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Pregnant and smoking meth - PLEASE HELP ME

EP158207

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 12, 2013
Messages
585
So I got clean; left the meth behind.
Using methadone for codeine addiction under medical guidance.
And using pregabalin under obstertician guidance.

However, I fell out with my only friend and have been finding it difficult to make more friends. I feel bad, terrible. Found some meth in a pipe when clearing out the spare room for the baby. Started smoking it.

So want to buy more, but I know the dangers. I live in the uk and about to book me a ticker to phoneix AZ to keep using meth. Help me someone.
 
Here is what will happen if they find meth in your system while pregnant:
When you finally have your sweet little adorable infant baby you will barely be allowed to look at him/her. Nursing will be completely out of the question. The nurses and doctors will treat you like you are the worst person on the planet. Instead of gently giving you a shot be prepared for jabbing and stabbing of the needle. Yes, they are trying to inflict pain. To them you are now no better then a child murderer. They are no longer there to help you and nurture you. They will go out of their way to make sure your stay at their hospital is as short and painful as possible.
While you are withdrawing from not using and feeling complete alone cause your family has left you by your self a cps case working will come in and explain to you that you will not be taking your child home with you. In fact, you will not be allowed to see your child any more. She explains that they will be implementing actions to take your child from you permanently. All this will be going on while you can hear your sweet infant baby in the other room screaming for dear life because he/she too is going through withdrawals.
After the cps lady finally leaves you get a visit from the local sheriff office to inform you that they will be pressing child endangerment charges on you and not to leave the state or country. They may decide to put a officer out side of your room so they can give you a ride to the local jail.
If by some miracle you don?t end up going to jail you eventually get dressed and have to leave the hospital without your long awaited new family member. Your child will go to a different family while you go home alone. Feelings of guilt and pain of loss will haunt you forever.
Cps and the attorney general will do whatever they can at your first court hearing to prove you are not fit to take care of a child. They will paint the worst possible picture of you possible. Then they will move to strip you of all rights.

I am not trying to scare you out of using. I am trying to frighten you...and make sure you know the consequences of your actions. This not only could happen... it will happen. While these forums talks about drugs and using they speak of self use. When pregnant your responsible for another life. that baby has zero power to say no. You are the sole caretaker of its life and well being.

I beg of you to get help anywhere you possible can. Talk to a doctor. Get counseling. Do whatever you have to do. You don?t want to go through this experience...
I wish you all the well and will pray you find peace and make it through this.

Moderator if this reply is out of line with the rules please delete.
 
vett said:
The nurses and doctors will treat you like you are the worst person on the planet. Instead of gently giving you a shot be prepared for jabbing and stabbing of the needle

I get where you're coming from, but i don't think this is true at all.

OP, you're asking our help whilst also informing us of your plan to fly to the US.

I'm not sure what you're looking for. Reassurance? Debate? Reasoning?

How do you feel about becoming a mother? What sort of thoughts are you having about your unborn child?
It sounds like you have the support of medical people - is there anyone you can talk to about this stuff?
 
Amazed at people like OP. Your baby is going to come out retarded or stillborn with all those drugs youre ingesting. Pregabalin alone goes through breastmilk, I can't imagine what the methadone and meth is doing to your child. I really don't want to get an infraction here so I'm trying to be as nice as possible - GROW THE FUCK UP or don't have kids, period.
 
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My prayers are with you. You have the power to stand up and fight this, even if it's the toughest thing you ever had to do. Just stay and fight, confide in a family member or a close friend, and just tell them
what you're going through and also talk to a therapist, they'll help. But whatever you do, please don't get on that place to AZ. You'll lose your baby. depending on the states here in America, they'll take your child away from you if you have drugs in your system. and i'm not sure, but that might be something that stays on your record. Do WHATEVER you can when you get the urges, even if it's punching a car multiple times (lol, idk), WHATEVER you can, so you don't get urgers. there are a lot of meetings that you can go to. find a crystal meth anonymous meeting group around your town and attend and get numbers. There are going to be so many older women who are going to look at you and wish that they were in the place you are now. able to make the choice to use or not and keep their baby. But for some women, it's too late for them. The state took away their babies and there's nothing they could do for a loooooong time and with a lot of hard work. Please please please reconsider what you're doing.
a drug is just a drug honey. it'll be there whenever. it's not going anywhere. plus it's something that might make you feel good for a some hours, but it's going to make you feel like shit and like you hate yourself. and you're gonna regret going to AZ SOOOO BAD. Cause all you're gonna do is use, crash, try to get more to nto feel so shitty.

