just curious if they do test for other drugs when they get your bloodwork done just for my own peace of mind
 
No they don?t although from your history I?d definitely stay off the meth since it?s only going to exacerbate any mental health issues
 
Ok bro I'm gonna give you my advice from what I've bee thru. DO NOT tell THAT doctor a thing!! Once you open that can of worms with a doctor like that its over. Is this your Endo or your PCP?? I believe you said Endo but I didn't know if you have a cool PCP. Bro you were hooked on meth, why would you want Desoxyn?? Its meth HCL-out of the question for you bro. You def should see a shrink if you even think your bipolar. If you are you NEED meds for real! I didn't know for awhile that I was bipolar and abused street drugs and gear forever. 75% of bipolar people abuse drugs to kill the pain. If you are you must be medicated or you're in for a rough go. I was in denial for a very long time- I didn't want to say I had a mental illness and I certainly suffered as a result. My moods were so bad my wife almost wanted out. I'm on meds now and I'm much more stable but I do get mini manic episodes time to time. I abused gear for 20 yrs and cocaine for like 3 yrs. My PCP is very progressive and gave my a low dose script of Adderall for cocaine cravings for almost a yr. I don't crave anymore so its all good. Get a CBT therapist for your issues and I promise it'll help!! Just my opinions

JJ
 
BigJJ said:
Ok bro I'm gonna give you my advice from what I've bee thru. DO NOT tell THAT doctor a thing!! Once you open that can of worms with a doctor like that its over. Is this your Endo or your PCP?? I believe you said Endo but I didn't know if you have a cool PCP. Bro you were hooked on meth, why would you want Desoxyn?? Its meth HCL-out of the question for you bro. You def should see a shrink if you even think your bipolar. If you are you NEED meds for real! I didn't know for awhile that I was bipolar and abused street drugs and gear forever. 75% of bipolar people abuse drugs to kill the pain. If you are you must be medicated or you're in for a rough go. I was in denial for a very long time- I didn't want to say I had a mental illness and I certainly suffered as a result. My moods were so bad my wife almost wanted out. I'm on meds now and I'm much more stable but I do get mini manic episodes time to time. I abused gear for 20 yrs and cocaine for like 3 yrs. My PCP is very progressive and gave my a low dose script of Adderall for cocaine cravings for almost a yr. I don't crave anymore so its all good. Get a CBT therapist for your issues and I promise it'll help!! Just my opinions

JJ
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I agree with this 100%. Having dated quite a few women who were bipolar, getting checked out and properly medicated changed their lives for the better completely. That is once they found the proper meds and dose to treat the problem. The way my girl talks about how she was unmedicated, I couldn't imagine living like that.
 
Completely agree with everyone else. Tell me about your ex in your next pm...maybe I can help. How long until you get bloodwork back & more T?
 
Hey bud, to be honest I read Bout half the thread and what it is about and if it boils down to TRT and that your pituitary gland is shutdown then trt is a permant thing. From my own exp. One dose of 100mg test cyp kept me in normal range but did raise my estro levels so I still used an AI or serms from time to time. But the only way to keep track is regular bloods.. Hope this helps or Im completely of track and if so I apologize in advance! Good luck

Much Love
Your Coffeetonian
 
I agree tell DR NOTHING!!HONESTY IS NOT ALWAYS BEST TO PHYSICIANS SORRY BUT TRUE! AWESOME ADVICE BIGJJ
 
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Omg you're not a disappointment, and pathetic!!!
You tell your Dr you're going to kill yourself and if you are THINKING that way please im begging you TELL HIM OR HER!!!
Do u have Insurance? I am only a nurse, and addict!
Ive told same!! Without Insurance tooooo!!!
I dont want to tell you that unless it's private!?
Im GOING TO REQUEST your friendship and we will continue OKAY?
Sorry im freaking out wanting to Help you asap so fuvk th the SPELLING!! I JUST lost my little brother six months ago to a gun and I keep seeing him reaching for me!!
Dont do it please don't!!!!
Ill help you ALL I CAN
 
Hes not going to take you off testerone meds for suicide thoughts! Have you told dr all u JUST told me US? Tell the f that u need sex and the ex f w you're mind and body! Have you tried injections? I worked in emergency room so don't be embarrassed about ANYTHING!!
Sorry but you still love your ex too much too?
JUST WANT TO Help sorry for a million questions lol
 
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I can't also add that low test levels can make a male suicidal and walk down a dark path as that is our main driving hormone as a male as this makes sense.
 
