Is there a way out of this shit hole?

[zagor11]

Day 4. 80 mg

Hi Deb. Yes it is very hard. But I do believe in the saying "after every rain the sun will shine". This is not rain this is tsunami lol. Yes I decided. It won't be slow taper. I cannot suffer moderately for so long, I's rather suffer for 2 weeks severly and then heal my body. This weekend I plan to go down to either 40 mg or even zero.

How much Imodium did you take?

Today I went to see the doc. He gave me muscle relaxants. Too bad we don't have Soma in Canada. Also increased my celexa and added another anti-depressant

Right now I have zero energy. Going to washroom every few minutes is a burden. The pain is 8/10. I use Advil for pain.

My belly is getting bigger. I have rapid weight gain for some reason. Oxy gave me 60 lbs but going off is supposed to go down with weight not up.

 

[VastEmpty]

Day 4. 80 mg

Hi Deb. Yes it is very hard. But I do believe in the saying "after every rain the sun will shine". This is not rain this is tsunami lol. Yes I decided. It won't be slow taper. I cannot suffer moderately for so long, I's rather suffer for 2 weeks severly and then heal my body. This weekend I plan to go down to either 40 mg or even zero.

How much Imodium did you take?

Today I went to see the doc. He gave me muscle relaxants. Too bad we don't have Soma in Canada. Also increased my celexa and added another anti-depressant

Right now I have zero energy. Going to washroom every few minutes is a burden. The pain is 8/10. I use Advil for pain.

My belly is getting bigger. I have rapid weight gain for some reason. Oxy gave me 60 lbs but going off is supposed to go down with weight not up.

Hey Zag -

I think your attitude of sun after rain is great! I think of wds as sort of bringing my life back into balance. I?ve used a synthetic way to have more energy and get more accomplished - for years. I should be happy that it only takes a few weeks to get it back to moderately ok. Should being the important word there. It doesn?t always work, but I do believe that life is about balance and it WILL balance itself one way or another. Best not to fight it.

Can I ask how old you are and if you work, Zag? I think that the super quick taper could certainly work. Are you able to taper easily or is it a struggle to do so? What kind of quick taper are you thinking? 40 mgs Sat and Sunday and then down to 20 for 2 days and then done? Or just jump off from the 40?

Your doctor sounds supportive other than the obvious issue of forcing you off opiates. I?m glad. Some doctors can be real assholes about getting off of opiates.

Could your belly getting bigger be part of the water retention issue you have? I wouldn?t worry too much about not losing weight on day 4. If you get to day 40 and your still gaining pounds then maybe it?s time to figure out what?s up, but right now your body is trying to balance itself and needs to find that balance.

You are doing fucking awesome. I, like you and Debbie, only use BL as support. I worry where I would be without this forum. Even when I?m not active and posting I?m always reading and learning and growing. You got this, Zag. Just keep moving forward with your plan.

- VE

 

[EPL1]

I'm sorry you also have chronic pain, it's a rough road for sure.

Here if you need anything, very proud of you.

Much love,
your friend,
Ash.

Hey Ash. Thank you for offering your support. I really need it right now. Some encouragement would be very welcome right now. Yes I have chronic pain, it's pelvic floor that's not functioning and is very painful.

VE I get your point. It is better to taper than go CT. Thank you. That is the best way to quit. But I have one huge advantage that most other people don't and that is I don't have any cravings. Also this is my first WD if you don't count the 17 hours of moderate WD I mentioned before. But I hope it is the last. I might use it again in the future only next time it won't be 300 mg a day lol. Just recreational.

When it comes to support options, I have or can get any meds/drugs I want but I don't have support from any people. The only support I got is what YOU gave attention to my thread and helped. I would love if someone was next to me to help me heal but nope, no one. I use ativan when I need it. I reached my tolerance to klonopin. I was on 12mg a day. Now I currently take 1 mg twice. I weaned down and I will wean completely after oxycodone.

How long does it take to reset tolerance to opioids and benzos? I know that it depends from person to person but what is median amount of time? Is it months or years.....I know a guy who also just like me couldn;t get high after he quit suboxone. 5 years later and still no effects from it or from alcohol. But that's OK as long as my depression and anxiety is under control. I was happier when I was sober and I wasted 5 years of my life being messed up by drugs. I am starting to feel more "real" already.

 

[Debbie Combs]

Hey Zagor, hows it going? Fight the fight! I took Imodium as needed for stomach issues. There were days during the first two weeks I would take 8mg ( doubled the dose ) but not everyday, it did relieve withdrawls. Hopefully CJ can help if you need more guidance. Some take massive amounts. Do you think it’ll be a problem with your stomach and pelvic already messed up?
Glad you got a muscle relaxer, it will help. I feel for you, hoping the best. Keep posting

 

[zagor11]

I am at 40 mg. Taking 10 mg every 6 hours. No supplements besides muscle relaxant, Imodium and tylenol extra strength and water. That is all I have in my bedroom. I don't have energy to go downstairs where I keep most of my pills today. Haven't took my anti depressants and klonopin since yesterday. I regret going CT but there is no way back. I tell people I have a flu as an excuse. I havent slept since yesterday 4 am and now it is 3 pm. 35 hours in agony. Luckily I have enough imoidium so I don't have bad and frequent runs. My body ache is 7/10.

VE- My man I should have listened to you when you was tipping that I do slow taper. But the reason why I did not taper is my mental issues. IDK how to explain it (btw I am not fluent in English) but I couldn't go to moderate pain long term when I could end it sooner.

You couldn't be more wrong about my doctor. That prick should work under supervision. All he knows is to prescribe some meds. 90 of the meds I take is what I asked for. In other words I am self medicating.

I gained at least 20 lbs in the last 30 days or so. My abdomen in huge but yesterday it was swollen totally. I have water retention and probably in abdomen the most. DR prick apparently never heard of diuretics. But this is too serious to self medicate and I don't trust him anyway so I made an appt. with another doctor for Tuesday. I have to make it no matter how I feel. If I wasn't in wd Id go to ER.

Anyway there is nothing I can do on computer except posting here and running YouTube. So long.

 

[Debbie Combs]

Well, it’s good to hear you are still doing it. I hope you get some sleep. 3-4 hrs better than nothing.
Maybe you should try to make it downstairs for your anti depressant? If you are able. Movement helped me, made time go by quicker. Sucks watching the clock when you feel horrible. Best of luck, just continue posting

 

[zagor11]

Thank You Debbie, I still can't sleep. The restlessness is in my arms not only in the legs. I had people painting my house for 3 days they finished today finally. This abdominal thing has to do with my meds imo. Better that than heart failure I guess. Gabapentin does nothing for wd I have to wd from it too probably. Wish never touched pills.....

 

[zagor11]

My abdomes has swallen all the way. I remember when a doc at er has said when you quit opioids ct it can cause it. The swelling made me immobile. So I took 30 mg pill and it reduced. Later today I took 40 mg and was able to dring and eat without swelling. So I guess I will have to wean off after all. Now only do I worry abound possible effects of abd. swelling but I literally looked as A woman who is 9 months pregnant and carries triplets. This 10 kilo weight was because I went from 300 mg to 160....or water retention. Anyway. My stomach is now much better. I wanna shoot my self for getting back on oxy thats how angry I am but what could I have done? I had trouble eating, drinking and that was the only reasonable move to make. In my whole life I have not seen a man with such a huge belly except if the man is fat elsewhere. I guess I will take steps to tapar but will see this new doctor on Tuesday anyway and hopefully making him my permanent doctor.

I obviously don't intend to go back to 300mg but 120-160 per day for 3 days...then take 20 mg off...