• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Miserable coming off Subs

Pucman

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
109
Really wish I had jumped off when I spaced meds on Vacation this summer. Backstory: Heroin addict for 5 years finally quit in January. I relapsed and OD?d for hopefully the last time back at The end of May. After 6 months clean time and a couple of scary slips decided to get on low dose of subs. Now I have tapered down to .75 and I?m unbelievably miserable. I have this weird smell/odor that is sickening that comes and goes(rare). Stomach issues, lack of motivation and guilt have consumed my thoughts. I have to get off the subs as I only feel damage from them now. Personally I am scared to do the things I used to do in fear of relapse, I am starting back therapy as it was helpful at first but generally I cannot find peace. Oh yes I did taper off benzo after 13 years this summer and have been off those too for over a month, which could be part of the problem. I thought that getting Sober was the hard part, but really staying Sober is a bitch. I?m in no way going to ruin all I have struggled for but I?m at my wits end. I do laugh often and hard but when I?m down it?s very sad. I do try and focus on the present but at night after the kiddo goes down, it can be very defeating and I have all but chased away the woman who stood by me this year. So annoyed with myself. Praying for peace.
 
I used subs briefly and hated it. 200 mg+/day oxy was my DOC. I used kratom to come off subs and it worked, thought I became a kratom addict. Stuff really works and is a much better maintenance substance than suboxone. Have you tried it?

I also jumped from .5 subs on to kratom.
 
I hate subs, personally. Like HATE them. They worked well at first for me, after a very rough transition from heroin onto them, but I couldn't stick with only them and switching back and forth made them even rougher to transition onto. After you get Precipitated Wihdrawal a few times, just the taste of subs will start to make you feel like shit...

That's why I switched to methadone, which I am doing really well on. It was either that, or I would've gone back on dope and probably killed myself. Being on methadone isn't ideal, but its working well for me, so i've decided to throw all that stigma around it to the wind and try it, and I'm glad that I did.
 
Oh god Subs, its a Godsend and a nightmare at the same time. If you have the willpower you are better off tapering and detoxing on your own. The endless aching, poor sleep, sneezing. This went on for months and months after stopping. Of course after 10 years of sub treatment and two years off subs I started heroin again. Oh well. I got all the way down to 1/8mg daily and still had endless PAWS. I recommend a quick taper from this drug, unless you just can't stay away from opiates and it puts your life in danger. Some people need to live on the drug. But the constant doctor visits and trips to pharmacy gets old.
 
Probably should?ve waited until you stabilized from your benzo habit before you tapered down the subs. Last year I did the same thing and jumped off of 4mgs of sub while also coming off of a ton of ativan and it quite literally almost killed me. Was up for at least 9 days straight and had at least 2 5 minute seizures. You may be over the worst of your benzo w/d but if you were on for 13 years you probably aren?t anywhere near 100% over it. Not saying you should go back up on the subs but unfortunately I put myself in the same situation this summer (except it?s Kratom/benzos this time) and it is going infinitely better this time because I slooowly tapered off the benzos and am giving myself a good 90 days before I do away with the Kratom. Congrats on getting off the benzos though, that is a huge accomplishment after the amount of time you?ve been on them.
 
Most of your symptoms sound like benzo withdrawal to me. But your on a really low dose of sub so getting off won't take that long. Cut down to .5mg a day wait 2weeks then cut down to .25mg a day wait to weeks then go to .25mg every other day then stop 2 weeks after that.

You'll have some withdrawal but it'll be manageable
 
Yesterday was a horrible day. I am doing better today but still not feeling 100%. I have to say that I didn’t expect the drop to be hard on me and maybe it is the benzo but I have been tapering off that for months before the full jump and wasn’t that hard. Thanks everyone for the replies, I really appreciate the input. I may have skipped a day before I don’t remember it hasn’t been very unimportant until I started melting yesterday. It was definitely scary having the anxiety consume me and Made me doubt whether or not I could function without. I just tried some meditation to relax, but really only got comfortable after dinner. CJ that’s my plan and have been coming down .25 every week. I really hope that it’s not like this every drop from here but maybe I just miissed a day.
 
Yesterday was a horrible day. I am doing better today but still not feeling 100%. I have to say that I didn?t expect the drop to be hard on me and maybe it is the benzo but I have been tapering off that for months before the full jump and wasn?t that hard. Thanks everyone for the replies, I really appreciate the input. I may have skipped a day before I don?t remember it hasn?t been very unimportant until I started melting yesterday. It was definitely scary having the anxiety consume me and Made me doubt whether or not I could function without. I just tried some meditation to relax, but really only got comfortable after dinner. CJ that?s my plan and have been coming down .25 every week. I really hope that it?s not like this every drop from here but maybe I just miissed a day.

