Gregorio888
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2018
- Messages
- 55
Hey dude, you're subsequent posts, plus learning you were stoned and drunk writing the OP, makes me seriously consider that I was wrong about schizophrenia, so I'm sorry if that scared you when I wrote that post since I don't even agree with it now, sincere apologies. From what I can tell, you're doing a lot of drugs, and I can tell you from research and personal experience that is NOT going to make depression or some other problem easier, don't let the "weed is 100% safe because it's natural!" crowd confuse you. It has serious effects on the mind, it does have minor withdrawals which many pot heads don't realized what's happening when they stop because they thought it had no addiction. Getting f'ed up every now and then is fine as long as you're safe, but regular use of weed will slow your healing, if not make it WORSE. So your best bet is to go sober, at least for a long time until your symptoms are improved. Also, if your "delusional thoughts" or whatever you want to call it are happening when you're stoned or whatever? The treatment is to stop getting stoned. Anti-psychotics are effective but extremely powerful, dangerous, toxic drugs, and you probably won't feel like yourself ever, if you're taking them for a problem they work on (such as schizophrenia) that you don't even have. Doctors, in general, do not understand the extremely serious side effects caused by anti-psychotics, because they get there knowledge from pill pushing pharmaceutical companies (my dad has made 2 extremely successful pharmaceutical drugs, and that is what he's told me Pharm companies are like. I'd be embarrassed for my dad if his drugs weren't saving a few hundred thousand lives a year. In other words, DONT take anti-psychotics unless your hearing voices that aren't your, think people are implanting their thoughts in your brain, think you are some type of messiah, etc. Don't let the Docs push you them, IF you don't have those types of thoughts. (also don't quit cold turkey, talk to a Doctors and taper carefully if you think getting off them is best)
Anyway, you also mentioned you lost someone you love. In popular culture men are supposed to get over that in a day and then find a new girl, but that's far from the reality of most men. Men are actually just as, if not more emotional creatures than women. So feeling disconnected from the world and feeling like crap after losing someone you loved is NORMAL. Feeling depressed, depersonalization, after a bad breakup, is NORMAL. It sucks. It can last a long time. But you can bounce back from that. (BTW, the Doc who said you'd permanently damaged yourself from 1 month of mushrooms was either ignorant or lying to you, there has never been a study to show that can happen, mushrooms, are easily arguably safer than marijuana.)
Just to tell me own story a bit, after graduating college (the 1st time) I was somewhat depressed, not knowing what to do with my life. Then, in a 4 week period, my aunt died in a car accident, my friend was arrested for murder (held in jail 9 months before they dropped the case, probably because he black or he wouldn't have spent any time in jail, the only 2 unbiased witnesses both said he got surrounded my nazis, they attacked him, and he defended himself pushing one away, who tripped, hit is head and died), another friend decided to bailout of life with a shotgun, and then my Grandpa died at a family party with 20 of us there, and I had the pleasure of doing CPR until the medics arrived. Then my girlfriend suddenly ghosted me, until I found out a month later, she finally talked to me, and told me she had be raped the same day my Grandpa died. Soooooo, that month sucked to say the least. I stayed with my girl a year, talking almost everyday, making appointments for her with rape counselors and stuff, never having sex or bringing up the possibility, and after a year of that? She said she loved me, but I was too connected to the rape, and she had to leave me so that she could move on. I was in love with her, and for the next 7 years, I never even felt physically attracted to another woman, until I met someone amazing and everything switched in my head, suddenly I could see myself having a girlfriend again, a wife, etc. 7 years was an extremely long time (and I was abusing a ton of drugs during that time, or it probably wouldn't have been 7 years,) it hurts but you WILL get past the breakup, you just have to shovel through the shit first. I now have a bunch of friends, a professional degree, and a girl I love.
