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Treatment Queen Buprenorphine and the Chronological Dragon

Today is halfway through January and I have been at 0.5pm every 48 hourse now for about 6 days. I have been using the peptides since Thursday and I added some human growth hormone to my therapy. This is more for the healing and the increased uptake of vitamin and minerals associated with hgh. It can get a bit expensive running hgh long term, but for 2 or 3 months it will be worth it.

I will update later this week when I extend the time to 60 hours later this week.
 
Hey Wolf,

Sorry for the late reply and glad to hear from you. I can't believe you've already managed to decrease your dose to a low level of 0.5mg every 48 hours ! .. That's such great news and I'm really happy that you're making such great progress. Are you going to be decreasing your dose any lower than this, or are you going to continue skipping days now until you jump ? .. Often, when people share their intentions to start tapering or decreasing their dose, they are often faced with the harsh reality of just how difficult this can be, and they fail to maintain their plans of titrating.

I'm always re-doing the maths each time I post, but today would be day 19 of consecutively taking Suboxone at 2mg each day.

At the moment I'm feeling great, and to be honest I'm not quite sure what to do with my newfound stability. There is a part of me that believes I am only feeling like this because I talked up Suboxone so much in my head before I began my maintenance program, but I've decided to enjoy myself and continue moving forward instead of beating myself up and slipping back into a depressive state.

I was talking to my best friend the other day, and I surprised myself when my response to his question of "How have you been lately?" wasn't "depressed". I can honestly say that I don't feel depressed at the moment, and that's really saying something for me.

There are downsides though. I often find myself feeling quite lost of a night time, and I've also noticed that my intake of weed has increased dramatically (which I didn't think was possible). I am assuming that this is because of the buprenorphine in my system and the fact that it (to some degree) supersedes the effects of the cannabis. I'm not complaining though, merely observing.

Work life is good, sex life is non-existent (nothing new there), and I'll be moving house soon which I'm quite excited about. The opportunity to save money over the last month or so has been probably the most rewarding part of this journey.

Anyways, that's about it for now. I'm looking forward to hearing back from you soon Wolf, and hope that you continue to move forward the way that you have been doing.

Take it easy mate :)
 
Hey n1ght.

I think the reason I have been ok with reducing is my days are full with my son. He is a recent addition to my life and started Kindergarten this past September. He keeps me pretty busy and if I am away from the house I dont take any suboxone with me. That is a big change as I used to never be able to leave the house with out a pocket full of pills. I have a script for weed and to be honest I never really enjoyed it. Even in my youth it was never a draw for me. I may add some Kratom as I have located a local store that provides it and may try it when I step off the suboxone. I do have a limited supply as I dont have a script for it. I am not sure how well it will go beyond the 48 hours as I do feel a bit of the early stages of a WD at that stage.

I am going to allow the peptides shots I am now taking to build up a bit before I try and step off. Like you I am very comfortable at my current level. If I had a supply from a doctor I might stay on it. Just not sure what the long term effects would be.

Doing the lone parent thing has helped and having my little guy with me is a big motivation thing for all of this. I keep reading more on here and applying what others have done to my own situation and that helps a lot.

Keep going and I hope by the end of the month I will be done and never look back. I hope the same for everyone else who takes this journey.
 
Hey n1ghtcrawl3r

We might be the only ones checking this thread now. I am in my final week of Suboxone and I am 48 hours between doses at 0.5mg. At the end of this week I will step off (and run out) of all opiods. I have accessed a local legitimate sourse for Kratom and have been trying a few types. I dont know if I am going to use it after stepping off, but I will keep some around just in case. Up until this pill addiction I had never really been a recreational user of anything. I have tried many things but to be honest never really got into them. I had a script for weed and it helped with some issues I had but after 3 months the issue was resolved and I just stopped. I was doing about 2g grams a day and I am glad it helped me.

The onlt thing I did enjoy, but not something that can be done very often were mushrooms and LSD. I love the physical parts of shrooms and the hallucinations of that and LSD. But those can only be enjoyed maybe ones or twice a year. So I am not to worried about getting a Kratom habit. For me its a means to and end.

I do have to say the Selank, Semax and hgh are working fine. My mood has been supper good and its a very subtle feeling. Not as jarring and feeling like your wired for sound as medications. When I was a teen I was prescribed yellow jackets (speed) and even after 3 years on them I simply stopped as the reason was gone.

