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Julys Getting Sober and staying Clean Thread Vs,Summer time is here!

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Ds

Ds

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Hey folks, Just wanted to start this months getting sober & clean thread off with the right start.

The summer months can be hard for anyone, espically for those that are in recovery because the temptations are everywhere. From that 'Cold Beer' sign in store windows, to the dope man on the corner telling you that his dope is the best around.

Knowing where we come from and what we have to live for today should help those thoughts and urges to go out and to put another one in us.

Sometimes we need help and inspiration from others and this is the general idea of what this thread is, to bring us closer. Where we can openly talk about what's been going on with us.



June
 
Strung out, nearly homeless, definitely penniless, homicidal, and suicidal 2135 days ago. Haven't had a bad day since...
 
It's been rough with many relapses but with going back to the gym and focusing on the positive I might make it out this month. Maybe land a job and start feeling like less of a pile of shit. I'm working on it though :)
 
Hi,

I've been on suboxone replacement therapy since May 15th 2018. And, other then the suboxone and alcohol I've been "clean".
I'm so depressed. Since revealing my addiction I've been on a leave of absence from work. I've sold my house and moved into a small apartment with my sister 6 hours away from where I used to be living.
I feel like I've lost so much since admitting I needed help. There will be a ton of hoops to jump through to get back to work (I was never caught using at work...in fact when I started my leave of absence the occupational health nurse at my work called me and asked if I had any proof of my addiction)
I want so badly to just wrap myself up in a cocoon of opiates and just... I don't even know.
Please tell me it gets better than this. Because this place is so stinking dark right now.
-E
 
Thank you for posting hidden_nurseaddict. After a period of time of jumping through the hoops necessary to return to work you may find that they were never hoops to begin with but rather guideposts leading you to a way of life you never dreamed possible. I mentor 5 nurses who all have had to jump through nursing board hoops to regain licensure. All 5 are doing remarkably well. In fact, I get the general sense from 4 of them that they no longer view the hoops as hoops. The fifth is still trying to hold on to the glass is half empty mentality. All 5 are clean more than a year. One will be completing the 5 year monitoring and reporting in August. I have nearly nothing to do with these 5 guys being clean and 4 of them being generally happy and peaceful in ways they never previously experienced. I just shared my experience and then helped guide them in having their own experience.

Now on the flip side, my father made it 4 years in to a 5 year monitoring program and decided as the finish line approached that drug testing was just too invasive. He will likely never have a nursing license again after 4 decades of establishing himself as a leader in several fields. He now lives in Mexico so he can be closer to his crop...
 
I'm on day 6 no smoking and it's getting easier every day.
I still miss them and it's an adjustment but I'm getting there
 
jdfisse said:
Thank you for posting hidden_nurseaddict. After a period of time of jumping through the hoops necessary to return to work you may find that they were never hoops to begin with but rather guideposts leading you to a way of life you never dreamed possible. I mentor 5 nurses who all have had to jump through nursing board hoops to regain licensure. All 5 are doing remarkably well. In fact, I get the general sense from 4 of them that they no longer view the hoops as hoops. The fifth is still trying to hold on to the glass is half empty mentality. All 5 are clean more than a year. One will be completing the 5 year monitoring and reporting in August. I have nearly nothing to do with these 5 guys being clean and 4 of them being generally happy and peaceful in ways they never previously experienced. I just shared my experience and then helped guide them in having their own experience.

Now on the flip side, my father made it 4 years in to a 5 year monitoring program and decided as the finish line approached that drug testing was just too invasive. He will likely never have a nursing license again after 4 decades of establishing himself as a leader in several fields. He now lives in Mexico so he can be closer to his crop...
Click to expand...

Don't mean to call BS. But honestly...
If you truly knew anything about mentoring nurses in recovery you would know that I have to attend a weekly session with other health care professionals with addictions issues. Not a single one of them have proclaimed the hoops that nurses have to jump through are "guideposts" even after a years of recovery. I have not met a single health care provider in addictions treatment refer to them as anything but hoops.
So lets just stick to the truth, shall we?

And you comments did absolutely nothing to help me feel better, or even less alone in my current situation. If nothing else, it just further alienated me. So maybe take the sunshine and blow it up some other asshole.

Thanks,
 
Anyone who has a opioid habit severe enough to need ORT shouldn't be working in a field that deals with people's health. That is just a simply no.

