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What would you tell a selfish person?

yompf

Bluelighter
Joined
May 14, 2017
Messages
462
I recently realized that I am selfish and ungrateful.
I saw myself complaining and in a bad mood , unhappy .
If I was grateful for all that I had , then I wouldn't complain and wouldn't put bad energy out by being in a bad mood.
Don't be nice to me , or say , being in a bad mood doesn't mean you are selfish. Because maybe it does.
I can assure you my behavior and attitude was and is that of someone selfish and ungrateful.
What would you say to help a person like this ?
 
I was stoned when I wrote this. Well ....
Any monks out there ?? Lol
 
[video]http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/1255816/Young-Frankenstein-Movie-Clip-A-Temporary-Companion.html[/video]

Friend Good... Let us be thankful for friends!
 
I would say that everyone can be selfish sometimes, and the fact that you're expressing remorse about it means you can improve whatever behaviors you're noticing. Truly selfish people don't care to improve. I'd also say we're all our own worst critics. :)
 
To transcend self-preoccupation, you have to place your efforts into a creative work (art, writing, etc.), loving another being, or religion/spirituality. These are all some form of service that participate in something bigger than you that cannot be reconciled by the ego directly, thus the mind-ego is softened or even becomes complicit with the larger force. In other words, when you meet something that is bigger and more meaningful than yourself, you won't be so self-obsessed anymore.

I don't see any other way to get beyond "self". If you try to do so through some kind of contrived process like trying to convince yourself that "self" isn't real, you'll only end up engaging in some kind of ego bypassing, which just feeds ego further. A lot of meditators get sucked into that trap.

You can't get beyond self without participating in the world and using your free will to apply meaning to your daily tasks and challenges.
 
i hate it when that happens, i always feel like the biggest d**k in the world even though it's a natural experience that just happens and we don't fully know why yet. we not only live new experiences in life, we re-live lessons in life because we are creatures of habit. the choice wasn't in the moment to control your actions. the choice was to see it and accept it or turn away and become what you fear.

the next choice is letting it define you or you decide to better yourself from what you've been through. what you have done up to this point in life has kept your behavior from making that particular situation much worse and uglier than what it was. in a few days you'll be over this and what you take away is just as important as what you do about it.

aside from that all i got to "tell" to you is:

respect for reaching out btw, i had to struggle with it on my own and in isolation. you have some good responses here (even the jew post ;)). if you heed them and your inner self well, you wont go wrong.
 
being selfish is human and to some extend healthy. also, are you selfish right now? are you selfish all day long? probably not. cut yourself some slack and if you feel you have mistreated someone go to them and honestly say 'sorry bro, I'm pretty selfish lately, here I'll make up for it.''

but most importantly, enjoy your weed. I need some and am jealous which also isnt a great trait in a human being. have fun.
 
I'm only selfish when I have a big fat burrito and someone says, "Let me take a bite outta that."

"Get your own damn burrito."
 
Thank you for the responses guys.
I've thought alot about this.
The realization has stuck with me.
My friend had just given me a ride an hour away in a truck with no power steering , to help transport MY friends stuff whom he hates for good reason. He had lagged earlier and so we left really late. He had work later and neglected to tell me exactly the time we had to be done . So with us leaving way later then I had planned , he says the only way he could get to work on time is if I came with him. (He was supposed to clean this office, only a couple of hours) this pissed me off because he never said anything till then that this was a possibility and it was his fault we left so late. I was in a really bad mood , (my friend never showed up either) after all of the traffic we sat in forever , I was waiting for him to finish the office and realized I should chill out.
I believe being ungrateful has led to selfish thoughts. Which opened the door to unhappiness . And our thoughts / emotions have energy which effects everyone on the planet because we are all connected. IMO
As cheese like as it sounds. Looking on the bright side of things really is worth it . Seeing the good instead of the bbad.After all, reality is what we make it right ?
Some people actually look for the bad and complain there life sucks .
My friend had done alot for me. I had a nice home to go back to. Things weren't perfect but I was ok. I was being selfish because I was ungrateful. I actually told him NO he had to take me home and be late for work ,that it was HIS fault. and he said OK!! (This was at first,after about 5-10 min I told him I'd go with him)

Lately I have felt like a pilot. When depression looms in front of me , or anger , or any negative mindset , I have been able to pull myself out of it. Like I take a second , I become the pilot , pulling up on the wheel / stick or whatever it is called , and pulling the plane up out of a nose dive.
Ive never bothered to do this before. The past 2 months I've also stopped using drugs and drinking daily . So I have to find new ways of thinking to deal with myself.
 
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