Hope you are ok. Stay healthy.
 
So far things are going as expected. Today I made plans to take a holiday with my son. I book tickets for the two of us to fly in mid March to Thailand for 6 weeks. We will travel to northern Thailand to stay with some of my friends who live along the Mekong River on the boarder of Vietnam. We will be there for the Thai New Year celebration called Songkran. It is a massive week long water fight and a great time to celebrate life. I have a few more weeks of wd coming when I step off suboxone but I will survive I am sure. If at the end of 6 weeks I still have any urdes I may just extended our stay a few more weeks. Better to get away from temtations than risk a relapse. I will try and keep updating here.
 
Hey Wolf,

I can't believe I went so long without posting. I'd like to apologize for my lack of attendance and contribution toward my own thread. I recently had quite a severe accident and hurt my leg very badly. To cut a long story short, I was going for a swim at the beach and when I jumped off the end of a pier, I managed to land on a big metal fishing cage-looking object. I cut my leg open and ended up in hospital and had to have an operation. This happened back in January (around the 21st of Jan or something like that).

Since then, I have increased my dosage of Suboxone up to 4mg daily. I did this because I was in quite a lot of pain when the injury first took place. Due to being on Suboxone, I was not able to take any other opiate medications, and so this was the most plausible solution to pain relief. At times I feel upset with myself for increasing my dosage. I also feel as though I'm going backwards, instead of making the progress that I was trying to make. It has been a difficult time.

With all of this having been said, I still feel as though Suboxone managed to give me my life back. I still smoke too much weed and would like to eventually get on top of this also, but all-in-all I feel much less depressed and hopeless than what I'm used to feeling. This entire experience of starting ORT (opiate replacement therapy) was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Certainly there are cons, but they are seemingly outweighed by the pros.

I am very happy to hear about your success with tapering your Sub dosage, and I'm glad that you have a holiday lined up also. Sometimes it helps TREMENDOUSLY just to have that time to get away from the rat-race and to focus on yourself. I'm very eager to hear about how you're travelling now, and how difficult you have found the withdrawals to be.

As always, I'll be eagerly waiting your response.

And again, I'm incredibly sorry for such a massive delay in getting back to you. I will make more of an effort to keep posting and communicating on this thread as much as I can.

Talk soon,
n1ght :)
 
n1ghtcrawl3r said:
I guess I'm just trying to work my brain out. WHY do I feel the need to self medicate in the first place ? .. Why don't others ? ..

What's different with my brain compared to people whom aren't addicts. And how can I work towards fixing it so I can have a life ? .. Of course, these questions are mostly rhetorical.

I feel as though my life without drugs is just as painful as my life with drugs.

I want this to change :)
Click to expand...

This really hit home for me. I'm thinking therapy once I kick my habit. Being an introvert has really kept me inside my head...maybe it's time to get it out in the open and figure out why we are broken so we can start putting the pieces back together.
 
Hey BigPoppaGoonie,

Thanks for the message, and I'm glad that I said something that you can relate to. I have felt this way for a while now and have been working towards getting it sorted, but I guess it just takes time. Regardless of the fact that I'm currently on ORT (opiate replacement therapy), I feel very positive atm and am excited about my future.

As promised, I will make more of an effort to keep posting and keeping myself (and you guys) updated with my progress.

Hope you're all doing OK and hanging in there !

Please keep contributing to my thread on this forum :)

n1ght
 
I'm definitely over-due for another update, so I will be back soon to post some more stuff.

Thanks again for everybody that has made a level of contribution to this thread and I hope that you are all hanging in there and doing well !

n1ght
 
n1ghtcrawl3r said:
I'm definitely over-due for another update, so I will be back soon to post some more stuff.

Thanks again for everybody that has made a level of contribution to this thread and I hope that you are all hanging in there and doing well !

n1ght
Click to expand...