The good news is once you clear the benzo WD the sub WD will be easy. I?ve been a junkie since the nineties and subs saved my life. Maybe due to mental torment of WD from other drugs, but subs have been a fairly easy and more of a head deal. The sneezing hasn?t stopped, but I can work and function fine now. Just hang I there and try and stay out of your head for the time being,
 
Well it’s been very hard but Im still clean however my mind is a clever sob. Stil not sure why it hit when it did, thought I was doing good had suffered enough imagine, I guess the taper and benzo wd just fueled the fire. It’s not from sub drop alone. Going to see my therapist tomorrow, although I really lack trust but I will be honest about everything im feeling. I had been on benzos for PTSD and started really abusing about a year ago. All the time I was trying to get off H, I knew that would have to go first for any chance of success. Anyways here I am struggling with this well into longest sober time forever. Hope all of you doing well.
 
Hey all, found some really good information on coming off suboxone from an informed, ex addict Doctor. I’m at .25 for this last week, I guess I’m feeling better, I did the taper myself, my Doc was trying to keep me on. I know it’s not over and I really just want to be done. Cravings are back, even ideas of using have popped in my head but I’m not doing this again. Subs are horrible, they are ideal for a quick taper but long term use is pretty much the same as being addicted. I have only been on the subs for four months this time but man they have a grip on me, and I’m sure the next month will be awful. I really hope spreading this info may help someone else.
here is link
http://www.pbod.org/detoxing-suboxone-fear-caused-lack-knowledge/
 
hey been there

Really wish I had jumped off when I spaced meds on Vacation this summer. Backstory: Heroin addict for 5 years finally quit in January. I relapsed and OD?d for hopefully the last time back at The end of May. After 6 months clean time and a couple of scary slips decided to get on low dose of subs. Now I have tapered down to .75 and I?m unbelievably miserable. I have this weird smell/odor that is sickening that comes and goes(rare). Stomach issues, lack of motivation and guilt have consumed my thoughts. I have to get off the subs as I only feel damage from them now. Personally I am scared to do the things I used to do in fear of relapse, I am starting back therapy as it was helpful at first but generally I cannot find peace. Oh yes I did taper off benzo after 13 years this summer and have been off those too for over a month, which could be part of the problem. I thought that getting Sober was the hard part, but really staying Sober is a bitch. I?m in no way going to ruin all I have struggled for but I?m at my wits end. I do laugh often and hard but when I?m down it?s very sad. I do try and focus on the present but at night after the kiddo goes down, it can be very defeating and I have all but chased away the woman who stood by me this year. So annoyed with myself. Praying for peace.
You got one prayer. Best of luck, I recently got off subs, but it was ok cuz i would take em when my back hurt, but my bro just got off zoloft....(worst 30 days of his life) but cbd saved him he said. He feels perfect now he says. But I hope the best for you and the power of prayer really helps. :)
 
Hey Puc-

Sorry you're going through this. I know it's a bitch to deal with. As if the physical symptoms aren't enough torture, the mental and emotional symptoms are crushing to deal with.

It's so difficult to remember and believe they're also a part of withdrawal. You will even out eventually.

To be honest, I can feel dope whether I'm on methadone or subs. I personally didn't find methadone helpful for cravings or anything else for that matter.

Yes, I felt it for about 2hrs after I dosed. But it wore off everyday by 4pm. I was sick every single day and night for a few years. Until, by sheer circumstances, it was discovered that I was an aborhent (sp?) metabolizer. I had to split dose. But even split dosing, I still had cravings. We're all different, and different things work each of us.

I take subs now. I'm currently stable on them. Mentally I'm in a better place due to being put on medication that helps address my very severe anxiety and panic attacks. That's the only difference for me between subs and methadone though.

And on methadone I gained weight, that I lost as soon as I stopped taking it. Subs don't cause sweet cravings for me. Thank God lol.

This journey is difficult. I've come to the conclusion, for myself, I have to put effort into recovery. More than just taking methadone or subs everyday.

What you're doing is huge. It's not easy to get off of everything. Especially all at once. And to not give in and use when you're going through mental and physical torture. Is it possible that you got off of benzos too quickly? I don't have alot of experience w benzos. Other than abusing them for a few years. I binge took them every month. So I was only on them for 3-5 days each month. But I'd take 90 1mg Xanax in 3 days most months. I had the Dr stop writing that amount.

