• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Detox Finally stopped the methadone clinic

I really do care honey, I'm glad you liked it.

No reason to feel guilty, you're human, everyone has their own struggles, and no ones is more important than anothers.

I'm glad you are seeing that staying numb doesn't help in the long run. I'm really proud of you.

I sincerely wish you peace and happiness, you deserve those, you're a really fantastic person, I really think so.


Look forward to more updates about your journey.

Much love and support,
your friend,
Ash.

P.S, You rock Deb!!! xoxo


!
Ash, I’m so sorry. Thank you for the card. It did make me smile. Someone cares!
i will say logging this process does help. Helps to get feelings out there and whine. Cause most of mine has been one long whine.
Feel lots of guilt. My life, I had so many hopes. I’ve stayed so messed up, looking for peace just to find out that peace comes from within. I’ve looked down bottles for peace, taken pills and more pills just to find it. It’s not there. That ride always comes to an end. Then it’s just empty and you are left with all these guilty “should have” feelings. Gosh if you are young and reading this, don’t waste your life looking for fun like that. It’s fun but not genuine. Peace will never find you if you are fucked up.
 
Thank both of you for the encouraging comments! It does mean a lot.
This evening is still much the same. The good news, it’s staying the same. Same body ache, muscles, stomach, no appetite. I bundled up and walked the dog. Didn’t go far, can tell I’m weaker than before.
ive had injuries from playing sports. At various times, broken each leg, one ankle, had teeth knocked out by a baseball, line drive while pitching lol, 4 ribs, several concussions. Can say I enjoy a challenge, competitive. Knees, hip and neck. The neck being the worst of all injuries, coming from that crappy baseball.
the winter weather moving in, it’ll hurt. I know this. Even on methadone I would feel it ache. Make my knee weak, makes it give way. Wonder how this weather event will feel? Fun........
my parents still think I’m sick with flu. Mom wants me to go to the ER. I hate lying. I’ve got to tell them, this isn’t right.
again, if you read this thank you. Any comments or suggestions, advice always welcomed.
 
It shouldn't get any worse at this point. The next few days will be more of the same most likely. The big thing is to stay hydrated and try to get a few calories if you can.

Your doing really great. This will end.
 
Wow CJ, that is music to my ears! You have definitely been a great source of knowledge. I appreciate it, sorry that you had to go through any of this, but to help others with your experience is priceless. Google. Has nothing much. Doesn’t give any real plan, doesn’t offer any ideas like comfort meds, not the sites I saw.
Day 6 evening..........still stomach messed up. Got a bit of energy earlier and ate “ Lo Mein”. Might not have been the wisest choice but I did not care for a salad. My body was crying for carbs. It stayed down, but it’s turning to water. I’m taking 1/2 a trazadone, no xanax but have melatonin. Hoping I can sleep some without the benzo. I’ve been eating Advil like candy. Foggy brain, sometimes I can’t remember what I’ve taken or when. Hope for sleep. Thank you for reading.
 
Anything you feel like eating is a good choice at this point. I thought earlier but forgot to post stay away from caffeine at all costs. It makes everything worse during withdrawal. Also avoid Benadryl it causes restless legs to intensify.

Your lucky you can sleep. Most people experience horrible insomnia during withdrawal. Advil is good you can mix Tylenol and Advil together for maximum effect. It's safe because they are processed by different mechanisms. So max out both up too 4000mg of Tylenol a day and 1600 mg of advil a day is fine in the short term.

How much loperamide are you taking a day?
 
Hey CJ
2 nights......I took 4, 2mg lope
1 day..........I took 2, 2mg occasionally now I take one as needed for stomach issues
xanax - 1 .5 everynight
clonidine. .1 mg twice a day
Trazadone 50mg. 1 daily, I have cut this in 1/2. I can not function on this full strength
melatonin 3mgs every night
 
I attribute sleeping to Xanax. I tried last night to NOT take it. I was awake with my thoughts until 3am and caved took a whole one. Sucks cause my body will get back with that, if not already. It’s like an old comfortable shoe, easy to slip into. Knocks out anxiety and makes me sleep. Why would a Dr want to take that away? Instead he is trying to find an antidepressant to take its place to reduce anxiety. I never took more than the recommended dose. Never got high off it. It just helped me. So, it frustrates me.
 
