Bluelight

Thread: How many friends/family members have cut contact with you from drug use?

Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. Collapse Details
    How many friends/family members have cut contact with you from drug use? 
    #1
    Due to the stigma?

    I'm surprised this isn't more common with bluelighters given the insane drug propaganda that the majority of society believes. It seems that I'll have to cut my entire family and keep my drug use under wraps when I get money. They just aren't tolerant and did threaten to kick me out for something unrelated. I also am weary of talking about drugs to others my age because from past experience, a girl looked at me differently and stopped talking to me.

    Is this the reality? Even if you don't steal, end up homeless and looked "kept together", do most people really have contempt for hard core drug users?
    Reply With Quote
     

  2. Collapse Details
     
    #2
    Bluelighter Sammie-Dean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    79
    Sadly yes they do and I learnt very quickly to keep it to myself due to the stigma and attitude from most people.
    Reply With Quote
     

  3. Collapse Details
     
    #3
    Moderator
    The Dark Side

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    TDS
    Posts
    2,936
    It's hard to say to be honest. I've cut a lot of friends off because of my drug use rather than the other way around. I know I've been cut off so to say by a lot of good friends that I valued a lot as my downward spiral really began to take off, but before things got dark and even right as I started using drugs I cut off a lot of really good friends because I thought they were boring and unexciting or judgmental because they thought I was headed down a bad path. Before I got into drugs I was actually starting to get really involved in a church planting, working as a youth pastor and playing in the worship band. Once I started smoking pot with the occasional psychedelics and mdma, I felt like anyone who didn't smoke pot was a square and not of interest, that only interesting people smoked weed and partied. Basically all my close friends from highschool who were really great friends that I had had for years. Then once I got into drug dealing, regular drug users were no longer interesting to me, so basically cut most everyone off who wasn't up to the same shit with the exception of a few ride or dies.

    When I finally quit dealing drugs, it was interesting to see who still came around. Family who I would have died for no longer answer my calls, others who I thought might wish I would have taken a bullet already have been some of the most supportive. The friends that stick around and maintain through the real toguh times are the ones that I have realized are the ones worth working to keep around. The ones that leave at first signs of trouble are really just weeding themselves out.. I try not to worry much about those.
    Reply With Quote
     

  4. Collapse Details
     
    #4
    Mafioso nailed it. I haven't spoken to one of my older sisters in years because she proclaimed that she wasn't speaking to me until I went to rehab. This is someone I haven't been around for years prior and barely spoke to anyway. My drug use was no where near her since she's lived 1300 miles away for the past 6 years. This also the older sister who threw parties at our parents house and was ok with her friends getting her10-16 yr old brother drunk and high. Ironic much?

    I'm now approaching 2 months sober (no rehab lol) and have no desire to have negative forces around including much of my family and supposed friends. I believe it's better this way, either during active in addiction or during sobriety. I don't have any love lost. 3 reliable, good friends are better than 20 flakes and hangarounds. It's just tough when you're financially dependent on potentially toxic people.
    Reply With Quote
     

  5. Collapse Details
     
    #5
    I hope i didnt do that today. My father has been evil but he is dying now and i kept calling when he said not to because he keeps breaking promises and i feel i am going insane from it. My mother ignores me for no reason. More evil than him. At least he was yelling at me. Didnt even know she moved out of state until after it happened. Ignores me ignores me. Hope my dad forgives me.

    Oh. No. It isn't stigma. Theyre just evil. I am innocent.
    Last edited by Jeanpauldash; 09-11-2018 at 05:12.
    Reply With Quote
     

  6. Collapse Details
     
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by TripMcnealy View Post
    Mafioso nailed it. I haven't spoken to one of my older sisters in years because she proclaimed that she wasn't speaking to me until I went to rehab. This is someone I haven't been around for years prior and barely spoke to anyway. My drug use was no where near her since she's lived 1300 miles away for the past 6 years. This also the older sister who threw parties at our parents house and was ok with her friends getting her10-16 yr old brother drunk and high. Ironic much?
    Woaah,,,that's sounds like b.s. Did you tell her what drugs you were taking?

