Thread: Please help me-Panick attacks and anxiety with every drug I do

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    Please help me-Panick attacks and anxiety with every drug I do 
    I want to start by saying ive had this anxiety disorder prior to using drugs so drugs are NOT to blame, I have always had hypocondria and anxiety,a I used to love doing LSD, MDMA, weed edibles in extremely high dosages, DMT, etc... until I had a bad trip on MDMA where I got really high blood pressure and heart rate because of not being careful with the dosage, after that I developed a bad anxiety disorder where I would be obssesed with my health, taking my blood pressure daily, checking my heart rate, getting echocardiograms and lab tests all the time, and everything came back fine and doctors told me I was healthy and it was just anxiety, I avoided drugs for a good several months after that and finally the anxiety went away, I am able to live my everyday life with virtually no anxiety, the problem is that after I had that clean period without drugs,

    every drug I do now causes me anxiety, 90% of my trips ill have uncontrollable anxiety for which I need to take benzos, ill try to give some examples, my first trip after the bad MDMA trip was LSD, it had been some months of not taking any drug, basically I felt like I was having a heart attack, I was completely delusional and scared, and I ended up calling and ambulance and obviously I wasnt having a heart attack, next I did LSD again a month after and I thought I was about to get a seizure and took benzos, and this has been recurrent ever since, with any substance I feel im about to have a seizure,

    for example yesterday I did Oxycodone and thought I was having a seizure which is ridiculous, and I know 100% its all in my head but when im doing drugs I cant think rationally and just panic, I also one time did alcohol and thought I had an arrythmia, so basically any drug I do now trigger anxiety and panic most of the time, I only use drugs every 3 weeks at most, for example one week i will use LSD, then 3 weeks later I try oxycodone, then maybe I will be clean for 1 month and then take some alcohol etc so im not abusing drugs. I must say this doesnt happen all the time, there will be occasions where I will be able to trip on MDMA (I always do 3 months at least between uses) or LSD and despite being anxious I can overcome it and enjoy the drug somewhat and not need any benzos, but this are rare ocassions.

    I have tried quitting for a couple of months where I will focus more on living healthy and doing more exercise, which I already do and have an extremely healthy lifestyle, but this doesnt seem to help much, I just want too be able to enjoy drugs like I used to without the anxiety, what I have noticed is that I have "periods" of worrying about specific things, for example for a couple of months after the bad MDMA trip I worried about my heart and anytime I was tripping I would think I was having an arrythmia or a heart attack or whatever,

    that subsided and now all the time with any drug I think im about to have a seizure, etc which of course never happens so I know its just anxiety, I have always been afraid of dying, and I thought that was the cause of this bad trips, but after these experiences I have been thinking a lot about this and I have come to terms with the fact that I will die someday, and that it is a normal part of all life, which makes me realize that maybe it has something to do with me wanting to be "in control" and panicking when I feel I cant control the substance,

    thank you so much for reading this and I hope you guys can help me out... do you think a therapist could help me maybe with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? Should I just abstain from drugs for several years? What would you do in my case? Thank you all again.
    Last edited by AlphaMethylPhenyl; 20-09-2018 at 23:57. Reason: Added in Paragraphs to Make it More Legible
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