I usually drink 2 or 3 cups of coffee every morning. Drinking second cup reading your post that caffeine triggers. Could be the reason I feel so crappy until evening? Holy Cow! Well, no more coffee.
this morning I woke and felt decent. I mean pretty good, even with stomach messed up, stuffy head. I did not need to sit back and wait for methadone to kick in to move. Felt great, well not too great. I’m not done, I’m sure. Insomnia is right around the corner as I try to stop my beloved benzos,
incidentally, I have got an appt with a new doctor, she can not take me until April 11. I did get frustrated at my Dr taking me off benzos after years and years and years. Not saying to taper. Pissed me to no end.
 
Yeah I didn't really think melatonin or Trazadone would do much while your withdrawing. You could try taking more Clonidine before bed like .2mg. I have taken up to .5mg at once during a particularly bad Suboxone withdrawal. It made me dizzy as shit but it helped. Also could try taking some loperamide with it at bedtime. My strategy with comfort meds was to take the heaviest doses at night. For some reason withdrawal at 2am is way worse then withdrawal at 2pm. No idea why guess it was just on my head.

I wouldn't feel overly concerned about using the Xanax. You can take it everyday for a couple weeks without too much rebound anxiety as long as you keep the dose reasonable. Xanax has a short half life so be strategic about when you dose
 
Thank you both much for the replies.
you said ?OK, I understand?. ....,,,now I?m a snot bubble. Maybe a Xanax for these crying jags would help.
I will try to get the above stuffs. Hard when you feel sick. Loperamide I have, as the benzo. I do not want to draw this out. If taking loperamide will push it back I can?t.
I have gotten the rest of this week off. Hoping by the following week most of the hard withdrawls be over. Hoping. Karatom? I had some years and years ago, couldn?t not get that nasty powder down. Have they changed it any in the past 10 yrs?

In my experience, Imoduim (loperamide) will not drag out withdrawal. When I have gotten off Suboxone in the past, I take Imodium for a few days (mind you, you need to take a very high dose for it to work, and you will likely get very constipated), and it takes away my physical withdrawal symptoms. After a few days, I stop the Imodium and I feel fine. This is because Imodium does not cross the blood-brain barrier. It will help with symptoms of physical withdrawal, but it will not make you "high" in any way whatsoever.

Kratom, on the other hand, is not a good idea if you don't want to drag this out. I take Kratom, but it is more of a maintenance drug for me. Kind of like Suboxone or methadone, only Kratom doesn't make me tired and lazy the way subs or methadone do. However, if I stop taking Kratom, I will immediately go into withdrawal. Maybe the withdrawal wouldn't be quite as bad as it would be with some of these stronger maintenance drugs, but it is still full-blown withdrawal.
 
Kratom addictive? Wow, back in the day, when I heard, tried it, was said to NOT be addictive. Was one of the attractions. I guess mixing with pudding, but that stuff was a dry powder. Reminded me of taking a tsp of cinnamon lol. Do they have it in pill form?
Like I said befor LOPE really makes my stomach cramp for whatever reason. Makes sense taking at night, maybe able to sleep with that discomfort.
 
CJ.......I’m rethinking the Imodium messing with my stomach. It’s probably a withdrawal symptom huh? Maybe I should take a couple during the day. It’s day 8........ my stomach is a mess. Nausea too.
AND when I try to do things, I get all shaky. What is that all about? This never ends. Small discomforts after the last 5 days but still, bothersome.
 
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Yes if you're still having bathroom issues take a few lop. The wonky stomach issues are 100 percent from wd's.

Congrats on day 8 Debbie!!

Hugs,
Ash.

CJ.......I’m rethinking the Imodium messing with my stomach. It’s probably a withdrawal symptom huh? Maybe I should take a couple during the day. It’s day 8........ my stomach is a mess. Nausea too.
AND when I try to do things, I get all shaky. What is that all about? This never ends. Small discomforts after the last 5 days but still, bothersome.
 