I beg you precious. you're only given one life and you're only given so many times at being a parent. don't throw it away on some bullshit like crystal meth.
 
Thank you OP for displaying the courage required to open up about this. No amount of scare tactics or enforced morality has ever gotten or kept an addict clean for long periods of time. Addicts can be analyzed, counseled, reasoned with, prayed over, threatened, beaten, or locked up and they aren't done until they are done. If you are done you will find an avenue of support here. I have to believe in some way that a part of you wants to be done or you probably would never have come to post this here.

If you are not done, please continue to share your struggles here as we are all examples in one form or another.
 
OP, my heart goes out to you. You are at a crossroads. Vett, unfortunately is correct. In more cases than not, that is what happens.

If any small part of you is open to get help, please at least try.

I understand the loneliness you feel. I just started Suboxone treatment. I have zero support. Including my husband, who wants to use subs as a backup plan, rather than to get well. My life is in financial shambles and it's not clicking in my husband's head yet.

I've been in this lifestyle long enough to know you can't force anyone to get well if they're not ready.

So- I have decisions to make. I'm trying to come up with a plan to leave. I can only control myself. Your baby is worth trying for. I have a daughter and cannot imagine my life without her. She, BY FAR, is the best thing that ever happened to me. Your child will be too Try to think of the years to come.

My hope for you is to get help. Only a small part of you has to want to. The rest will follow It's so worth it. The hell with everyone else and what they're doing, thinking, etc Shut all that stuff in your mind off (and trust me I know how hard it is and gets) and focus on you and your child. You are a mom now. It's an awesome blessing. I can promise you that.

All the best to you OP.
 
Really? Abort the damn thing if you want to keep using. Otherwise have fun with a miscarriage or raising a crack baby. Or having it taken away by the government. Your call.
 
Op... I think it goes without saying that while people on these boards are very open to drug use and sympathetic to abuse...once your pregnant your responsible for another life and the choice of using is taken away.
I knew a girl who got pregnant at a time when we were using. It wasn?t my baby. I have respect for the decision she made at the time. She dropped everything and went home to her parents and had the baby... drug free. It was very hard on her but she did it. She went back to drugs afterwards. Gave the baby up for adoption at birth cause she knew she wasn?t prepared to take care of it. But she took nine months out of the life she was leading to give birth. She is still in contact with the baby boy today.

Please get help if you can?t do this alone. You can always go back to destroying your life later.
 
Vett said:
The nurses and doctors will treat you like you are the worst person on the planet.
I get where you're coming from, but i don't think this is true at all.
It more than likely will be the case. American hospitals are not know for the compassionate care of addicts or alcoholics. And Arizona is probably not an enlightened place when it comes to these issues (can't say for sure because I've never lived there).

Why are you coming here? You'd probably be better off (or no worse off) than just staying put.
 
.... so on the quote. Can?t figure out how to get it to do that for me....

I spoke from first hand experience. I was helping another woman who was pregnant. She managed to stay clean up until the last month of pregnancy. (Because she was in rehab) the idiots let her out a month early. Her blood showed meth when she went to have the baby. I have never seen anybody treated with more disdain and disrespect after having a baby. I get it... I do... but it was bad. They were mean and hateful. They slammed needles into her that hurt and when she complained they scoffed it off. Cps took the child.
 
because addiction and alcoholism is a choice
Soooo, they deserve less compassionate care than the person who chose to drive recklessly and caused a major car accident? Your flawed logic aside, this attitude is what keeps the treatment of addicts in the dark ages. At some point it stops being a choice.