I wish I knew more about you to give better advice, but all I can say is, STOP THE DRUGS. It doesn't mean you'll never smoke weed again, but at this stage of your life you NEED to stop smoking pot or doing anything else including alcohol. Breakups are hell, and yours seems to have been worse than most, but you need to be sober and process that to get through it, which you will. Depression, depersonalization, are normal reactions after breakups, and you had a bad one. Try to live healthy, exercise, NO DRUGS, including alcohol, get off the anti-psychotics (with your Doctor's help, don't let them bully you into taking them if you're not having psychotic thoughts (many will try,) and if you do have psychotic thoughts when you reduce them, then talk about trying a different one that won't make you feel so bad.) As for the mushrooms, I can all but guarantee the worst thing they could have possibly done is give you PTSD, which is treatable with therapy. Again I wish I could sit chat with you to really figure out what's happening with you, but this is the best I can say for now. I wish you luck. I promise you your life isn't over, you have to fight, and you'll experience "normalcy" and happiness and love again. Good luck man
Anyway, you also mentioned you lost someone you love. In popular culture men are supposed to get over that in a day and then find a new girl, but that's far from the reality of most men. Men are actually just as, if not more emotional creatures than women. So feeling disconnected from the world and feeling like crap after losing someone you loved is NORMAL. Feeling depressed, depersonalization, after a bad breakup, is NORMAL. It sucks. It can last a long time. But you can bounce back from that. (BTW, the Doc who said you'd permanently damaged yourself from 1 month of mushrooms was either ignorant or lying to you, there has never been a study to show that can happen, mushrooms, are easily arguably safer than marijuana.)
Just to tell me own story a bit, after graduating college (the 1st time) I was somewhat depressed, not knowing what to do with my life. Then, in a 4 week period, my aunt died in a car accident, my friend was arrested for murder (held in jail 9 months before they dropped the case, probably because he black or he wouldn't have spent any time in jail, the only 2 unbiased witnesses both said he got surrounded my nazis, they attacked him, and he defended himself pushing one away, who tripped, hit is head and died), another friend decided to bailout of life with a shotgun, and then my Grandpa died at a family party with 20 of us there, and I had the pleasure of doing CPR until the medics arrived. Then my girlfriend suddenly ghosted me, until I found out a month later, she finally talked to me, and told me she had be raped the same day my Grandpa died. Soooooo, that month sucked to say the least. I stayed with my girl a year, talking almost everyday, making appointments for her with rape counselors and stuff, never having sex or bringing up the possibility, and after a year of that? She said she loved me, but I was too connected to the rape, and she had to leave me so that she could move on. I was in love with her, and for the next 7 years, I never even felt physically attracted to another woman, until I met someone amazing and everything switched in my head, suddenly I could see myself having a girlfriend again, a wife, etc. 7 years was an extremely long time (and I was abusing a ton of drugs during that time, or it probably wouldn't have been 7 years,) it hurts but you WILL get past the breakup, you just have to shovel through the shit first. I now have a bunch of friends, a professional degree, and a girl I love.
I wish I knew more about you to give better advice, but all I can say is, STOP THE DRUGS. It doesn't mean you'll never smoke weed again, but at this stage of your life you NEED to stop smoking pot or doing anything else including alcohol. Breakups are hell, and yours seems to have been worse than most, but you need to be sober and process that to get through it, which you will. Depression, depersonalization, are normal reactions after breakups, and you had a bad one. Try to live healthy, exercise, NO DRUGS, including alcohol, get off the anti-psychotics (with your Doctor's help, don't let them bully you into taking them if you're not having psychotic thoughts (many will try,) and if you do have psychotic thoughts when you reduce them, then talk about trying a different one that won't make you feel so bad.) As for the mushrooms, I can all but guarantee the worst thing they could have possibly done is give you PTSD, which is treatable with therapy. Again I wish I could sit chat with you to really figure out what's happening with you, but this is the best I can say for now. I wish you luck. I promise you your life isn't over, you have to fight, and you'll experience "normalcy" and happiness and love again. Good luck man