Hello Everyone;

I have not updated here in a while, but wanted to give people an update on my progress. I have just returned from my holiday and things have worked out very well. With a lot of effort I continued to drop my dose of Suboxone lower and lower until about 10 dayes before leaving the country. It became hard to measure the amount I was using so I had to get creative when I was below 1mg a day. I would start my week with just 1 8mg tablet ground up. I would then mix in an equal amount of kids chew-able vitamins to increase the physical amount. This would then me divided into 8 doses. I continued to drop lower and lower by increasing the amount of Flintstones or reducing the amount of Suboxone. This week I had my physical and I arranged to have a drug screen added to my blood and urine tests. It came back negative for all substances! Keep in mind that I have never been drug screened before this and I was very surprised. I am still worried about the future and I really want to avoid a relapse. Anyone know if its possible to add an order to ones medical records to never treat with opium products? I fear having an accident and waking up hooked to some IV and starting this process over again like n1ghtcrawl3 with his leg.....
 
Hey bud;

How you been? So far I have been clean for 3 months and it does get easier with time.
 
Hey Wolf!


I haven't been on Bluelight for an exceptionally long amount of time, which I do regret. I think that the last time I posted on this site I was on 4mg daily? Currently I am taking roughly 6mg daily (sometimes less, sometimes a tad more) and this all started back when I injured myself in January of this same year. Since having started this post earlier in the year to track my progress, I can see that my dosage has increased through-out, so I am really going to have to try and spend some time working on this next year. I was reading back through this thread but I was unable to see where you had mentioned how long you'd been on Suboxone before you started your taper. May I ask how long you were taking Subs for before you decided to stop?


Also, anybody else that is able to answer this question is welcome to contribute! I am really interested in hearing some more stories about people whom have been taking Suboxone for an extended period of time and have then decided to quit. How long were you taking Suboxone for? What made you decide to stop? Did you taper or go cold turkey?


Thanks so much everybody! I am going to try and make more of an effort to stay active in 2019.
 
First time I wait sub I had been on it for around 5 years at 2-4mg. 4mg the first year then I eventually got down to 2mg then maybe 1mg the last year or so but I never kept a close count. I just took a little piece everyday or when I felt the sickness coming.

I didn't really taper before I went to rehab. It was ugly. At the time it was the worst thing I had ever experienced. Looking back it could of been way worse or way better depending on your perspective. This was 6 years ago so time and experience colors everything of course.

I remember the insomnia the most. I honestly didn't sleep more than a few minute at a time for 2 weeks. Everything ached especially my back. Just a low grade constant pain. I was always cold. It was 90+ degrees summer in South Florida and I was wearing winter clothes. Depressed and angry just not someone you wanted to be around. Everyone hated me. It rattled me at the time. I really thought I had seen the worst of opiate withdrawal. (I wish).

Looking back. It wasn't the intensity it was the duration. Being sick for weeks just beats you down. O didn't have the right meds. Gabapentin and a benzo would of changed the whole scenario. I didn't have a good mindset either. I was forced off.

Actual time table. Withdrawal peaked on day 12 or 13 and started easing up on day 20. Felt better by day 25. Relapsed on day 31.
 
Hey what's up N1ght? I just got done reading this thread. Wow you really tried hard bro! Hope you're doing good. I myself am on methadone. Without a doubt methadone saved my life. I am so happy now. I pray your doing good bro! Update if you can brotha?
 
Hey guys, hope you're all doing well. Thanks so much for taking the time to read through my thread DrewDogBaby209, and thanks heaps for the update CJ. It's good to hear from some other people that are going through the same thing, even if it has been a little while since I last posted. We've just rolled into the new year, and currently I have plans to try and ensure that I'm off Suboxone by the end of the year (at the absolute latest). I have left myself quite a large time-frame because I want to make sure that I do this properly, instead of rushing off it and then relapsing somewhere down the line. I must say though DrewDogBaby209, that I have had the same experience with Suboxone. They certainly gave me a big part of my life and my time back, and for the first time in 27 years I finally have some savings in the bank, so for that I am grateful.

CJ, are you currently still taking Suboxone?
DrewDogBaby209, how long have you been on methadone for?

I look forward to hearing from you guys :)
 
Yeah I'm on 3mg a day. I dropped from 6 to 3mg late last year and it was fairly easy. I mean it sucked but it wasn't impossible. Granted I had Ativan.
 
Hey CJ - That's good to hear man. I'm currently prescribed 6mg a day, but most days I only take around 4-5mg (depending on how I'm feeling). I do this because I like to try and have as many spares as I can, because it allows me a little more freedom.

