You're not being over dramatic.. it's a pretty substantial step to take in life. It's both a physical fight as well as a psychological one, with social implications as well. Letting an addiction go unchecked has ruined a lot of lives, even taken some along the way.
Dealing with the shame and intense emotions amplified by withdrawal is one of the more difficult aspects, in my experience. When you're used to dealing with emotions by getting high it can be hard enough, but factor in that you will experience more intense emotions as well and it makes sense why the body and brain basically scream for it like it will die without.
As far as what other people think- try your best not to worry or stress over it. Know that you are doing the right thing, that you are taking care of yourself and taking the step to free yourself from opioids. Chances are the truth would have come out one way or another- either from getting clean or from getting too fucked up... Don't let anyone shame you away from the truth and away from recovery, and yourself included in that list.
What did they do at the ER? If you are serious about getting over this, then it will be necessary to let the doctor who prescribed the pain killers know what is going on, and that you do not want any opioids now or in the future.
On the bright side, 80-100mg of hydrocodone per day is a lot, but isn't that much in comparison to how bad it can get. At my worst, I was taking 50-100mg of hydrocodone along with fentanyl patches, massive amounts of benzos and weed, sprinkled with amphetamine, cocaine, lsd, heroin, codeine, methadone, and whatever else I could get my hands on. Was forced to detox in jail, alone in a padded cell with not even a pot to piss in. Went into a psychosis, probably had seizures, and more. It was hell, but the important thing is that I made it through.
Prepare to lose your guts. I'd stock up on TP and keep a waste basket next to the toilet. Having to puke while you can't get off the toilet isn't uncommon. You have opioid receptors in your gut, which is why taking opioids makes you constipated. When you stop, it will have the opposite effect. Staying hydrated is very important and an electrolyte drink like Pedialyte can do wonders. Try to eat a few small meals throughout the day, even if you puke it up.
Heat pads for the restless legs and hot showers or baths can help. Your muscles will probably start to feel uncomfortable and tense if they haven't already. This is normal, don't panic. Maybe a small walk around the yard or the block might help- probably don't want to go too far though.
Communicate whats going on with your wife. Being alone, isolated in a dark room with your thoughts for too long isn't good. Maybe refer your wife to support groups or sites like this to help her understand what is going on.
You'll need to take it easy for the next few weeks as well. Stress will likely serve as a trigger and only make things worse. Your body and mind has limits- know that by resting and allowing yourself to recover you are not being lazy. I wouldn't push yourself until after a week or two at least. Even after then, don't expect to jump back to 100% right away. Look up post-acute withdrawal, it is what you will experience after the acute withdrawal(what you are in now, and for the next 2 weeks or so).
Feel free to ask us any questions here, even if it's just for emotional support. Recovery is nothing to be ashamed of, and addiction is nothing to beat yourself up over. It's far more common than most would imagine, in fact most people today either know someone, know of someone, or have gone through it themselves. It's not a matter of weakness or lack of willpower, it's the physiological results of taking an addictive drug. Idk if it's more funny or sad that doctors are more than willing to get people stuck on addictive drugs and then act like it's not their job to help a person get off them.
First off, I was an opiate addict for a long time. I know how terrible it feels. I also know what it's like to hide it from your spouse. A word of advice, after this you need to not hide it from her anymore. One breach of trust can be pretty easily forgiven by many people, and she'll probably want to help you. But if you keep lying and going back and she keeps finding out, it will be very difficult to regain that trust and your relationship will quickly fall apart. My marriage ended because I couldn't stay off (though in my case I was using opiates to hide from my marriage which was a bad one so it was a good thing in the end - but it doesn't sound like this is the case for you).