Damn I didn't realize I was going to get all these replies and I'm crying like hell right now. I don't know why I'm all emotional right now but I guess it's just been freaking me out. The only reason why I was scared and wondering what would happen is because I'm not going to lie to you guys. I have been clean for a little over a month from my methamphetamine use. But I've been seriously so exhausted and I can barely stay away and the only time I'm up is when I'm preparing my meals and eating and my appointment to get my blood work is tomorrow so I fear that I'm not gonna wake up in time or hear my alarm and I trust myself that I won't go out and buy any meth and stay sober but just wanted to know the worst case scenario if i did slip and used.. would they check for other drugs like meth or anything else when they did my blood work or are they doing a specific kind of blood work that would check only my estrogen, test and hormones in general because I wouldn't want them finding meth in my system and telling me they have to kick me off because of that reason that's all.

And I'll be completely honest about the ex wife. I know this probably will sound crazy and not believable to most of you out there because usually men and women think differently when it comes to intimacy but I think of intimacy in the same way a woman does. It's an emotional thing for me too and I don't know why but my wife had a big impact on me and our intimacy towards the end was so deep that it left me so fucked up when she just up and left out of the blue. I understand she was hurt by the fact that she miscarried because she wanted a baby so bad but she understood very well that it was like a knife to my fucking chest when we last our baby because I was looking forward to having 2 little girls of my own and I cried like hell when the doctor told us that it was a possibility of having twin girls so in a way I guess I just resent her still but it sucks because a lot of women have been trying to talk to me and date me and it's been like 2 years now I think since my ex wife and I divorced and I still can't manage to get over this shit and move on and be happy with another woman. Like this shit really sucks and I feel like I should of never gotten married because I don't ever want to feel the kind of pain I do feel right now and I just want to be able to move on and treat it as a life lesson but not hold on to the painful memories and sometimes I'll have these reoccurring nightmares about being intimate with my ex wife and wake up screaming when she says goodbye in the dream and is gone and I wake up, look to my left and it's an empty bed with no wife and it's just me.. fuck it's terrible! I can't really explain it any better than I just did and maybe I'm the on that's being a little bitch and need to man up but I don't know. One thing is for sure man I definitely will find a therapist and try to see if I could get on the right kind of medication because I feel like I really might be bipolar.. my moods can get extreme and I can't keep telling myself that I have it under control and scaring my family and friends when I have my episodes where I do some crazy shit I can't even begin to explain but I want to make sure I'll be okay. I know I'm a good man with a kind heart that just wants to see others happy and live in peace but I have to take better care of myself!
 
So if I slip and use meth.. they won't check for that when they do blood work right? I am just so damn tired and I want to make sure I wake up for my alarm and not miss my appointment tomorrow and I would hate to relapse after being clean for a month but I just don't know what else to do and I want to make sure they won't get upset if they did find meth in the system and kick me off cuz I don't trust myself. I told myself I lost my wife, I lost my friends, I lost my dream job being a preschool teacher that I worked hard to get, I lost everything. If I lost my Testosterone Prescription then fuck my life.. I'll lose that too! And I don't want that kind of thinking to haunt me all day worried about what tomorrow will bring
 
I think you are likely making it a bigger deal in your head than it is. I get it, Ive had zero test levels and it seriously blows. That said, when it comes to literally just getting through life or making it ONE day until a doc appointment...its really not that bad.

Youll be fine and you dont need fucking meth just to go to a dr appointment.
 
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