I have read so many posts about kids (18-22 year olds) having horrible trips and being terrified, so I thought I would share my story.
Note: I smoked weed during the entire 2 year span that I was doing acid.
I researched LSD for hours and days before even buying it. My first time tripping on Acid was the best. I bought some great acid from a reputable seller. I took it with a couple of friends at my home where I was completely safe. We had a blast. The entire trip was euphoric and, at times, full of uncontrollable laughter. It was fantastic.
My second trip, two weeks later, I decided I would go big or go home. I took three tabs because I was sure that this was my best opportunity at an amazing trip since I had little to no tolerance. I made a huge mistake. This time, I tripped with only one of my friends from the previous time. He tripped on one tab. (Btw, each tab was 110 ug every time.) An hour into the trip, it was already going down hill. He wanted to go to the backyard so I told him to go alone cause I needed to use the restroom. (Tense changes) I walk into the restroom and look in the mirror. My face begins to sweat uncontrollably and I have visual hallucinations. Nothing crazy, but everything looks fuzzy and moving. I wash my face with cold water and the sweating does not stop. I start to undress because I am a heavy sweater and I didn't want to sweat through my clothes, but everything is still so hot. By now, I am completely naked and it is still hot. I turned on the cold shower and sat in the tub. I blacked out and I may even have had a seizure. I don't know because nobody was there, not even me. When I awake, I run into my room, naked, wet, and afraid. I grab the sheet off my bed to dry myself and I sit on my bed curled up, completely mind fucked. Completely afraid. My friend comes into my room and sees my nuts and everything hanging out, but I'm so scared it doesn't even concern me. (Tense change, again.) He ended up calling his brother a couple hours later because i started to freak him out a little. I called another friend to come take care of me. I checked the time probably a million times, I was so desperate to see him. Eventually, he shows up with a couple other friends. Everybody looks different, though. Their faces are ugly and have huge dark bags under their eyes. I wasn't concerned with that, though. Finally, I wasn't alone. I would try to calm down, but it wasn't working and I started to freak out whenever there was too much noise. I swear I was so close to stabbing a dog because he wouldn't stop barking. I didn't, though. I just put him in the garage. I didn't sleep that entire night. My trip lasted until I was finally able to sleep over 12 hours later at 8 on the morning. The entire trip, I was terrified that I was gonna go insane and end up in a hospital, but the thought of being under care and knowing I was safe seemed so welcoming and warm. I wanted to call the police and go to a psych ward, but I held in there. After doing research, I decided I had experienced an ego death. For several weeks after the trip, I felt completely "out of it." I would zone out at work, while I was watching the 3rd graders. I would zone out in class. I thought it was over. With time, I started to feel better, but I never came back to being that beautiful, charming, kid.
I had another 2 or 3 bad trips (out of 2 or 3 more total trips) until I decided to stop doing acid. Each time was worse than the previous, but with time, I would feel spcloser to normal. The only time I felt happy and normal was when I was playing sports.
My final trip, I took half a tab from a friend. I had never let anybody buy me acid until this time and now I'm doubting its legitimacy. I didn't feel anything for a couple of hours and at like hour 3, I started to have panic attacks every 5 minutes, I would go to my dark restroom and lay on the floor until I felt like I could come back into the room with my friends. However, every 5 to 10 minutes I was right back in the restroom. I was sooooo thirsty. I drank so much water and I never peed. Towards the peak of my trip, probably like hour 6, I would hear noises that weren't real, my vision was completely distorted and I even had a seizure. I fell out of my chair, onto my face and, according to witnesses, I laid on the floor for two minutes, convulsed, and then woke up, confused. I remember I could see another reality in my head simultaneous with the current reality. I could see my mom and dad and a dr standing over me like I was in a coma, dying. I started to be convinced that that was the true reality and this was all a fantasy in my comatose state and acid was opening the doors to allow me to wake up from my coma. I felt like letting go of this fantasy where I was tripping on acid and returning "home" where I would be eternally happy. However, my uncertainty led me to stick with what was familiar, which was this reality. I wasnt sure if what I was seeing was the truth or psychosis. I became terrified because part of me didn't mind being crazy and happy, but part of me wanted to stick with what was familiar. In the end, I stuck with familiar.
my entire trip, my mind raced and I couldn't hold onto any thought and I couldn't slow it down. After my second trip, I taught myself to mediate away any and all feelings, but that wasn't working either. It was hell because my own mind was the devil.
For days after my trip, I had anxiety through the roof and panic attacks. But I went to work two days later with my dad and over breakfast, I told them what had happened. I was so nervous to say anything, but keeping it from them was just making me overthink more. I was so stuck in my head, overthinking and over analyzing everything. So when I finally told them, I felt an immense relief. I told them about the seizure and my mom took me to the hospital. I got a ct scan and my brain was physically healthy. The nurse in the ER was a judgmental little b word and I did not appreciate the way she looked at my mother and I.