Although you did relapse after 31 days of sobriety, I find it really admirable that you were able to make it that far! It must feel reassuring knowing that you do have the strength within you somewhere when you need to use it, and I know that one day we'll eventually make it out the other side.

You said that the first time you were on Suboxone it was something like 4-5 years? To this date, how long have you been battling with this? I have been battling with addiction for around about 10 years, but only taking Suboxone for about 1 year and 2 months.

Hope your day is going okay mate.
 
Hi All,

I hope everybody has been doing well and plotting through life without too much turmoil. I know I haven't posted in a while, but I have been making some real positive changes lately so I have decided to turn to my online forum again to get some of this positive news out into the ether.

First of all, I'm considering the creation of a new thread as it seems this one may have run its course. If I do create a new thread on a new platform, then I will make sure to include the link to it in this thread, and vice versa (I'll put a link to this old thread in the new forum too).

In short, over the last couple of weeks I have starting tapering by Suboxone intake, and have also turned to vaporizing my nicotine as opposed to smoking cigarettes (about 2 weeks free from durries). I dropped down to 4mg of Suboxone on Monday (so it's been roughly 5 days), as opposed to taking my 6mg daily as usual. I wasn't always taking 6mg a day and sometimes it would differ, but generally speaking that was certainly my average amount (sometimes more, sometimes less).

I am still smoking marijuana daily, but since having turned to my vaporizer I've noticed that my intake of weed has also decreased quite a lot. This is because it seemingly keeps my inevitable need for consumption of substances satisfied enough to remain preoccupied with vaping, and I don’t feel the constant need to keep having another billy. Well, I kind of do, but it’s a work in progress.


So, to sum things up, I have enacted a long-term plan to sort myself out. I am going to be approaching this with small, incremental and attainable goals that keep me moving forward in a positive direction, and I’m going to be keeping a log of this so that I don’t slip and end up going backwards. My plan is to first give up Suboxone, and then to move on to marijuana. I’ve even been considering going to university and getting educated, but that’s a conversation for another time.

If you’ve made it this far, then thank you so much for reading through what I have to say, and stay tuned. I’m just getting started over here.

n1ght x
 
Hey everybody, hope you're all doing well!

I won't drop into my usual conversation about my lack of posting and my intention of starting a new thread, because I'm here tonight mostly for just the one reason. Over the last few weeks I have been making an effort to reduce my bad habits (smoking, not exercising, etc) and I have made a bit of progress in some of these areas. I've managed to completely give up smoking tobacco (I'm just vaping nicotine at the moment), and I've also stopped smoking bongs (started using a pipe and smoking straight green). I have also tapered my usage of Suboxone down to 4mg a day, and am dropping another 1mg off today. Today is my first day on only 3mg, and I plan on continuing this for another week or two until I make a further drop down to 2mg. I do still need to put some focus into my physical health as well (specifically my bowels and issues with IBS), but I'm kind of hoping that my decrease in Suboxone might assist in getting some of my digestive issues back on track.

Anyways, more to the point of this post - I really wanted to make a note of just how much some of this stuff has been improving my mental health. Last night I experienced this incredible feeling after I got home from riding my pushbike, and it was like my mind was totally calm and at peace. I'm probably going to struggle to describe it in any great detail, but it was kind of like my character and personality came into alignment with what I'm trying to achieve, and it washed over me like a warm opiate buzz of solidity and confidence. I knew (even if only for a moment) that I'm doing what I need to be doing, and that I'm on the right path. I guess I just wanted to write this down somewhere because I don't want to forget what that felt like, and I want to try and cultivate that feeling as best I can.

I still have a long way to go, but THAT was the feeling of joy. THAT was the feeling that I've always hoped to feel when I'm walking into a room full of people. It's the feeling I've always chased with drugs, and it was a strange kind of realisation that I can gain this feeling naturally. I realised that this experience was the result of moving forward in my life and not letting myself get left behind. That I am actually looking after MYSELF, that I can be my own true best friend, and that I will genuinely be rewarded with a feeling of stability that I have NEVER been able to achieve through shoving stuff into my body.

I apologise if that's all a bit much hahaha, but I really needed to get it off my chest. I'm not sure if there's anybody out there who is still tracking through this thread, but if you're reading this then thank you, and please don't hesitate to reach out for a chat if you're feeling it.

Goodnight everybody, and thanks for all the love and support.

n1ght Xx
 
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