Progress vs Regress - What did you do today to improve from yesterday?

[Mafioso]

It can be discouraging if we constantly measure our current situation to where we would ultimately like to be. It is good to have clear and defined goals that are also realistic and attainable. It becomes easy to overlook the daily progress that we may be achieving because it never seems to be enough. So, the point of this thread is to appreciate our baby steps. Also, it is easy to become stagnant and difficult to resume motion. Over time baby steps can turn into serious motion.

This thread is dedicated to tracking and encouring our daily progress and regression as well.

What did you do today to you improved from yesterday? Or what did you do to maintain your prgores?

If yuo didn't, what can you do tomorrow to make it a better day? What baby step can you take tomorrow?



I'll start. Today I spent a half hour doing stretchs and an hour doing light work out. I also spent a lot of time working on music, which felt really productive. Spent some time studying as well.

I need to stay vigilant on my homework. Also, I need to get diet back on track as well. Low carb is hard cuz I love em all.

 

[Xorkoth]

Great idea for a thread.

Well, two days ago I had a pivotal moment where I realized I can't control myself when I drink, and I am poisoning myself slowly and need to stop it... and that I am using GABAergics as I once used opiates, and I need to stop them. Only problem is I managed to get myself somewhat physically addicted to GHB in the past month. My plan is to get myself back to being able to take phenibut every 3 days with only minor discomfort between doses, and then step off that, I have done it before and it's not very hard. And then stay off GABAergics. Yesterday I drank some because I was getting a little shaky (today is a phenibut day), and ended up doing some GHB because I felt out of sorts and we were trying out a new drummer for my band. So it was a bit of a regress, but the audition went super well so I don't really regret it... now today I am pushing dosing phenibut as long as possible.

Progress I made is in making this decision for myself, and also in telling my friends and girlfriend to help me stay accountable.

 

[reflection1988]

I made a decision today to put God first. I made a decision to try my best to get off of prescribed benzos and Adderall.

 

[Mafioso]

Great idea for a thread.

Well, two days ago I had a pivotal moment where I realized I can't control myself when I drink, and I am poisoning myself slowly and need to stop it... and that I am using GABAergics as I once used opiates, and I need to stop them. Only problem is I managed to get myself somewhat physically addicted to GHB in the past month. My plan is to get myself back to being able to take phenibut every 3 days with only minor discomfort between doses, and then step off that, I have done it before and it's not very hard. And then stay off GABAergics. Yesterday I drank some because I was getting a little shaky (today is a phenibut day), and ended up doing some GHB because I felt out of sorts and we were trying out a new drummer for my band. So it was a bit of a regress, but the audition went super well so I don't really regret it... now today I am pushing dosing phenibut as long as possible.

Progress I made is in making this decision for myself, and also in telling my friends and girlfriend to help me stay accountable.

That's a tough realization to come to! Was there anything in particular that helped you come to this decision?

Today I dug about a 40' trench for a new electrical line from the main panel to the garage on my grandma's house. The plan is to rewire the place. I also did some light kettle bell exercises earlier today and then just got back from a light evening jog. I'm trying a new approach to exercise and getting in shape. Instead of pushing myself as hard as I can and punishing myself then being burned out for the rest of the week, going moderate intensity and higher volume. Seems to be working for me.

Fell behind in school work though. I was trying to stay ahead and not procrastinate. I guess that will be one of my goals for next week.


Try to stay positive everyone. Do something positive or good for yourself every day. Even if it is something little, like eating a meal, taking a shower, brushing your teeth, washing your bedding ,reading a book starting a journal or reaching out for help.

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah actually I had been thinking about it half-heartedly for a while... a couple of days before I had drank and then "browned out" (semi-blacked out) and didn't remember all of my interactions with my girlfriend or my Uber ride home. And then the day I had the realization, my addict-brain just really wanted something (I also quit nicotine so the cravings were rather intense for some sort of alteration) so I took a dose of 2C-C, which is a very lovingly introspective psychedelic, and ended up having a pretty meaningful experience.

 

[Mafioso]

Yeah I've had similar realizations in the past. They're a deceptive drug... everything seems so perfect while on them.

Got all my homework done on time and aced the test this week. Also exercised every day this week for 30 minutes at least even though I at like shit. Practiced music for 1hr minimum/day as well. Feeling accomplished. Still a lot to improve upon but I'm getting there.

 

[Xorkoth]

Well I woke up yesterday and had some shakes... didn't help that I had caffeine which made me more anxious. I ended up taking some GHB at like 2pm which was way earlier than I was going to and dosed throughout the day. Now this morning I already feel kinda shitty but it's a phenibut day, gonna hold off on it as long as I can. I think, unfortunately, I'm gonna have to do the phenibut every other day thing and then wean down from that to every 3 days after I get past the GHB stuff. It'll be a bit of a long road but at least it's an option. Phenibut withdrawal from non-daily use isn't too bad, just unpleasant but no shakes/etc. GHB withdrawal is a whole other thing... and other GABAergics like alcohol and benzos don't even really mask it. I feel fortunate for phenibut.

So I guess it's a regress for me today... but it's okay, this too shall pass.

 

[Mafioso]

Man shadow, that's a slippery slope you a walking on there... just please be careful. You know the dangers. Don't put yourself through months of agony trying to avoid a few weeks of pain. The temptation and struggle is all too real and familiar.

Regress for me today as well. My buddy came by and gave me some xans and a bunch of dabs. Dealing with some family drama so seemed like the perfect option... I'm feeling pretty good right now still but I know the pain is coming. I'm super sensitive to benzo wd's now, get really depressed and prone to seizures, so not a smart decision at all.

I'm not going to let it be a completely shit day though. No need to beat myself up. Got a trench dug for a new electrical line for the detatched garage. I've been putting off joining NA for a long time now, and was doing alright on my own and with the help of BL and some close friends and family. I get the importance of having a group of friends with the same goal of recovery in mind... it's just so easy to fall back into old habits and it feels so good at first. I apologize now if my mood is low in the coming weeks. So that is another goal this week so I don't keep going downhill.

 

[Mafioso]

Went on a 4 mile brisk walk. Nothing too crazy but I injured my ankle and back so it was a little challenging for me. Felt great though, wasn't too tiring and really worked as a mood lift. Going to try to start all my days with at least 15 minutes of exercise if not more.

Working on homework today. Going to spend time with family in a few hours as well, which is a big change for me as I have avoided nearly every family event for about 10 years up until this past year. I hate family events mostly.. I'm antisocial when it comes to anyone who isn't "my crowd" and I am working on changing that. It will be ok though, just going to stop for an hour or two and then make an excuse and get out of there.

 

[Mafioso]

Today I woke up early and spent half the day getting my court shit taken care of, hopefully for the last time. Then just community service and on with my life.

Spent a few hours listening to Dr. Drew and Bob Forrest's podcast while working out then doing some light chores around the yard.

Admittedly though, I wasted a lot of time playing video games when I should be studying, preparing for my internship/job and working on music. Planning for an early day tomorrow, hopefully get homework and side job finished so I can take a camping trip this weekend.