It doesn't matter whether you are using on your freetime or at work as your abilities aren't the same as when being sober.

In my opinion anyone who is decent enough should understand that and either seek help or quit a job that requires clarity of mind.
 
6 months or so now without drinking.
But Ive been thinking about it a lot lately.

I feel like its because I havent really changed my life style. I still sit around and do nothing most of the time, outside of work. But Im slowly moving again.

Work has been going well and for the first time in years In financially stable. Emotionally? Its getting better too as I slowly get my bearings again.

I haven't tripped in a while and now that its cooled down a bit I think it may be time.
 
Run down from work and this week will show no reprieve as my business partner's off for the next month due to minor surgery.

Ive been running around on weekends and have had very little down time with my daughter.

Between the two Ive been thinking about it a lot. Then yesterday I made the mistake of visiting friends at an arcade, which was fine, but afterwards we went back to a mutual friends and everyone was drinking. I left shortly thereafter...

I recognize this place Im in and something needs to change before Im back to making stupid decisions because "fuck it.. who cares... I just need an escape".
 
Hello! I used to post years ago in the drug culture part of this website but have since changed my life around with a long and slow personal recovery.

Feeling pretty great so far this month. On day 2 of quitting cigarettes at the moment and while I'm feeling withdrawal a bit, this weather has me feeling really grateful I've made it this far with everything else.

It's been three years now since I've last touched Benzos, opiates, amps, and coke and could not be happier that I've kicked those habits. I've pushed off quitting cigarettes for so long and I've been trying hard the past few months but I won't stop trying to quit! The fact I can smell things again is making me smile.
 
Absolutely great kronedog!

I wonder when the time is right for me to stop smoking.

Well it is just six months for me since I've used opiates and nine or so months for benzos and gabaergics.

Still using empathogenics and/or psychedelics once in a while and use of nicotine but I consider being sober on my own terms as those drugs haven't caused me any problems (yet atleast).
 
Having such a bad day.

Don’t want to even relapse.

Don’t want meth or heroin. Or bupe.

I want 20 grams of secobarbital so I can die.

If you’re craving your DOC, hang in there. At least you still want to live.
 
CH... thinking of you during your dark time. I made it through surgery the end of June with some weak vicodin (5mg) for the pain. I actually took it less than as prescribed, trying to make them last, as the doctors are so stingy due to all the hype about the opiate crisis. I have been done with the vics for 5 days now, and so far. no cravings... knock wood.
I still have pain, but I am an opiate addict, right? Pain is worse than death in my book...
Anyway, I am coming up on 18 months off of my habit and life had been going well until I was derailed by this surgery. It threw me into a funk... I do not like facing the fact that I am aging, and my body can have parts that aren't functioning optimally. I will come to acceptance eventually.
 
hidden_nurseaddict said:
Don't mean to call BS. But honestly...
If you truly knew anything about mentoring nurses in recovery you would know that I have to attend a weekly session with other health care professionals with addictions issues. Not a single one of them have proclaimed the hoops that nurses have to jump through are "guideposts" even after a years of recovery. I have not met a single health care provider in addictions treatment refer to them as anything but hoops.
So lets just stick to the truth, shall we?

And you comments did absolutely nothing to help me feel better, or even less alone in my current situation. If nothing else, it just further alienated me. So maybe take the sunshine and blow it up some other asshole.

Thanks,
Click to expand...

An interesting response to a fairly benign post that shared experience and not opinion. Enjoy the glut of opinions. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

And yes I am aware of the weekly sessions that the guys I sponsor attend. Each of the 5 calls them vent/whine sessions, but they are all engaged in 12-step recovery so the support group is a small fraction of their recovery process. Best of luck to you. Please continue to share your experience with us.
 
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20 months without drugs, 4 months without tobacco, 1 month without porn. I feel accomplished, yet I'm still struggling with the feeling that something's missing. Lately, I've been obsessive about women and jealous towards people in relationships, even though it's not something I want right now. I've been sharing about it a lot, even praying for some sort of clarity, but it doesn't seem to move a whole lot. I'm thinking about trying qigong/tai chi in the coming weeks, hoping it will clear up some of this nasty, lingering energy I have about. I dunno. Things are mostly good, but then they ain't and I freak out a bit about how to solve what's going on. Rollercoasters, man.
 
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