If your having loose stool aka diaheria then taking higher doses of lope is the solution. You can take higher doses within reason hell some people take 100mg and it totally stops their withdrawal. But I don't recommend that for various reasons. My point is it's fine to take as much love as you need to treat your stomach symptoms. It will also help with nausea. Though there are better prescription drugs specifixally designed for that. If your still in touch with your doctor ask him to call in phenergen. And a muscle relaxer while he's at it.

How much advil and Tylenol are you taking a day? Are you eating a little before taking them? Big doses can cause stomach pain on an empty stomach. If you haven't tried maxing out both Tylenol and Advil at the same time you should. It will lower the volume on the muscle pain significantly.
 
Stocked up on Tylenol, ibuprofen, Imodium. So far so good. I’ll not being drinking coffee in mornings for awhile, well maybe half a cup. That’s like one of my favorite things, will b hard to let it go.
i got out and about today. Felt good but still shaky. Tiring just what little I did.
Tomorrows snowstorm is going to be a problem. I’m the one who keeps the snow off the greenhouses so they will not collapse. There are 7 of them. 4 really big ones. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It supports three families this business. Maybe it will not be as cold, maybe it’ll b a light snow.
 
I’m kinda scared to do any drug that can be addicting right now. Even the Imodium. I do not ever want to go through this again. Ever, but I know, once I’m feeling good, I’ll think to myself if I feel this good I can feel better. I gotta find a way to be happy with the way I am. To be bored.
Day 8-evening. Sore muscles, not sore in bones. Feels like I’ve worked out hard on shoulders upper back. Sneezing comes and goes, stomach settled with the Lope. Feel the old neck injury. Anxiety. I do feel anxiety. Much better over all. I haven’t been out too much. Have shut myself in, looking forward to getting out more. I get nervous, like incredibly nervous today. No appetite. Force food. Force water. Have maintained 6 bottles of water each day throughout.
If I can do this being an old lady, anyone can. Follow with comfort meds. Be prepared for days of misery. It’s bad but you will live. Thank you if you have read through this.
 
Day 9. Guessing the luck did not hold out. Not much sleep. 3-5am........leg thing did not come back for the last 2 nights. Thankful for that. Stomach is still problematic rumbling and boiling, staying near bathroom even while taking Imodium. Guess I need to up the dose. Always been sensitive to gastric meds, this is unreal. I can not remember a time when I have ever had this problem. Everything is much the same with body ache, I do feel cold again however. Can not get warm. Might have to do with the weather, it’s in the 20’s and I live in a drafty house. I have up the temp from 68 to 72. Seems to help. Do not look forward to electric bill. Thanks again for reading, any comments advice are always welcomed.
 
You'll be fine taking imodium Deb.

Believe me, they will save you a lot of trips to the bathroom. Lol.

I do agree about the boredom, try to find something, anything, you enjoy, even if its just journaling here.

I'm glad you're feeling much better over all, I am so proud of you.

You're no old lady, you are a strong, capable, driven woman with a new start.

Much love,
your friend,
Ash.


I’m kinda scared to do any drug that can be addicting right now. Even the Imodium. I do not ever want to go through this again. Ever, but I know, once I’m feeling good, I’ll think to myself if I feel this good I can feel better. I gotta find a way to be happy with the way I am. To be bored.
Day 8-evening. Sore muscles, not sore in bones. Feels like I’ve worked out hard on shoulders upper back. Sneezing comes and goes, stomach settled with the Lope. Feel the old neck injury. Anxiety. I do feel anxiety. Much better over all. I haven’t been out too much. Have shut myself in, looking forward to getting out more. I get nervous, like incredibly nervous today. No appetite. Force food. Force water. Have maintained 6 bottles of water each day throughout.
If I can do this being an old lady, anyone can. Follow with comfort meds. Be prepared for days of misery. It’s bad but you will live. Thank you if you have read through this.
 
Thank you Ash for the words of encouragement, sometimes they hit the spot. Depression is bad today.
 
Yes the depression is from the wd for sure. It won't last forever, hang in there ok?

Here if you need me Deb, you're doing really well.

your friend,
Ash.

Thank you Ash for the words of encouragement, sometimes they hit the spot. Depression is bad today.
 
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