I agree. I support you and am still in awe that you went thru PST CT even once. I was routing for you all the way thru this thread, and i still am now. When life gets tough, sometimes you need to do what you need to do. I've had similar situations when everything around me goes to shit or theres a tragedy of some sort, and i've had to be the rock that helps others thru it. And i've always had to augment myself to do that as effectively as possible.
And as much as i am full of respect and awe for you, i'm kinda thinking another CT is a bit masochistic. I understand wanting to give yourself a scar to remind you to stay away, but as we know, it doesn't necessarily work that way. It didn't work last time and that was a looong miserable hellscape you went thru. Maybe you should consider softening it. It's still gonna suck, so you will still have to endure, but it wont hold a candle to what you've been through. And all that noradrenaline and norepinephrine efflux, your heart will be under a lot of stress again, and i recall you talking about your heart condition. If theres a somewhat easier road, and there is, maybe consider taking it. the true test isnt how much you can suffer from opiates, it's how you live your life after them. the ultimate goal is to stay away. I'm guessing your one of those people that feels they need and deserve the pain, in order to stay off. but it's not necessarily true. self flagelation is not the way to make amends for your wrongs, fixing them is. spending time with your family, running your business hands on, just being present in a way that you just cant with a head full of tea. Thats how you even the balance sheet. none of the people who you feel were hurt by your addiction will benefit from your suffering.
You can do a sub taper with gabapentin, phenibut(be careful, very addictive), or lyrica, and a whole host of other things to comfort you if you get a decent doctor. i guess i wouldnt go to your friend, but choose an addiction medicine doctor. its confidential, your family and friends won't find out. And, even tho it's still a long road, you will perhaps be able to function during it and and not scare your family by looking like your gonna die. it could be better on your families behalf if you take the gentler road.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do, merely discuss options and motivations. You are a n incredibly strong person, you've proven that. but just because your strong and your nerve is iron doesn't mean you need to bang yourself into the walls when thre's a door.
Regardless of your choice tho, ill support it and wish you the best. What you've already endured is incredible, your focus and fall-but-get-back-up attitude is the right one, its the one that will no doubt achieve what your shooting for. Good luck