And getting back to the subject of Arizona, keep in mind these are the same people that kept reelecting the criminal Arpaio as the sheriff. If that is any indication, I would assume that their attitudes toward addiction (at least in Phoenix/Maricopa County) is regressive. But again, I've never lived there.
 
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So I got clean; left the meth behind.
Using methadone for codeine addiction under medical guidance.
And using pregabalin under obstertician guidance.

However, I fell out with my only friend and have been finding it difficult to make more friends. I feel bad, terrible. Found some meth in a pipe when clearing out the spare room for the baby. Started smoking it.

So want to buy more, but I know the dangers. I live in the uk and about to book me a ticker to phoneix AZ to keep using meth. Help me someone.

please stay put in the UK. <3

I'm not sure if there's anything I can say to help. Please take some time. Reach out to some people.
 
I wanted to come out to AZ as that is where I first tried and fell in love with meth. Its hard to get in the UK; ots here but still hard to get.
Thankfully, I told my parents about my cravings, and they have forced me to move back in with them and taken away passport and cards. Im glad.
I also opened up about my issues with a friend, who also delt with things negatively after our argument, and now we are sorting things out. It feels good.
Now I feel bad about using the meth, but I wont be using anymore. I hope the baby is okay.

Thanks to everyone that replied. Especially the ones that were quite explicit in describing how people would see me; its tue, and rightfully so. Only a total loser would use while pregnant. I hope to not fall off the wagon. Rehab is available, if need be thanks to my parents.

Will I ever stop craving AZ and meth?
 
Yes u will.
the meth cravings disapate much easier than opiated imo. You will be fine.
dont use.
think of the unborn child inside you.
 
Just stop using drugs or drinking alcohol... what care do they deserve? If they're in the hospital for an overdose or bad night (from drinking) then by all means - treat them with compassion and care.

But rehabs? 12 steps? NA? CA? Fuck all of that, grow some balls. I'm not making fun of alcoholism or addicts man, some people have it a LOT tougher in life than others (we have a whole continuum) and some of those on the lesser end cope by using drugs or alcohol.. but how can we treat them? They have my compassion and sympathy. Now that I think of it I think I'm on your side bro. Props

Honestly man, based on my life experience, life's tough. Think twice before you bring people into this f***ed up world.

Really ignorant and cruel post. I get the feeling that you know very little about addiction if you think it's as simple as "just stop using" or "grow some balls". I agree that not everyone chooses to use drugs to cope, but that doesn't mean those who make that choice don't suffer all the same. None of us want to be addicts, and this attitude that all one needs to do to change is to stop the behavior and toughen up is some backwards bullshit.
 
I am so happy to read everything you wrote here with one notable exception: you are not a loser. People make mistakes, people get confused and choose paths that are self-destructive. Yes, you needed to set yourself on a different path (and you are!:)) but don't lose your compassion for yourself. Use this time to ask yourself all the hard questions without moralizing? Why is it so tempting? How could you meet your needs without meth? Motherhood is a great chance to reflect on yourself because you can transfer your own needs and desires hypothetically onto your child in order to see from a different perspective. We rationalize and support our own cravings for unhealthy substances but when it comes to seeing our kids do the same thing we turn into mother bears! What if you became a mother bear for yourself? What if your child was craving meth? What would you advise him or her to do? More than likely you would try to find healthy ways for your child to have their needs met--needs for true human connection, emotional outlets, engaging hobbies and pursuits, ways to handle difficult emotions, ways to alleviate boredom, ways to develop good self-esteem. These are all things that may have led you to meth in their absence in the first place, so find ways to address them for yourself and you will have that in your parental "toolbox" to model for your child.

Congratulations on everything you are doing for yourself and your baby. This world needs healthy humans! Let's help each other become healthy.<3
 
Make no mistake, if you are caught using, either during pregnancy or after birth, your child will be taken from you. My SIL just went through this, and who knows when she'll ever see her baby again, if ever.
 
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