    This hypocrisy never ceases to amaze me, in particular with people who are raging "alcoholics" on the weekend but look down on me for drinking two beers every day after work/school.
    Reply With Quote
     

  7. Collapse Details
     
    #7
    Moderator
    Drugs in the Media
    noonoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    2,637
    I have some cousins who quit talking to me after I had a nervous breakdown / mid life crisis. This is because I stole from my parents. I don't blame them.

    When I got in heavy with the booze I ditched a lot of people. Booze was the only friend I needed at the time.
    Reply With Quote
     

  8. Collapse Details
     
    #8
    Heavy stuff Jeanpaul, hope it works itself out with time. Cowardescent, funny you say that. She drinks like 2 bottles of wine a night. Anyway she knew I was taking pills, drinking, doing coke etc... She never minded when I had ecstasy parties at the house lol. Was fine with all of this and me selling shit out of the house for years.

    Funny thing is, she made this proclamation when I cleaned up after I had a complete meltdown, yes drugs were a part of it but only one factor of many i.e. mental illness, breaking up with fiance, her cat leaving fucking fleas in my apartment, losing job, no sleep, bombing the apartment etc...

    So instead of asking about what's going on, or seeing if addicts need help, it seems like most family members just assume whatever they want and cut ties as if some great wrong was done to them.

    During that time and more recently when I was sniffing dope and shooting Fent, all of my relatives were talking about me, spreading rumors, and just making things worse. Not one person came to me to ask what was going on with me. I probably would have broke down crying and told them I couldn't stop had one of my cousins just approached me about it.

    Since I'm clean I haven't heard from anyone at all. Only my few real friends from back home and my one good friend out here. My other older sister who threw the same parties, rents the apartment at my parents here and is very melodramatic about all of this. She acts as if we had some glorious relationship before and now "I'm back" lmao. Not the case. Methinks she likes the attention from outsiders, good or bad.

    Obviously addiction is a factor, but a nice portion of us fuckers had fucked up families to begin with.
    Reply With Quote
     

  9. Collapse Details
     
    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by noonoo View Post
    I have some cousins who quit talking to me after I had a nervous breakdown / mid life crisis. This is because I stole from my parents. I don't blame them.

    When I got in heavy with the booze I ditched a lot of people. Booze was the only friend I needed at the time.
    back story please?

    did the cousins stop because of the theft from parents.
    Reply With Quote
     

  10. Collapse Details
     
    #10
    I definitely found I was losing people slowly but surely, it's so sad and I know it's due the stupid shit they see on tv, internet etc. What about the fact they know me, well I thought so anyway! I haven't ever stole anything off anybody, I rattled when I couldn't get money, I wouldn't hurt a fly (literally,,) I always tell them how much I love and miss them. I have been on both sides of this though, years before I took heroin I found out my aunt and cousin were on it, and it hurt like hell to see my cousin so thin, living with a dealer, doing things he wanted because she needed that drug, seeing track marks on her arms. Yes, I guess it's easier to not witness all that, but it hurts so badly, especially my two beautiful 💕 daughters who don't want to see their mum like this. My family is huge and they are all good decent people, I guess I'm seen as a good woman but not decent,? Makes me very sad.
    Reply With Quote
     

  11. Collapse Details
     
    #11
    Moderator
    Sober & Healthy Living
    The Dark Side
    aihfl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    El Pueblo Loco
    Posts
    2,778
    My extended family pretty much cut themselves off from me. But it's not a loss - they're mostly ultrareligious Jesusfreaks (and I hate using that word) and think I'm the scum of the earth. The contempt is mutual. The last time I saw them was at my father's funeral and that was over five years ago. My sister and father are dead and the only living person in my immediate family is my batshit crazy mother (lots of unmedicated psychiatric/psychological issues - and that was her field!) so needless to say, for my own peace of mind and sobriety, I limit contact with her. My family is now my friends I've met through meetings and mutual hobbies.
    Last edited by aihfl; 24-11-2018 at 15:59.
    Struggling with addiction? Join us at Sober Living. We can help.
    Reply With Quote
     

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •