10yrs I have been surviving hour by hour, My cravings are thru the roof. I know I could die if I give in. Last time I ended up in hospital and don’t remember jack. I thought things would of subside but still waking up in sweat puddles. I’m sweating and it’s 60* in our house, definitely wds. Mental fog, sneezing, aching back and joints, I guess some depression Bc I have never felt like this before. Just meandering thru life waiting for this to stop. I missed my RR meeting just wanted to relax but that did not work, hit an NA yesterday and today. I have thought about going into detox to stop my horrible cravings, however I really don’t have shit in my system. My therapist gets back Monday so if I keep myself busy which my kids Fall Festival is this weekend and I have been spending a good amount of time volunteering. I really have been struggling with the benzo thing, I have to feel normal at some point to figure out if I need meds or not, therapist recommend an anti-depressant(no diagnosis)but I told her I just wanted to feel me again. Suboxone is probably the worst drug to feel anything at all. What a freaking zombie I became at a low dose.