My trips made me aware of an "it". I don't know exactly how to explain "it", but it's always there and if I live in the moment, I can ignore it. But if I'm alone or have nothing to do, "it" reigns. I've been learning to control it and recently it doesn't even phase me.
My conclusion from my last trip and my advice to anybody suffering after a bad trip. You will be fine as long as you believe it. Your mind can do anything and consuming psychoactive drugs regularly takes you out of control. Your mind becomes uncontrollable and your thoughts race and overthinking prevails. I accepted that whatever had happened happened and if I was crazy, I would enjoy it. I let go of anything negative in my mind and I completely changed my life. I stopped smoking, drinking, and i started working hard, and learning. Knowledge is the key to confidence and confidence is what was ripped out of me. I love to learn and I love to work hard. Man was made to work, whether by God or evolution. The most important thing I have found is that I need to keep my mind occupied. Occupying your mind with work and education keeps my mind from wandering into psychosis or schizophrenia. If I let myself, I really think my mind is powerful enough to make me crazy.
Conclusion to my conclusion: Don't be scared, you fear what you do not understand. Educate yourself instead. Have faith in something. It can be anything, physics, God, the law of attraction, Maslows hierarchy of needs, etc. it doesn't matter what you believe, if you believe it, it is true.
Honestly, bad trips have been the best thing that ever happened to me. My final trip led me to finding who I want to be and it led me to realize that where there is a will, there is a way. There's nothing stopping you but your own excuses. Don't want, do! Be! Don't want to be normal, just do it! You are in charge of your mind and you really need to believe that. I found complete positivity in everything I do and everything around me. Life is beautiful and so give nothing but love to all people. It's incredible that we exist, live like you're the luckiest person because we all are.
Just remember: you might be crazy, so? It's just life. Don't take it so serious. Don't stress. The only problem you can't solve is death and it's coming for all of us. There's no time for overthinking. When you do, take a deep breath and breath out slowly, let everything go. Live in THIS moment.
PS: I got a fortune cookie years back that I kept in my wallet and it reads: Live in THIS moment. And that shit trips me out. It's the most important thing I ever read, I didn't think it would help me so much years after the buffet. I think I'm gonna play those numbers on the lottery this year.
Note: I smoked weed during the entire 2 year span that I was doing acid.
I researched LSD for hours and days before even buying it. My first time tripping on Acid was the best. I bought some great acid from a reputable seller. I took it with a couple of friends at my home where I was completely safe. We had a blast. The entire trip was euphoric and, at times, full of uncontrollable laughter. It was fantastic.
My second trip, two weeks later, I decided I would go big or go home. I took three tabs because I was sure that this was my best opportunity at an amazing trip since I had little to no tolerance. I made a huge mistake. This time, I tripped with only one of my friends from the previous time. He tripped on one tab. (Btw, each tab was 110 ug every time.) An hour into the trip, it was already going down hill. He wanted to go to the backyard so I told him to go alone cause I needed to use the restroom. (Tense changes) I walk into the restroom and look in the mirror. My face begins to sweat uncontrollably and I have visual hallucinations. Nothing crazy, but everything looks fuzzy and moving. I wash my face with cold water and the sweating does not stop. I start to undress because I am a heavy sweater and I didn't want to sweat through my clothes, but everything is still so hot. By now, I am completely naked and it is still hot. I turned on the cold shower and sat in the tub. I blacked out and I may even have had a seizure. I don't know because nobody was there, not even me. When I awake, I run into my room, naked, wet, and afraid. I grab the sheet off my bed to dry myself and I sit on my bed curled up, completely mind fucked. Completely afraid. My friend comes into my room and sees my nuts and everything hanging out, but I'm so scared it doesn't even concern me. (Tense change, again.) He ended up calling his brother a couple hours later because i started to freak him out a little. I called another friend to come take care of me. I checked the time probably a million times, I was so desperate to see him. Eventually, he shows up with a couple other friends. Everybody looks different, though. Their faces are ugly and have huge dark bags under their eyes. I wasn't concerned with that, though. Finally, I wasn't alone. I would try to calm down, but it wasn't working and I started to freak out whenever there was too much noise. I swear I was so close to stabbing a dog because he wouldn't stop barking. I didn't, though. I just put him in the garage. I didn't sleep that entire night. My trip lasted until I was finally able to sleep over 12 hours later at 8 on the morning. The entire trip, I was terrified that I was gonna go insane and end up in a hospital, but the thought of being under care and knowing I was safe seemed so welcoming and warm. I wanted to call the police and go to a psych ward, but I held in there. After doing research, I decided I had experienced an ego death. For several weeks after the trip, I felt completely "out of it." I would zone out at work, while I was watching the 3rd graders. I would zone out in class. I thought it was over. With time, I started to feel better, but I never came back to being that beautiful, charming, kid.
