• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Pregnant and smoking meth - PLEASE HELP ME

Have some self-respect and some respect for your unborn child. Have you considered adoption?
 
I just unapproved a reported post that had no HR value. This forum is called Sober Living for a reason. To borrow a phrase from 12 step, we're here to "share our experience, strength and hope" in the name of harm reduction, whatever "harm reduction" means to you as an individual. It's inevitable that conflicting opinions will arise and some discussions will get heated, but please stay constructive. Wishing death upon someone is not constructive.
 
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Listen to your parents. They are doing what is best for you and your child. You're not a loser, you're an addict. So am I, although I chose a different poison. Nobody is perfect. I think your baby will be ok, as long as you stop NOW. Hope you aren't too close to due date.
 
I am really disappointed in many of the replies to this thread. Does anyone really not understand how incredibly difficult being in this position is? Is this really what sober living has become about in my absence?

If you can?t communicate some level of compassion please reconsider posting in this thread. By this point it?s pretty clear continuing using is a horrible idea, as it is almost guaranteed will result in harm to the child and/or forced removal.

We know that much. Given that is pretty clear now, how would you suggest the OP address her situation, the cravings to use, the romantic thinking of it all somehow working out fine, and how she could get help and support to make the most of an incredibly difficult situation?

To the OP: you obviously have to take better care of yourself, but please try to avoid too much self hatred. You are not the only reason you?ve gotten into this situation, in fact you are at most only partly responsible. Others, many many others are at least as responsible for this as you are.

You are responsible for dealing with this, but you aren?t responsible for dealing with it on your own; others are just as responsible: responsible for showing you the love and support necessary for anyone to overcome something of this nature.

Self hatred and confrontation are only useful in a very, very limited if important way here. Learning to love yourself despite all this isn?t just what you need, it?s even more important for your unborn child. It is the more significant challenge and opportunity.

Getting in this situation isn?t about one poor choice, it?s about the causes and conditions of ones life leading to this place. Turning thinking around is obviously up to the OP, but it?s important to realize that it isn?t merely their fault.

Hopefully through relying on others and a bit more sensory clarity will help change that. I?m glad to hear your parents are getting more involved with this. Hopefully they can find help beyond just the family as well. As they say, it takes a village...

<<<<<edit>>>>>

And just to clarify, outrage and anger is fine, just as it doesn?t turn into shaming.













(Thx herby :))
 
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I read through a lot of articles regarding motherhood and drug use, and I feel terrible that I didnt turn away the old meth pipe and continued to use. While I appriciate the posts in this thread that were strongly worded, I now wonder if the other mean ones were more correct. MAybe I shouldnt be a mother if meth is too much of a temptation. and lets be honest the only reason I am not smoking right now is because my parents had to take my passport and finances away, not because I wanted to stop smoking it for the baby. I didnt even get pregnant by accident it was IVF baby, so longed for and yet the first slip up and I screw up. I'm a fucking disgraceful person.
 
My parents are helping by calling around rehabs that may take pregnant women. sO far not sucessful. I am 4 months along, and they feel they are unable to take me. I think my parents just watching me should be fine, and with some input from medics. Its just a hard time in my life right now. I feel terrible, as I hae all the help and support I need and yet cant seem to want this enough for myself or the baby.
 
Here in the states they have rehab/treatment centers just for mothers that are expecting. I know of a few here in the City I live in, Do you live in the City? The programs I am aware of aren't in the greatest parts of town, so maybe look a little deeper.

I'm sure that they have those type of programs in the UK?
 
Its just a hard time in my life right now. I feel terrible, as I have all the help and support I need and yet cant seem to want this enough for myself or the baby.

Your mind is fighting with itself and that is understandable. You turned to a drug for real reasons no doubt (even if those reasons were nothing more than recreation and exploration but more than likely they addressed some emptiness you felt). Reassure yourself that this is a struggle. A mental struggle as well as a physical one. There are bound to be voices in your head that are trying to undermine any attempt to give up the familiar, especially one that activates those reward centers! Be easy on yourself but also be vigilant. <3 How is the pregnancy itself going? How do you feel? Next month you may feel that baby start to kick and that tends to bring the abstract into the real.<3
 
I read through a lot of articles regarding motherhood and drug use, and I feel terrible that I didnt turn away the old meth pipe and continued to use. While I appriciate the posts in this thread that were strongly worded, I now wonder if the other mean ones were more correct. MAybe I shouldnt be a mother if meth is too much of a temptation. and lets be honest the only reason I am not smoking right now is because my parents had to take my passport and finances away, not because I wanted to stop smoking it for the baby. I didnt even get pregnant by accident it was IVF baby, so longed for and yet the first slip up and I screw up. I'm a fucking disgraceful person.

Don't worry about whether you're fit to be a mother.

You're not a disgraceful person. You're suffering from addiction. It's hard, if not impossible, to control your behavior when addicted. Don't beat yourself up. Take it one day at a time. <3

My parents are helping by calling around rehabs that may take pregnant women. sO far not sucessful. I am 4 months along, and they feel they are unable to take me. I think my parents just watching me should be fine, and with some input from medics. Its just a hard time in my life right now. I feel terrible, as I hae all the help and support I need and yet cant seem to want this enough for myself or the baby.