Is there a way to talk to your Dr about what you're going through? Are you on any psych meds to help w the anxiety? Like Neurontin or Lyrica? They could possibly help you. Just a thought. Hope you're well Puc <3
 
Thanks 10yrs and Bill and everybody here inSL. I have been to rehab for pills before(long affair), I definitely came off the benzo too fast, but I knew it would be hell no matter what. I’m at day four with out Subs....And I feel like hell, oh the sneezing would be fine with the weather change but the aching joints is incredibly uncomfortable and mental torture is harsh. I really can’t be this fricked up I hope. Very agitated 24/7. I feel like a hermit but I am making myself get to the gym daily. My down time is my enemy so I have volunteered my time to my kids school festival. I really thought I had tapered fairly it’s just the subs way of not letting you free, everyone is proud of me except me. I realized I was just as addicted to the subs keeping me stable but my thoughts race. I had to hit a meeting last night because I was having crazy visions of using. I will keep this thread going as things get better but for four days I’m hating it. This darkness has got to give.
 
Man I really feel for you. I kicked sub once a few years ago and it was straight inhumane. I didn't sleep more then 10 minutes for 2 weeks. I went a little crazy by the end. Well alot crazy actually. The only time I felt any release during those weeks was when the rehab took us for a trip to the go cart track. Having some fun I guess released some dopamine and made me well for like an hour or so afterward. But in balance that was a terrible 3 weeks. I jumped off at like 2mg a day. If I had to do it over I would have tapered to way under a miligram. I also would do it so ewhere I controlled the comfort meds
 
Woke up at 5am in a pool of sweat. It’s cold and this has been every night for the last four days. I guess some people don’t have it as bad but lucky me. Had a serious panic attack yesterday, my heartrate was 110 usually low 60s. Every day seems the same anxiety, sore joints, total brain fog, lack of motivation an huge cravings at day six off the subs. Struggling but pushing through.
 
Hey Puc-

Hang in there. You're really going through it right now. Things have to give at some point.

No way to get some Neurontin or Lyrica for some relief? Hope it gets better asap!
 
Benzo's help a ton when stopping Suboxone, it does for me anyway. I take 12/3 for chronic pain, it just works better than pain killers. There are no easy fixes for any opiate detox. Immodiioum AD in large quanaties works some. Kratom almost killed my sister, its not FDA and it literally could have anything on it. I've taken it and had good success, but one batch put her in ICU for 2 weeks. I found that tappering down (cutting film in half) and reseal it. Drink lots of water and vits and the hottest showers I can stand. I then take an Adderall and 2mg Xanax and keep my mind occupied. I havent been on this forum long but have and was on extremey high levels of opitate over the years. Paladone, Percocet, Darvocet, Dimerol, Actiq , Fentenayl, Kratom, I even tried a methadone clinic and for me perosonally that was te worst of the bunch. You do not get sick for around a week, and when you do, you swear you are dying.. I tried Suboxone and worked my way up to 12/3 and it by far the one I have had the most success with. With all the stem cells, and hardwear in my spine, neck and lip, this stuff is a picnic by comparison. The sickness isn't nearly as long
 
10years, I don’t do well on gabapentin, and I’m over anything that is a quick fix. I awoke today not in a pool of sweat but to a sign that I may be on the up and up today. I feel like I have been in constant withdrawals since I tapered down to below 2 mg. I personally should of just ripped that bandaid off but hindsights 20/20. With each drop I was miserable, it’s an addiction all the same. The withdrawal is for real and it almost caused me to relapse a few times. I really do get how powerless I am in my daily grind. Will not, can not do this again. Tomorrow I will hit up my third Refuge Recovery meeting, it’s a great group and many like minded folks that I can see myself befriending. NA is great and I appreciate all they do for people just not as focused as RR. I haven’t done any inventories or anything yet, but I will get there early and see if I can help and make some sober friends. Thats the hard part right? I have distanced myself as my old party friends are still eating molly and blowing lines. The drinking I could handle, the drugs not so much. Today I feel Sober and I am grateful to have gone thru all of this, good, bad and the worst. I will never take Suboxone again, I am much bette at CT than the long drawn out bs. It all ends the same way. You gotta pay at some point. I may just be having a good day after a couple months worth of crappy ones but we will see. Keep doing your thing we are all capable of something far greater.
 
Puc, you gotta do what works best for you.

It sounds like you're powering through this. Really! I know your're going through tough things, but you continue to keep your eye on the prize.

You know what s the most important thing to have for success in a survival situation? The will to live. I think it's also the most important thing to have in recovery...the will to recover.

Hope this is a great day for you Puc.
 
Top