I had another 2 or 3 bad trips (out of 2 or 3 more total trips) until I decided to stop doing acid. Each time was worse than the previous, but with time, I would feel spcloser to normal. The only time I felt happy and normal was when I was playing sports.
My final trip, I took half a tab from a friend. I had never let anybody buy me acid until this time and now I'm doubting its legitimacy. I didn't feel anything for a couple of hours and at like hour 3, I started to have panic attacks every 5 minutes, I would go to my dark restroom and lay on the floor until I felt like I could come back into the room with my friends. However, every 5 to 10 minutes I was right back in the restroom. I was sooooo thirsty. I drank so much water and I never peed. Towards the peak of my trip, probably like hour 6, I would hear noises that weren't real, my vision was completely distorted and I even had a seizure. I fell out of my chair, onto my face and, according to witnesses, I laid on the floor for two minutes, convulsed, and then woke up, confused. I remember I could see another reality in my head simultaneous with the current reality. I could see my mom and dad and a dr standing over me like I was in a coma, dying. I started to be convinced that that was the true reality and this was all a fantasy in my comatose state and acid was opening the doors to allow me to wake up from my coma. I felt like letting go of this fantasy where I was tripping on acid and returning "home" where I would be eternally happy. However, my uncertainty led me to stick with what was familiar, which was this reality. I wasnt sure if what I was seeing was the truth or psychosis. I became terrified because part of me didn't mind being crazy and happy, but part of me wanted to stick with what was familiar. In the end, I stuck with familiar.
my entire trip, my mind raced and I couldn't hold onto any thought and I couldn't slow it down. After my second trip, I taught myself to mediate away any and all feelings, but that wasn't working either. It was hell because my own mind was the devil.
For days after my trip, I had anxiety through the roof and panic attacks. But I went to work two days later with my dad and over breakfast, I told them what had happened. I was so nervous to say anything, but keeping it from them was just making me overthink more. I was so stuck in my head, overthinking and over analyzing everything. So when I finally told them, I felt an immense relief. I told them about the seizure and my mom took me to the hospital. I got a ct scan and my brain was physically healthy. The nurse in the ER was a judgmental little b word and I did not appreciate the way she looked at my mother and I.
My trips made me aware of an "it". I don't know exactly how to explain "it", but it's always there and if I live in the moment, I can ignore it. But if I'm alone or have nothing to do, "it" reigns. I've been learning to control it and recently it doesn't even phase me.
My conclusion from my last trip and my advice to anybody suffering after a bad trip. You will be fine as long as you believe it. Your mind can do anything and consuming psychoactive drugs regularly takes you out of control. Your mind becomes uncontrollable and your thoughts race and overthinking prevails. I accepted that whatever had happened happened and if I was crazy, I would enjoy it. I let go of anything negative in my mind and I completely changed my life. I stopped smoking, drinking, and i started working hard, and learning. Knowledge is the key to confidence and confidence is what was ripped out of me. I love to learn and I love to work hard. Man was made to work, whether by God or evolution. The most important thing I have found is that I need to keep my mind occupied. Occupying your mind with work and education keeps my mind from wandering into psychosis or schizophrenia. If I let myself, I really think my mind is powerful enough to make me crazy.
Conclusion to my conclusion: Don't be scared, you fear what you do not understand. Educate yourself instead. Have faith in something. It can be anything, physics, God, the law of attraction, Maslows hierarchy of needs, etc. it doesn't matter what you believe, if you believe it, it is true.
Honestly, bad trips have been the best thing that ever happened to me. My final trip led me to finding who I want to be and it led me to realize that where there is a will, there is a way. There's nothing stopping you but your own excuses. Don't want, do! Be! Don't want to be normal, just do it! You are in charge of your mind and you really need to believe that. I found complete positivity in everything I do and everything around me. Life is beautiful and so give nothing but love to all people. It's incredible that we exist, live like you're the luckiest person because we all are.
Just remember: you might be crazy, so? It's just life. Don't take it so serious. Don't stress. The only problem you can't solve is death and it's coming for all of us. There's no time for overthinking. When you do, take a deep breath and breath out slowly, let everything go. Live in THIS moment.
PS: I got a fortune cookie years back that I kept in my wallet and it reads: Live in THIS moment. And that shit trips me out. It's the most important thing I ever read, I didn't think it would help me so much years after the buffet. I think I'm gonna play those numbers on the lottery this year.