Are you depressed? What do you think is leading to your cravings?

Stay strong, don't give up. It's OK to get frustrated and to feel awful. I hope you feel better soon.
 
Hi. Look mate, its not uncommon to do that and a hook up of mine used throughout but cut way back. She is a full blown addict, didnt know she was pregnant for a few months and simply didnt have the support to stop (partner also addict, she's got 6 kids and was horribly abused as a kid never got over it)


Yeah it sucks. It really does. And its hard to mentally shut off who you have been immediately.

It doesnt mean you dont love your baby.

You need to look after yourself nutrition wise and taper down. Tapers usually dont work but in pregnancy taper it down mate.

This is a forced quit.

Dont worry about anyone elses opinions. Youll get unwanted mum advice anyway.

Just taper down and replace this with some yoga or activity to keep mind off it.
 
unwanted mum advice

Definitely this. I'm not going to give anyone mother advice. Just take care of yourself, and things will work out if you work on it. <3

It's important to love yourself. I'm working on this one too.
 
All you have to do is taper down mate. Dont let the drug take over your brain. It needs you not the other way around. Honestly try to keep busy even just reading a book. You dont need rehab mate but if you feel you do then do. Its better at home nesting just dont let your folks get in your face too much.

Keep your electrolytes up. Your food. Get out and do fun things you cant do later.


The baby will be fine if the gear is flushed gently out of your system and its a new start.
 
Thanks guys for the support, Im currently smoking the last of the bowl and residue. I feel awful but itfeels good. I am pretending I am not pregnant. I know I know.
Why do I use? Because I don't have friends, and everywhere I go people don't like me. Seriously; its like I try to chat, smile and try to make friends but nothing comes of it. The people I spend time with include my parents, ex, and my one friend who sometimes brings other aquintances. I cant be ins ocial places. When I foound drugs I knew I never had to be alone anymore, I would have the crutch to be more social.
 
Please don't book that flight. It could change your life for the worse for many years - long after you've kicked this habit for good. Your child could suffer so much in it's lifetime with disabilities and/or mental deficits. Give your baby the chance it deserves for a good life.

And please forgive the hurt you feel and pick up the phone then make up with your best friend - no matter whose fault it is. Tell your friend that you are sorry things got so messed up, and tell your friend that you want them in your life. An apology, even if not deserved, can work miracles. And I am here every day along with many others if you want to share or just talk.

Close your eyes and ask yourself "Please Help Me" every time you think about using again. Raising a child can give you a high no drug can touch.

I wish you and your baby the best. Please stay in touch.
 
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Thanks guys for the support, Im currently smoking the last of the bowl and residue. I feel awful but itfeels good. I am pretending I am not pregnant. I know I know.
Why do I use? Because I don't have friends, and everywhere I go people don't like me. Seriously; its like I try to chat, smile and try to make friends but nothing comes of it. The people I spend time with include my parents, ex, and my one friend who sometimes brings other aquintances. I cant be ins ocial places. When I foound drugs I knew I never had to be alone anymore, I would have the crutch to be more social.

If there is any way that you can get into therapy for your self-esteem issues, now is the time. Social anxiety and the inability to make friends is usually because there is an invisible shield of self-defined worthlessness that you are projecting out in front of you. It's a defense learned early on in childhood so by the time you are grown you are wholly unconscious of it. Healing those self-defeating thoughts is going to make you a stronger person and a better parent. If you cannot afford therapy go to a bookstore and peruse titles that are in the Self-help section that deal with self-esteem and social anxiety. You do not deserve to suffer this any longer--it's completely treatable!<3
 
Update: my son is doing well, despite my issues. I am now just taking pregabalin, and small doses of codeine nothing else, as I ditched thhe methadone. ( I dont breastfeed) I ended up getting a lot of support from midwives, consultnts, and my parents. I will be starting a day program soon to come off the codeine but currently my usage of it isn't so bad.
My son was born healthy but with mild neonatal withdrawal syndrome due to the codeine, but after a good few days in NICU, he was just fine. I hate myself for putting him through it, that I wasn't strong enough to quite the codine as well. But I managed to stay off the meth and currently not planning any trips to AZ!
I never did manage to make friends, this is something I will work on later as right now my hhands are full.
thanks to everyone who advised me.
 
Tucson, AZ if you *really* want it. They have compassionate care there as well when you're ready. Phoenix is a hell on earth. Tucson is much friendlier for a drug addict.
 
Tucson, AZ if you *really* want it. They have compassionate care there as well when you're ready. Phoenix is a hell on earth. Tucson is much friendlier for a drug addict.

It is kinda hard to find Meth in the UK, especially if you are not one of those people with a huge network.
As far as it is my experience living in UK, you call a guy on a phone and someone else shows up at your home with whatever.
Dealers on the streets mostly cater to tourists and will have only low quality blue/red string thai weed or shit super cut Levamisole coke, all for sky high prices.
You can't go for a walk and buy meth from a stranger in public spot, while I hear it's more like that in the southern US.
Stay in the UK, in AZ you are just one step away from a mistake that will probably be very hard to live with.
If you manage a few years of sobriety it will be safer for you to go to the US.
Please get rid of any paraphernalia if you haven't. Replace your flame lighter with those electric spark ones.
 
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