Let me first start by thanking those who take the time assisting me in getting over myself and loosing any shyness I have gained over the years. To keep this as brief as possible, i'll continue from my marriage. I was married to a woman who wanted things her way. I was still young enough that I wanted to experience things. We became pregnant and I wanted that baby oh so much, but it failed to help our marriage at all. She just was not interested and left me three days before the baby was born. The bitch even signed her maiden name on the birth certificate. She never took my last name to begin with. I should have known that something was a miss. Fun fact. She remarried. Her new husband has not sired any children with her. Also, since I am in the picture, new husband cannot adopt my child. I am happy about that.I never had a chance to get this off of my chest. It just decayed there. Since the time I was married, ready (1999-2001) yep, I have had a low self image that turned into a clusterfuck of negative images of myself stemming from events during that marriage. I have not been able to shake this feeling that anyone could take one look at me and see damaged goods. I guess I believed what I thought to the point, that it came true. I forgot the order in which these points were raised, but I look in the mirror and in my heart and know I am not as bad or ugly as I thought I was. Subjective, but I'm willing to just go for it here. I have an esteem issue. I have dated women that I wouldn't bring home to mama. That doesn't count. I am respectable and I expect an amount of respectability out of whomever I date. That being said, I have not had a real girlfriend in a while. I mean girl that is my friend that likes me for me and wants to hang with me and do dating things with me. If I cannot be friends with a lady, forget it. I am happy to say that I am not interested in a quick lay. Don't get me wrong, hot is hot and that is great, but I see the person inside. I want both. I'm ready to date her. If we are great friends, I'll make out, but I want a friend, period. A lady should want that. Once I know that I have been accepted by someone, the shyness doesn't exist. I may proceed with caution, but, I am over myself. I apologize for the wall of text. Its the laptop. I hope this explains where I am coming from. Feel free to keep posting your replies.